J
Jullianna
Guest
What's the difference? The intent of the heart? Is there a difference?
Last edited by a moderator:
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
D
djness
Guest
gos·sip
/ˈgäsip/
Noun
Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.
I've had trouble with this my whole life, I tend to talk way to much and about things I know I shouldn't. Sometimes I shut myself up sometimes I lift the flood gates.
I've had a hard time with it especially here, many times because it's hard to know if people are being honest or not, sometimes I want to help people or get to know them better, and I end up getting used or hurt and then I found out they did the same thing to other people. So I have difficulty deciding what is gossip and what is defensive knowledge.
J
Jullianna
Guest
We probably all get caught up in that from time to time, djness.
A few months ago I was blatantly honest about something with a friend regarding the friend's specific questions, but after a time I felt that perhaps those questions were inappropriate and that I had been inappropriate as well by answering. My heart was in the right place, as I wanted to protect my friend, but I'm not sure my mouth was.
Lesson learned. Won't happen again. Feels a little like gossip now and I reeeeeeeeally hate gossip. I hate saying negative things about people period, whether they are true or not.
A few months ago I was blatantly honest about something with a friend regarding the friend's specific questions, but after a time I felt that perhaps those questions were inappropriate and that I had been inappropriate as well by answering. My heart was in the right place, as I wanted to protect my friend, but I'm not sure my mouth was.
Lesson learned. Won't happen again. Feels a little like gossip now and I reeeeeeeeally hate gossip. I hate saying negative things about people period, whether they are true or not.
I feel like motivations are important, are we saying these thingsn to put other people down and feel better about ourselves or to help other people or help ourselves understand a situation properly and help?
Sometimes I feel like we avoid talking about certain topics because of fear of gossip, when actually these things need discussion.
Sometimes I feel like we avoid talking about certain topics because of fear of gossip, when actually these things need discussion.
K
kenisyes
Guest
Phil. 4:8 is a good measuring stick for conversations involving other people. If you start thinking it's gossip, it probably is. If you have something you don't like about someone, go to them, not to someone else.
J
Jordache
Guest
Most people learn by screwing up. Ken is right that its best to just trust your instincts. Sometimes we need to net and get counsel on a situation, butthat should always be with a trusted confidant.
I'm a little confused here. I always thought that gossip was related to the truth of a matter. If you don't know for certain something is truth, don't share it. But if you do know for certain and good might come from sharing it, what's the fear? :/
J
Jullianna
Guest
Gossip is quite an issue where I work. It's awful. So often it appears that people will repeat a thing knowing only the part they saw or heard, without bothering to find out the rest of the story, which probably isn't any of their business either. 
Gossip is quite an issue where I work. It's awful. So often it appears that people will repeat a thing knowing only the part they saw or heard, without bothering to find out the rest of the story, which probably isn't any of their business either.
I wonder if it comes out of the inquisitiveness and people-oriented nature of your profession.
J
Jullianna
Guest
I don't see it as a matter of fear, but rather a matter of honor, you know? The test for me is whether I would want things told about me, whether it was true or not. At this point I don't feel it is a right thing for me to do, whether I'm trying to help or not. I'd like to think that God will honor that choice by giving me other words to say that will bring about the same effect.
M
meggars
Guest
ooooh so true. you should do what i do....assume everything on the interwebs is untrue and ALWAYS be on the defensive whether having gained knowledge or not, thereby negating the need to even discuss anybody because you already KNOW they're a lying, thieving so-and-so....
J
Jullianna
Guest
For me personally, if I feel uncomfortable in the slightest, if the person's not there, if this would not edify the person I'm talking about, it's gossip. Sometimes I'll slip, and I'll just get right back up and try my best not to do it.
I also find that I need to be careful when sharing prayer requests from other people. Sometimes I do find myself judging. Sometimes I might add in my opinion or speculation about this prayer request. And that's not right. I'm creating gossip.
In response to your response Djness, I know we're two different people, but I find that the easiest way to deal with people here is to keep my guard up all the time. I don't allow myself to open up or share personal/passionate things until after I've observed someone for a long time, to see what they're really about. And since word spreads at the speed of light on cc, I tend to just keep my mouth shut in overpopulated rooms. Better to avoid the drama, for me.
I also find that I need to be careful when sharing prayer requests from other people. Sometimes I do find myself judging. Sometimes I might add in my opinion or speculation about this prayer request. And that's not right. I'm creating gossip.
In response to your response Djness, I know we're two different people, but I find that the easiest way to deal with people here is to keep my guard up all the time. I don't allow myself to open up or share personal/passionate things until after I've observed someone for a long time, to see what they're really about. And since word spreads at the speed of light on cc, I tend to just keep my mouth shut in overpopulated rooms. Better to avoid the drama, for me.
If that's a polite way of saying they're nosey, probably
Me? Polite? Never been accused of that one before! :O
K
keep_on_smiling
Guest
I think it's pretty safe to say that if you wouldn't talk about particular things with the person being spoken about, then don't talk about it with other people; that tends to avoid a lot of gossip.
Clee356: You are so right!!! If it doesn't edify a person then we shouldn't talk about it with others.
Working in a school it seems everyone is always talking about someone else. I find it exhausting to even be around. I wish I could find a way to avoid it other than stating that they shouldn't talk about others.
Another thought is that sometimes it's hard to know what would be gossip because of today's social sites such as facebook, if a person posts something for the world or even just friends to see, is it gossip to talk about posts? Maybe the same things still apply.
Clee356: You are so right!!! If it doesn't edify a person then we shouldn't talk about it with others.
Working in a school it seems everyone is always talking about someone else. I find it exhausting to even be around. I wish I could find a way to avoid it other than stating that they shouldn't talk about others.
Another thought is that sometimes it's hard to know what would be gossip because of today's social sites such as facebook, if a person posts something for the world or even just friends to see, is it gossip to talk about posts? Maybe the same things still apply.