you are in my prayers, dear. *hugs*
it is impossible to please God without faith (hebrews 11:6), and your circumstances are helping you to build faith. take comfort, rest in God, and pray without ceasing, meaning keep that dialogue with God open, and tell Him your thoughts and fears.
use God as that "venting place" as you would a friend, a loved one, a Father. this is a time that can help you to build your relationship. don't miss out on that.