Samples of my Book (Shades of War)

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TaylorRomans

Guest
#1
#1
This a book im writeing im posting parts a peices for you all to read and commet on so i can get atleast one chapter done.

Rules:
1. Read
2. Please dont burn me and just shut me down for bad writein
3. this is about pg-13 ratein if this is a movie so kids watch it carefully
4. please have fun and commet and help out


Chapter 1
Sadden Birthday​


Zack was walking down the hall of his school, Gordon Octavian Denvelance Middle School (G.O.D.M.S.). Zack was sadden today for in 1 day is his birthday and in 32 hours from 6:00 A.M. today his mother would die according to his mom’s doctor. One of his friends Jessillena who had long blond flowing hair and a blue skirt with a white long sleeve shirt on asked,

“What is wrong are you? Your almost 14, you should be happy.” said Jessillena in her high pitched voice.

“Well I would be happy Jessie , but in 32 and a ½ hours my mom will be dead and I will be shipped to Forever-life City to live with my Uncle Leo and he just got out of jail for things that I don’t know of.” said Zack in his tenor voice. Zack was wearing jeans and a black jacket and had a cut on his arm. Jessillena started to talk again but the bell rang so she walked off to her class.

The bell rang dismissing the students from their classes. Zack slowly walked out the door. As Zack reached the side walk the principle , Mr. Paige called him back into the School to meet in his office.

“Can we get this over with Mr. Paige? I have to go see my mother you know that.” said Zack upset

“You can in a little. I know your mother is going to die in about a day and few hours and the teachers and I got students to sign a card and give money for you. Here is the card and 120 dollars.” , said Mr. Paige wearing a plaid tie and a suit handing Zack the cash and the card. Zack took it and starte d to cry overwhelmed by it all.
 
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TaylorRomans

Guest
#2
#2
If you want to be one of my Characters Please PM me. Not eeryone will be accepted

Caracter to be or already in Book from CC:

CC NAME INBOOK Name

TaylorRomans Zack
Jessie_Devin Jessillena
LynnJ Silvia
Paige Mr. Paige
Nate13 Nash
 
C

Carljoe0789

Guest
#3
#3
sounds good so far dude
 
T

TaylorRomans

Guest
#4
#4
Im going to repost the entie chapter with the continues part:

Chapter 1
Sadden Birthday

​
Zack was walking down the hall of his school, Gordon Octavian Denvelance Middle School (G.O.D.M.S.). Zack was sadden today for in 1 day is his birthday and in 32 hours from 6:00 A.M. today his mother would die according to his mom’s doctor. One of his friends Jessillena who had long blond flowing hair and a blue skirt with a white long sleeve shirt on asked,

“What is wrong are you? Your almost 14, you should be happy.” said Jessillena in her high pitched voice.

“Well I would be happy Jessie , but in 32 and a ½ hours my mom will be dead and I will be shipped to Forever-life City to live with my Uncle Leo and he just got out of jail for things that I don’t know of.” said Zack in his tenor voice. Zack was wearing jeans and a black jacket and had a cut on his arm. Jessillena started to talk again but the bell rang so she walked off to her class.

The bell rang dismissing the students from their classes. Zack slowly walked out the door. As Zack reached the side walk the principle , Mr. Paige called him back into the School to meet in his office.

“Can we get this over with Mr. Paige? I have to go see my mother you know that.” said Zack upset

“You can in a little. I know your mother is going to die in about a day and a quarter of a day and the teachers and I got students to sign a card and give money for you. Here is the card and 120 dollars.” said Mr. Paige wearing a plaid tie and a suit handing Zack the cash and the card. Zack took it and started to cry overwhelmed by it all. Mr. Paige dropped Zack off at the Jonathan Omega National Hospital and seen him off for the last time.

“If you ever need me come back and see me ok.” said Mr. Paige waving bye. Zack shook his head and headed into the hospital.

Zack walked down the hall and got onto the elevators and rode it to the 11th floor and went into room 1101 where his mother was. Zack walked in and say the doctor holding his mothers wrist as Nurses stood around and the machines going out of control. Zack started to ask whats going on the doctor pushed him out and took the nurses and his mother to emergency room. Zack screams for his mother,

“MOM! MOM!” but no one would stop and listen. Zack tried to fallow but two security guards took him to the front door and threw him out for yelling during non-visiting hours in hospital. Zack went to the payphones not far from the hospital and dialed Mr. Paige’s number.

“Hello.” said Mr. Paige

“HELLO! Mr. PAIGE!” Mr. PAIGE!” I JUST GOT THROWN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL MY MOM IS BEING TAKEN INTO THE EMERGENCY ROOM!” yelled Zack

“I’m sorry I cant answer the phone right now please leave a name, message after the beep.” continues Mr. Paige’s message machine. Zack Hanged up and then slid down the homebirths post and starts crying as a flash of lightning goes off and thunder claps. It started pouring. Zack cried his heart out and started yelling at the sky,

“GOD! WHY, WHY DID YOU LET MY MOTHER COME TO HEAVEN! I PRAYED TO YOU AND YOU SAID YOU WOULD AWNSER! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT PROMISE! WHY ARE YOU TRICKING ME WITH YOUR WORD!” Zack took out his bible and threw it in a puddle and continues to sulk in his time of need and copping with the stress he is about to endure.


(CHAPTER 2 comeing soon)
 
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Carljoe0789

Guest
#5
#5
awesomenesses
 
A

Aya

Guest
#6
#6
send me the book when its done:)
 
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