Recovering Addicts Board

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J

JMans1187

Guest
#1
Im Jillian and I am a recovering drug addict! I would love to be involved with people world wide who have gone through the same trials and temptations as I have, no matter what the addiction was/may be! I would love to share my story and help others get back on track, and have a group to support eachother! I attend Celebrate Recovery every Friday night, but would love for my family to grow beyond that! Thank you!
 
J

jaywoooo

Guest
#2
Welcome, I as well am in recovery. When I was HEAVY in my addiction I found any means necessary to live and use that lifestyle.....


Now I NEED to practice three fellowships ( Christianity, N/A, and A/A) to learn about my disease, myself and how to live each day the BEST way I can so I can get in the book of life. Because of this I look forward to each new day instead of the rest of my life....BECAUSE TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED!

THROUGH CHRIST I CAN! I CAN THROUGH CHRIST !

AMEN :)
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#3
well first,addiction is NOT a disease,it is a spirit.prayer will help.I was an addict too,and found compleat deliverance through our Lord snd Saviour Jesus Christ.however it seems a good idea to have a room for us,to help with issues that arise for many when times are hard or they are depresssed,since that is when they are weakest against satan's attacks.I would visit such a room to help guide and to offer prayer/counsel to anyone needing it.remember that god's medicine is perfect-once you are healed thats it-no side affects.relapse is the fault of the addict,but some are just not so strong yet against satan'sdarts.no,i'm not talking down at you or anything of that sort,just being real.
 
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JMans1187

Guest
#4
Thank you for agreeing with me! I havent had the urge to relapse yet, but part of it has to do with the fact Im pregnant! I will not do anything to harm my child, as I didnt with either of my other two! But after the birth, I might not be strong enough alone to face the temptations! That is why I want a support team! Brothers and Sisters to fall back on! I love my family at Clebrate Recovery, but it doesnt stop there! Thanks again for the replies!
 
J

jaywoooo

Guest
#5
dis·ease   [dih-zeez] Show IPA noun, verb,-eased, -eas·ing.
–noun
1.
a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment.
2.
any abnormal condition in a plant that interferes with its vital physiological processes, caused by pathogenic microorganisms, parasites, unfavorable environmental, genetic, or nutritional factors, etc.
3.
any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society: His fascination with executions is a disease.
4.
decomposition of a material under special circumstances: tin disease.


Maybe it's just me, but I tried to do it on my own......Without faith and trust in God my recovery wouldn't be possible, BUT I HAD TO DO THE FOOTWORK. I found God but I also needed to find out why I kept going back out. I needed a better understanding about the DISEASE OF ADDICTION and how it affected me in my daily life. I know that I will ALWAYS BE AN ADDICT, but I don't have to conform to the devils ways. As of today I have 13 months and 10 days of living clean and sober. Each person needs to find there own way to rise above this, but the crazy thing is God is always right by our side to guide us through this journey. We just have to participate :)
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#6
addiction can be physiological-that is true-but it depends on what drug also-heroine is a physiological addiction as well as some other opiates and barbituates-meth,for example is not a physiological need it is mental.and you are also correct in that God HAS to be part of the solution.
thank you Jay,for the definition. you will not be an addict ALWAYS,as I am proof- I have no want or need and it's been 2 years for me clean.
unfortunately,some believe "once an addict always an addict". Just from my experience,I happen to believe it's not true.But this doesn't de-validate another's opinion-We all have one. Thats one of the beauties of creation. God made us the same a in "in His image",buT at the same time made us all unique,too PRAISE GOD!....
And it Did take God to heal me ,too...THANK YOU GOD,for sending YOUR SON JESUS,to shed His blood so I ccould be free of that past,only having to choose to.
No Chains,No Strings,No Fences,No Walls!!!
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#7
Note that in the definition it doesn't mention Phsycological-
 
J

jaywoooo

Guest
#8
WHO IS AN ADDICT?

Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. WE KNOW! Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another, the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions and death.

Those of us who have found the program of Narcotics Anonymous do not have to think twice about the question: Who is an addict? We know! The following is our experience.
As addicts, we are people whose use of any mind-altering, mood-changing substance causes a problem in any area of life. Addiction is a disease which involves more than simple drug use. Some of us believe that our disease was present long before the first time we used.

Most of us did not consider ourselves addicted before coming to the Narcotics Anonymous program. The information available to us came from misinformed people. As long as we could stop using for a while, we thought we were all right. We looked at the stopping, not the using. As our addiction progressed, we thought of stopping less and less. Only in desperation did we ask ourselves, "Could it be the drugs"?

We did not choose to become addicts. We suffer from a disease which expresses itself in ways that are anti-social and make detection, diagnosis and treatment difficult.

