Seeking advice

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Aletrist

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I am 28, been married almost 3 years, and have 2 beautiful sons. I have never had anyone explain religion to me growing up, nothing more than you go to church praise the lord and live right. My husband is an abusive alcoholic. It didn't start it that way, the physical abuse started about a year ago. He had choked me to the point of losing consciousness several times, but the last time was 2 weeks ago. He was drunk, he choked me until I passed out, while I was out I felt like I was having a dream but watching what was going on in the room like a fly on the wall. I came to confused and he was waiting to choke me again. The next day he always asks to be forgiven, swears to never drink again, and I don't know what I am supposed to do. I pray for a change of heart and understanding. I have been physical with my husband as well while drinking, but it is out of fear and self defense. But i feel like there is no excuse for abuse. He is the one working, I have no friends any longer, no family to help, and I truly don't want to give up on my marriage. He is good when he doesn't drink, but the things he has said to me while drunk have stuck with me and I feel so worthless at times. Would the lord ever call me to leave my marriage? I am trying to read the bible, pray that I understand the way he needs me to, but I am not very knowledgeable, so I am seeking advice outside of the situation. Thank you for reading this.
 
The Bible says, 'Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church.' Look at his actions from that perspective. You are his church, his sanctuary. There must be something about himself that he is actually despising enough to want to kill. The two of you in God's eyes are one. You are one house. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
 
Hi Aletrist, you may need to repost this under the Christian Family Forum for more people to give you advice. If you are in bodily danger, and your husband is not seeking for help, it may be wise to live separately for now until he gets the help he needs. He seems to be having some internal problems, and is using alcohol to cope with it. When he isn't drunk, ask him why he feels the need to drink, what is he stressed about, what kind of problems is he facing?
 
MarvelousLight;bt16944 said:
Hi Aletrist, you may need to repost this under the Christian Family Forum for more people to give you advice. If you are in bodily danger, and your husband is not seeking for help, it may be wise to live separately for now until he gets the help he needs. He seems to be having some internal problems, and is using alcohol to cope with it. When he isn't drunk, ask him why he feels the need to drink, what is he stressed about, what kind of problems is he facing?
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YES - Pro_11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
 
Aletrist, I can empathize with you. At the age of 20, I too was married to an abusive drunk. I was not born again at that point and I did remove myself from that maraige. Your situation breaks my heart and is exactly why my fiance and I are wanting to open a home for abused women and children. I will absolutely pray for you and for God to guide and protect you and your children. MarvelousLight may have the best answer..... live separately in order to be safe until he can get some help. See if there is a safe house for women in your area. Again, my heart is heavy for you and I will be praying.
 
Your husband needs help and you and the children shouldn't be near him until he gets that help. God also gives us wisdom too.
Unfortunately , people with addictions can only get help when they have admitted they have a problem . There is no way you should stay there with your children while there is a threat on your life. I am not saying give up on him. You have to think about the welfare of you and your children first . Ideally God wants there to be unity in a marriage. That means both people doing what they ought to do . Frankly one of you is out of control and there are children . You need support, you need help and your husband should also get professional help and both of you need to meet together with marriage guidance counselors after he gets the help he needs professionally before you even think about bringing the children and you back into that situation.
 
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If the fellow is unwilling to seek help and move towards change then for your very life sake get out of there ... involve the police and have him apprehended.

He will eventually harm you and possibly kill you.

You are not leaving a marriage ... you are fleeing a death sentence!
 
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