Yea you should pray and ask the Lord to lead you to someone who is trustworthy,who is filled with His Spirit who can help you with this.We are a Body of believers and we are to help one another.
Because of the pain this has caused you,the Lord is very keen to heal you of your pain and He doesnt want you to suffer alone,or in silence.
I have encountered something similar to this,and I held it in my heart for years and hid in shame,and didnt tell anyone,until one day in desperation I broke down.Especially as your a leader,He wants you to be whole so that you can minister to others so its very important that you pray and let Him lead you to someone who can walk with you through a process of healing.It will not be easy cos you will have to share some of these experiences which you have hidden,but when you speak out and let God take away the shame,and you will feel so much better.
He is a God of restoration,He wants to work this out for you,give it to Him and watch what He does...you are not alone...