Our disease isolated us from people except for the getting, using and finding ways and means to get more. Hostile, resentful, self-centered and self-seeking, we cut ourselves off from the outside world. Anything not completely familiar became alien and dangerous. Our world shrank and isolation became our life. We used in order to survive. It was the only way of life we knew.

Some of us used, misused and abused drugs and still never considered ourselves addicts. Through all of this, we kept telling ourselves, "I can handle it". Our misconceptions about the nature of addiction conjured up visions of violence, street crime, dirty needles and jail.

When our addiction was treated as a crime or moral deficiency, we became rebellious and were driven deeper into isolation. Some of the highs felt great, but eventually the things we had to do in order to support our using reflected desperation. We were caught in the grip of our disease. We were forced to survive any way we could. We manipulated people and tried to control everything around us. We lied, stole, cheated and sold ourselves. We had to have drugs, regardless of the cost. Failure and fear began to invade our lives.

One aspect of our addiction was our inability to deal with life on its terms. We tried drugs and combinations of drugs in an effort to cope with a seemingly hostile world. We dreamed of finding a magic formula that would solve our ultimate problem - ourselves. The fact was that we could not successfully use any mind-altering or mood-changing substance, including marijuana and alcohol. Drugs ceased to make us feel good.

At times, we were defensive about our addiction and justified our right to use, especially when we had "legal prescriptions". We were proud of the sometimes illegal and often bizarre behavior that typified our using. We "forgot" the times we sat alone consumed by fear and self-pity. We fell into a pattern of selective thinking. We only remembered the "good" drug experiences. We justified and rationalized the things we had to do to keep from being sick or going crazy. We ignored the times when life seemed to be a nightmare. We avoided the reality of our addiction.

Higher mental and emotional functions, such as conscience and the ability to love, were sharply affected by our use of drugs. Living skills were reduced to the animal level. Our spirit was broken. The capacity to feel human was lost. This seems extreme, but many of us have been in this state.

We were constantly searching for "the answer" -that person, place or thing that would make everything all right. We lacked the ability to cope with daily living. As our addiction caught up with us, many of us found ourselves in and out of institutions.

These experiences indicated there was something wrong with our lives. We wanted an easy way out and some of us thought of suicide. Our attempts were usually feeble, and only helped to contribute to our feelings of worthlessness. We were trapped in the illusion of "what if", "if only" and "just one more time". When we did seek help, we were really only looking for the absence of pain.

We have regained good physical health many times, only to lose it by using again. Our track record shows that it is impossible for us to use successfully. No matter how well we may appear to be in control, using drugs always brings us to our knees.

Like other incurable diseases, addiction can be arrested. We agree that there is nothing shameful about being an addict, provided we accept our dilemma honestly and take positive action. We are willing to admit without reservation that we are allergic to drugs. Common sense tells us that it would be insane to go back to the source of our allergy. Our experience indicates that medicine cannot "cure" our illness.

Although physical and mental tolerance play a role, many drugs require no extended period of use to trigger allergic reactions. Our reaction is what makes us addicts, not how much we use.

Many of us did not think we had a problem until the drugs ran out. Even when others told us we had a problem, we were convinced that we were right and the world was wrong. We used this belief to justify our self-destructive behavior. We developed a point of view that enabled us to pursue our addiction without concern for our own well-being or that of others. We began to feel the drugs were killing us long before we could ever admit it to anyone else. We noticed that if we tried to stop using, we couldn't. We suspected we had lost control over the drugs and had no power to stop.

Certain things followed as we continued to use. We became accustomed to a state of mind common to addicts. We forgot what it was like before we started using; we forgot the social graces. We acquired strange habits and mannerisms. We forgot how to work; we forgot how to play; we forgot how to express ourselves and show concern for others. We forgot how to feel.

While using, we lived in another world. We experienced only periodic jolts of reality or self-awareness. It seemed we were at last two people instead of one, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. We ran around trying to get our lives together before our next run. Sometimes we could do this very well, but later, it was less important and more impossible. In the end, Dr. Jekyll died and Mr. Hyde took over.

Each of us has a few things we can say we never did. We cannot let these things become excuses to use again. Some of us feel lonely because of differences between us and other members, and this makes it difficult to give up old connections and old habits.

We all have different tolerances for pain. Some addicts needed to go to greater extremes than others. Some of us found we had had enough when we realized that we were getting high too often and it was affecting our daily lives.

At first, we were using in a manner which seemed to be social or at least controllable with little indication of the disaster which the future held for us. At some point, our using became uncontrollable and antisocial. This began when things were going well and we were in situations that allowed us to use frequently. This was usually the end of the good times. We may have tried to moderate, substitute, or even stop using, but we went from a state of drugged success and well-being to complete spiritual, mental and emotional bankruptcy. This rate of decline varies from addict to addict. Whether it is years or days, it is all downhill. Those of us who don't die from the disease will go on to prison, mental institutions or complete demoralization as the disease progresses.

