relationships and wisdom

[Crimeny]

so at my youth group last wednesday, they were talking about relationships from high-school dating to older people relationships, and i thought it was pretty neat and i am just wondering how other people feel about the following wisdom in my opinion:

in order to have a strong relationship, you gotta go after God first, because if you do not have the proper relationship with God and Jesus you will not have a great relationship with other people besides all love comes from God!!!!

additionally, one thing that some of the speakers said they found is that they found themselves to be really selfish in the relationship and that in order for those relationships to work, they gotta sacrifice themselves more (example is when your beloved wants to go out or wants to do something fun with you like a movie or videogame night or whatever and you just feel bad because today was not the best, but you still sacrifice yourself)

also attraction =/= love, but the chemistry does help in making the relationship stronger

also they talked about the gift of celibacy which i am sure others here are enjoying and find nice, and that its not a curse to be a single and you are sort of are more free in the sense that you do not have to commit to one person but you can just commit to God and live life. However you gotta make sure that Jesus and God are your everything so you ask God and Jesus and you just max out your relationship with Jesus because if not then obviously God has planned a little something something for you. Otherwise yeah celibacy can lead to friendships all over and your love may grow to encompass a lot in both relationships and celibacy so just follow God!

 

[dothackzero]

Here's something else...

You can still be in love with a girl without feeling in love with her. Very important after marrage.

 

[Crimeny]

i dont understand, feeling in love is like attraction right, because the way i feel love is more like a choice and just compassion for people

 

[mystdancer50]

This is 100% true. God has to be first in your life. If He isn't, you will definitely have a hard time in marriage. One thing is that if He isn't first now, He won't be first once you're married...and if He isn't first now, how will you know His will for your life? You may choose to marry the first one that asks...but if you're totally committed to God, you will wait and seek and be sure that the one you marry is the one God has for you. Also, being committed and in love with Jesus Christ while you're single is the only way (I've found) that you can be content to be single AND celebate. A lot of people can handle being single...so long as they can still have sex. God calls the single followers to be celebate, which is a defining difference. The only way strength like this comes is through Christ. I'm not saying it's impossible to do without Him, but it is a great deal harder.

Love and attraction are different things. For one thing, you can be really annoyed with someone and still love them, but if you're just attracted to someone and they annoy you, you can walk away without a single care. It is important to realize that love goes beyond 'feelings' and attraction, as you said, because in marriage, there will be times when you don't 'feel' like you are in love...but you just keep going...love only gets deeper as you allow it to grow, like the roots of a tree. You can't see the roots, but deeper they go.

 

[Crimeny]

oh ya in regards to marriage it was like this:

God first, wife second, kids third (what the speaker said) in terms of loving and relationships



which contrasts what the world says kids, wife then God (interesting).

 

[mystdancer50]

Yes. God first, Spouse second...absolutely correct. A great deal of marriages have problems because, though they may keep God first, they will choose the children over the spouse. God's intention for marriage is that the two become one flesh. Children are a blessing. However, if a husband and wife allow the children to rule the house, they become a stressor in the marriage. God first, spouse second, children third.


I have a page on Facebook of a group I've started called Purity, God's Way. Eventually, I will deal with issues like this. It is so vital that we are prepared for marriage and all that it entails and God desires.

 

[Jullianna]

We can't know how to love rightly without knowing God's love, can we? We can know lust, infatuation, attraction, etc., but the kind of love that lasts a lifetime is a God thing.