L
LittleBit1987
Guest
Some people Understand what pain feels like, others only know to a certain degree what pain is. Until you have lost loved ones, or know someone who committed suicide, or feel like your whole world is crashing down all around you... you don't really know what pain is. I have lost many loved ones this year, and sadly the year isn't even over yet. I am only 27 and yet I have gone through the most horrific emotional pain, and physical pain, and spiritual pain I have ever felt.
First off, I have lost my grandmother, a very close family friend, and my father this year. All within like 6-7 months of each other. And just yesterday my husbands grandmother lost her sister to heart cancer. I have been so strong for both me and my husband and my brother... but sometimes you just cant take it anymore. I'm not saying I "give up" on life, I am just saying I pretty much just "throw in the towel" and give it all to God. He has been my constant companion throughout this year, been the very thing I need when my emotions take over.. Since I lost my dad to heart surgery failure, God has always been with me, and this year is my first Christmas without him, I am kinda scared but... God is with me and always has been.
The pain I have felt this year has been... unbearable... to say the least. Nothing like unexpectedly losing your own father whom you were trying to reconnect with, but My brother and I have actually gotten closer since our dad passed away, and that's because we only have each other now. And our mother... well lets just say that God will deal with her when her time comes, and I don't want any part of her life.
My husband has been dealing with severe depression, and there's nothing like knowing the enemy is trying to destroy your marriage when your husband doesn't even want to get intimate with his own wife. Not trying to sound so negative, but this year has been the hardest on me and my family. Mostly me, cause I have the biggest dumbest heart, and i just want to love on everyone and get hurt in the process. Not saying I have had the worst life to live, just that God has given me the strength I have needed to get through even the hardest days, and I praise him all the time for the family I still have, and my friends.
God has shown me in many other ways how blessed I am, and that he is here for me always. He talks to me in my songs, he talks to me during worship, and he talks to me while I'm working. I don't get offended if someone doesn't like me, I don't let anger take over my emotions, and most importantly, I love with all my heart. I try to show God to others who are suffering, he wants me to be a light to others, and when they don't let me do what God says, He gives me other ways to show his love.... Even when I least expect it.
I guess knowing what real pain is, helps me to help others who are suffering with pain. To be a light to other's who need to hear about God's love, who he is... and what he is capable of doing. I love my family, I love my friends, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do, to show God's love...
First off, I have lost my grandmother, a very close family friend, and my father this year. All within like 6-7 months of each other. And just yesterday my husbands grandmother lost her sister to heart cancer. I have been so strong for both me and my husband and my brother... but sometimes you just cant take it anymore. I'm not saying I "give up" on life, I am just saying I pretty much just "throw in the towel" and give it all to God. He has been my constant companion throughout this year, been the very thing I need when my emotions take over.. Since I lost my dad to heart surgery failure, God has always been with me, and this year is my first Christmas without him, I am kinda scared but... God is with me and always has been.
The pain I have felt this year has been... unbearable... to say the least. Nothing like unexpectedly losing your own father whom you were trying to reconnect with, but My brother and I have actually gotten closer since our dad passed away, and that's because we only have each other now. And our mother... well lets just say that God will deal with her when her time comes, and I don't want any part of her life.
My husband has been dealing with severe depression, and there's nothing like knowing the enemy is trying to destroy your marriage when your husband doesn't even want to get intimate with his own wife. Not trying to sound so negative, but this year has been the hardest on me and my family. Mostly me, cause I have the biggest dumbest heart, and i just want to love on everyone and get hurt in the process. Not saying I have had the worst life to live, just that God has given me the strength I have needed to get through even the hardest days, and I praise him all the time for the family I still have, and my friends.
God has shown me in many other ways how blessed I am, and that he is here for me always. He talks to me in my songs, he talks to me during worship, and he talks to me while I'm working. I don't get offended if someone doesn't like me, I don't let anger take over my emotions, and most importantly, I love with all my heart. I try to show God to others who are suffering, he wants me to be a light to others, and when they don't let me do what God says, He gives me other ways to show his love.... Even when I least expect it.
I guess knowing what real pain is, helps me to help others who are suffering with pain. To be a light to other's who need to hear about God's love, who he is... and what he is capable of doing. I love my family, I love my friends, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do, to show God's love...
God bless..