Drugs had given us the feeling that we could handle whatever situation might develop. We became aware, however, that drugs were largely responsible for having gotten us into our very worst predicaments. Some of us may spend the rest of our lives in jail for a drug-related crime or a crime committed while using.

We had to reach our bottom before we became willing to stop. We were much more motivated to seek help in the latter stage of our addiction. It was easier for us to see the destruction, disaster and delusion of our using. It was harder to deny our addiction when problems were staring us in the face.

Some of us first saw the effects of addiction on the people with whom we were close. We were very dependent on them to carry us emotionally through life. We felt angry, disappointed and hurt when they had other interests, friends and loved ones. We regretted the past, dreaded the future, and we weren't too thrilled about the present. After years of searching, we were more unhappy and less satisfied than when it all began.

Our addiction had enslaved us. We were prisoners of our own mind, condemned by our own guilt. We had given up ever stopping. Our attempts to stay clean had always failed, causing us pain and misery.

As addicts, we have an incurable disease called addiction which is chronic, progressive and fatal. However, it is a treatable disease. We feel that each individual alone has to answer the question, "Am I an addict?" How we got the disease is of no immediate importance to us. We are concerned with recovery.

We begin to treat our addiction by not using. Many of us sought answers but failed to find any workable solution until we found each other. Once we identify ourselves as addicts, help becomes possible. We can see a little of ourselves in every addict and a little bit of them in us. This insight lets us help one another. Our futures seemed hopeless until we found clean addicts who were willing to share with us. Denial of our addiction was what had kept us sick, and our honest admission enabled us to stop using. The people of Narcotics Anonymous told us that they were recovering addicts who had learned to live without drugs. If they could do it, so could we.

The only alternatives to recovery are jails, institutions, dereliction and death. Unfortunately, our disease makes us deny our addiction. If you are an addict, you too can find a new way of life through the N.A. program that would not otherwise be possible. We have become very grateful in the course of our recovery. Our lives have become useful, through abstinence and by working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous.

We realize that we are never cured and carry the disease within us all our lives. We have a disease from which we do recover. Each day we are given another chance. We are convinced that there is only one way for us to live, and that is the N.A. way.
 
G

godsbluesman

Guest
#9
You all seem to be claimin that this is a disease----this isn't a disease---this is a choice----not a virus or genetic defect!!
 
J

jaywoooo

Guest
#10
My program suggests that I practice Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. I know first hand that being close-minded has caused me and many others to relapse. I also know that some things aren't for everybody. I also know that I can let people be who they are. With that I bid you good luck on your journey of recovery, but IF you do relapse the rooms will ALWAYS be open for newcomers :)
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#11
I am also open-minded-I don't mean to sound closed minded.and I am perfectly willing to give councel or just talk-it's just this term "disease" that gets me a little.I just don't agree with that label. please dont misunderstand my intentions,ok? I am also an ex addict was on meth for years.also percoset and oxy. I know where every one of you is at now,and I don't pass judgement-I was no different yhan any of you.once again,it's just the label you give yourselves.Gods healing is not a 12 step program to me but it is a ONE step program. I care for all and apologize for offending anyone-i think,though,that maybe you are also closed-minded too.:)
feel free to pm me if you see me in the rooms!:) I'm always willing to talk or ? Bill...
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#12
PS: I'm usually in the rooms Very late,as this is the one habit that did not leave me-being that I pefer to be up at night and mostly sleep in the daytime---lol-luckily my job is at night,kinda made it that way on pourpose-lol!
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#13
Im Jillian and I am a recovering drug addict! I would love to be involved with people world wide who have gone through the same trials and temptations as I have, no matter what the addiction was/may be! I would love to share my story and help others get back on track, and have a group to support eachother! I attend Celebrate Recovery every Friday night, but would love for my family to grow beyond that! Thank you!
congratulations on your sobriety! One cool thing about this is you being pregnant and at the same tome extending your family in christ!!!I hope to see you in the chatrooms-feel free to pm anytime-usually im in the biblestudy room very late at nite/early in the morning
 
