Recommendations for Improving Small Groups

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JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,493
2,152
113
#21
Since the year I was saved, 35 years ago, I'm often very sorry that people have to present their homes as perfect before they can host a small group meeting. I suppose it's because people are afraid of being judged. I find that unfortunate because hosts are rare. Homes in various states of messy are normal, and it's not unheard of in our churches to experience people judging one another and even gossiping about one another. I go out of my way to honor hosts and encourage them to not feel driven to perfection, because I want them to enjoy hosting and not feel burdened by it. I've experienced out-of-control small groups, and that wasn't too much of a challenge: the group in addition to the leader handled that well and with grace. What I really wish were happening is encouragement from the pulpit for participating in small groups, as there are people in the congregation who need it and need the intimacy of it, and need a way to start forging friendships, which to me doesn't happen in the before-Sunday-go-to-meeting and the after Sunday go to meeting parts of the church's ministry on Sundays. I myself strongly feel those needs, as I'm 75, single (Divorced at 60 and not at all used to it), and still fairly new to my present church. I know from experience that I'm not the only one with those desires. My former wife and I hosted meetings, and I've led meetings in church and other homes, but I don't think I can host a meeting now because my house is only 800 sq ft. What can I do to help encourage the people I congregate with to actually actually realize that they want/would value small group fellowship? Should I approach my pastor about it? About pastors, I worry a bit that they're already overburdened with the congregation's wants and needs.
Meeting at someone's home is fine if you are all friends beforehand...
But small groups are supposed to be open and inviting of strangers....
And a home is way too intimate of a setting. If I don't know you I'm not coming to your house.

I like coffee shops, donut shops, bread shops and etc. Nice and inexpensive and less formal or too much intimacy demanded.
 
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Locoponydirtman

Guest
#22
Another example might be expanding the small group, planting new churches, and then carrying on from there. If a small group remains a small group then you have problem.
If you are in America there is a church every 5 blocks. Maybe support one of the umpteen dozen churches in your area. Im not sure why a small group must grow, it probably will.if you are consistent in your meeting times amd places, and those attending have a sense of purpose for going.
 
Jan 4, 2023
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#23
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Meeting at someone's home is fine if you are all friends beforehand...
But small groups are supposed to be open and inviting of strangers....
And a home is way too intimate of a setting. If I don't know you I'm not coming to your house.

I like coffee shops, donut shops, bread shops and etc. Nice and inexpensive and less formal or too much intimacy demanded.
I I don't want to try to convince anyone who doesn't want to be convinced, that would be pushy, or cruel. People who attended the groups I attended were not friends beforehand, and almost without exception were blessed by what happens in such small groups. There is a "small group dynamic" that allows ppl to open up and lets them be known to mere acquaintances, who subsequently become friends. I think we have an instinct to form familial groups, it facilitates the meetings. To be known is a foundational human need, but proving that takes too much proving.
To me, a small group fomed by friends is exclusive, and because I'm not of them, it's a clique. A group like that would not invite non-friends to join in on the blessings they gain from their intimacy. A group formed for the purpose of uniting mere aquaintences "is* welcoming to others, I don't relate to the idea that it can't be, and yes it does take time for newbies to assimilate, but it's a loving process.. It's not at all like joining the Elk's Club, or a worldly In Crowd. I certainly do understand many peoples' reluctance to approach a group that has already achieved a measure of it, it's valid to be hesitant or afraid, because that's the human condition. I own that fear, it used to rule me, but it's much smaller now. One group that I shared "leading" met in a 12' x 16' library meeting room, and after a few months of weekly meeting began to be well known to each other, sharing each others burdens and joys as we felt comfortable to do, and that is just as intimate as a home meeting. But I'm not here to threaten or convince anyone, my question was about how to be inviting, to ppl who might like to share their lives. Those who don't are just as acceptable, we are all in Christ.
 

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2013
1,987
371
83
#24
One of the best ways to keep people interested in a small group is give them ownership of it. Each week ask someone to be responsible for the next one and they can do anything as they feel led by the Spirit. In one group where the leader hogged the limelight, he was away one week so we had to take over. I took the opportunity to ask about having a meal together. They all agreed and it turned out to be the best meeting we had ever had. No one wanted to go home.

In another group which I had initiated and which met monthly on a Saturday evening, I asked everyone to host an evening and the host could choose what we did. It was a roaring success and everyone attending loved it.

A sure way to turn people off is make the small group a mini church service.