J
Jordache
Guest
Below is a letter that I plan on sending to my mother on Friday. I just want pray over it, and opinions. I do know that my mom is not going read it and exclaim my brilliance. She will be very angry, but that's ok. I already know it will hurt, and I do not look forward to it at all, but I feel like it's necessary.
This is my attempt to be clear so that I can know that I've said what I need to say to her whether or not she hears it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Mom,
I want you to know that I pray for you, for your spiritual, physical, and emotional health and healing. I believe that God is capable of healing anything we allow Him to. I love you and I want to see you healed. It hurts me to know that you are hurting, but I know I can do nothing to fix you.
I know that you are hurt and angry with my choices. I understand that it doesn’t make sense to you, and I don’t believe any amount of explaining can change that. However, perhaps having something in writing will be more concrete and serve as a tool that you can take to Suzanne or your other Christian friends to pray over with you.
I am trying to heal. I am learning to be me. All my life I have lived to support others, to convince them they’re good, and to help them pick up the slack in their own lives. All the while, I was suffering and didn’t know it. Though what I say may seem harsh or judgmental, it is merely an acknowledgement of the truth for the sake of moving on.
I have been caring for all of your needs since I was a little girl. Somehow, in your brokenness, you required such a sacrifice of me. And if the burden of carrying your life on my shoulders wasn’t enough, when my choices didn’t not coincide with yours there came the attack. I will no longer take responsibility for your every rise and fall.
I have unfortunately heard messages from you my whole life that no daughter should ever hear from her mother. Perhaps it was a disease talking, but I have every right to remove myself from the path of your words. I will no longer accept your messages. I know now that they are more a reflection of how you feel about yourself. I do not wish to hear an apology. I have heard them enough that now I just want follow through. I also hope that you learn to admit honesty how you see yourself and how you have projected that onto me.
I will no longer be your punching bag. I am not your failed child just because I don’t do what you want. I am not a tease, a slut, bound to be hurt, or your greatest disappointment. I won’t allow you to guilt me for taking care of myself, or twist my choices so they somehow become a personal attack on you. I cannot allow you to treat me like this anymore.
I do not discount what you’ve been through. You were a broken and scared little girl just like I was. I know you hate yourself. Unless you deal with that root, you will continue to respond to me as you always have. However, now one thing has changed: I won’t take it.
I do not blame you for all my problems. I made my choices just like you make yours. But I do expect you to take responsibility for those choices. This means you actively seek to overcome the brokenness and not just apologize and excuse away the rages. Until you do this, it is unsafe for me to
This is my attempt to be clear so that I can know that I've said what I need to say to her whether or not she hears it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Mom,
I want you to know that I pray for you, for your spiritual, physical, and emotional health and healing. I believe that God is capable of healing anything we allow Him to. I love you and I want to see you healed. It hurts me to know that you are hurting, but I know I can do nothing to fix you.
I know that you are hurt and angry with my choices. I understand that it doesn’t make sense to you, and I don’t believe any amount of explaining can change that. However, perhaps having something in writing will be more concrete and serve as a tool that you can take to Suzanne or your other Christian friends to pray over with you.
I am trying to heal. I am learning to be me. All my life I have lived to support others, to convince them they’re good, and to help them pick up the slack in their own lives. All the while, I was suffering and didn’t know it. Though what I say may seem harsh or judgmental, it is merely an acknowledgement of the truth for the sake of moving on.
I have been caring for all of your needs since I was a little girl. Somehow, in your brokenness, you required such a sacrifice of me. And if the burden of carrying your life on my shoulders wasn’t enough, when my choices didn’t not coincide with yours there came the attack. I will no longer take responsibility for your every rise and fall.
I have unfortunately heard messages from you my whole life that no daughter should ever hear from her mother. Perhaps it was a disease talking, but I have every right to remove myself from the path of your words. I will no longer accept your messages. I know now that they are more a reflection of how you feel about yourself. I do not wish to hear an apology. I have heard them enough that now I just want follow through. I also hope that you learn to admit honesty how you see yourself and how you have projected that onto me.
I will no longer be your punching bag. I am not your failed child just because I don’t do what you want. I am not a tease, a slut, bound to be hurt, or your greatest disappointment. I won’t allow you to guilt me for taking care of myself, or twist my choices so they somehow become a personal attack on you. I cannot allow you to treat me like this anymore.
I do not discount what you’ve been through. You were a broken and scared little girl just like I was. I know you hate yourself. Unless you deal with that root, you will continue to respond to me as you always have. However, now one thing has changed: I won’t take it.
I do not blame you for all my problems. I made my choices just like you make yours. But I do expect you to take responsibility for those choices. This means you actively seek to overcome the brokenness and not just apologize and excuse away the rages. Until you do this, it is unsafe for me to