J

JMans1187

Guest
#14
Thank you guys for taking such an interest in this topic! I have enjoyed reading your debate on the matter! I do not belive addiction is a disease, I believe it is a choice! It starts as a choice and becomes a mental problem! I was smoking crack for a while there and decided to quit a few times, but CHOSE to start up again! It wasnt until the cycle ran it's course and I hit rock bottom til I decided it was time to quit for good! I still think about how nice it would be to snort a Roxy once in awhile, but remember where 'Roxanne' put me before and what it did to my family, and that Im now pregnant! I abandoned my kids for drugs! When I lost them, I wasn't a drug addict! But I wanted a way to forget the pain I felt every minute of everyday cause they were all I thought about! I tried Meth, lost 20 pounds got discusted with myself and quit, went to being a pill head which was my drug of choice, ecspecially Roxys! Then at another low time in my life a friend of my bf and I's offered us some crack to try! We decided to try it and quit after a week! We spent over $3,000 in less than 2 months on it! All of my bf's college grant! Then worked for the dealer, or made money for it! Never did i get bad enough to steal from other people! The end was when I stole 5 pills from my bf during a time we were seperated! He quit right away, and I quit 2 weeks later with his help, encouragement, and forgiveness! Now I have a stronger supporter, God!! My bf does not, so he falls weak at times, not to drugs but to drinking! It's his replacement! I love talking to others about the things I've over come,and how God help me over them! And I love hearing other peoples stories too!
Now I have to go to bed, I am still a night owl too! I struggle with falling asleep before at least 1am! But gotta get up early and drive! Have a great night guys! Thank you again!

~♥~Jillian~♥~
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#16
Thank you guys for taking such an interest in this topic! I have enjoyed reading your debate on the matter! I do not belive addiction is a disease, I believe it is a choice! It starts as a choice and becomes a mental problem! I was smoking crack for a while there and decided to quit a few times, but CHOSE to start up again! It wasnt until the cycle ran it's course and I hit rock bottom til I decided it was time to quit for good! I still think about how nice it would be to snort a Roxy once in awhile, but remember where 'Roxanne' put me before and what it did to my family, and that Im now pregnant! I abandoned my kids for drugs! When I lost them, I wasn't a drug addict! But I wanted a way to forget the pain I felt every minute of everyday cause they were all I thought about! I tried Meth, lost 20 pounds got discusted with myself and quit, went to being a pill head which was my drug of choice, ecspecially Roxys! Then at another low time in my life a friend of my bf and I's offered us some crack to try! We decided to try it and quit after a week! We spent over $3,000 in less than 2 months on it! All of my bf's college grant! Then worked for the dealer, or made money for it! Never did i get bad enough to steal from other people! The end was when I stole 5 pills from my bf during a time we were seperated! He quit right away, and I quit 2 weeks later with his help, encouragement, and forgiveness! Now I have a stronger supporter, God!! My bf does not, so he falls weak at times, not to drugs but to drinking! It's his replacement! I love talking to others about the things I've over come,and how God help me over them! And I love hearing other peoples stories too!
Now I have to go to bed, I am still a night owl too! I struggle with falling asleep before at least 1am! But gotta get up early and drive! Have a great night guys! Thank you again!

~♥~Jillian~♥~
yeah,crack is some bad stuff-my ex gf got into it and it ruined aour relationship-funny thing is I was into meth at the time; go figure that one out lol
 
J

JMans1187

Guest
#17
Yeah it destroyed me and my boyfriend! But we decided to get clean together! Took me 2 weeks of still smoking before i quit, but he stood beside me the whole time! I didnt do it, or talk about it in front of him, but he knew! Now we're happier than we were before drugs, cause we've been able to overcome something so huge together! Just as we're getting clean, I get a postive read on the Pregnancy test! This baby was a bit of an "Oh Crap!" for him, at first, but now he finally see's it as a blessing! Well, if it's a boy that is! He's scared it'll be a girl! He knows this child wil be the reason he wants to stay clean, to help him grow up alittle! We are going to counsiling every week for our relationship, to prepare for baby, and to stay clean! The curriculim is called Basic Decision Making and it's for him or her! It's helped him so much since he started going with me!
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#18
Yeah it destroyed me and my boyfriend! But we decided to get clean together! Took me 2 weeks of still smoking before i quit, but he stood beside me the whole time! I didnt do it, or talk about it in front of him, but he knew! Now we're happier than we were before drugs, cause we've been able to overcome something so huge together! Just as we're getting clean, I get a postive read on the Pregnancy test! This baby was a bit of an "Oh Crap!" for him, at first, but now he finally see's it as a blessing! Well, if it's a boy that is! He's scared it'll be a girl! He knows this child wil be the reason he wants to stay clean, to help him grow up alittle! We are going to counsiling every week for our relationship, to prepare for baby, and to stay clean! The curriculim is called Basic Decision Making and it's for him or her! It's helped him so much since he started going with me!
it's good to hear you are doing well-keep up the good work.if you or your bf need to comunicate with me im here for you both. i'll send a chatmail with my email adress
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#19
Im Jillian and I am a recovering drug addict! I would love to be involved with people world wide who have gone through the same trials and temptations as I have, no matter what the addiction was/may be! I would love to share my story and help others get back on track, and have a group to support eachother! I attend Celebrate Recovery every Friday night, but would love for my family to grow beyond that! Thank you!
First let me start by saying Praise GOD !!! God has also took me out of that life !
and so much more.... Lets Give HIM all our praise !