Matt, some one who is near and dear to me was this way, no matter what he said, it seemed always to be heard wrong.
I was one of them who was hurt, and often puzzled as to why they always did this, even when they were trying to be funny or kind.
No need to go into a long story as to why and how it was realised, but one day all was understood with Jesus's help.
You see, this man did not love himself as called to in Jesus.
You see, when one does not love theirself as their neighbor, it shows in the words they speak, and the attitude of their heart.
Not that they hate, its just the love is not seen, because it is not held for their self.
It was amazing how the words and actions of this person, although not all that different, were seen so very different, once he loved himself as Jesus wanted him to.
Now I cannot say if this is what you are struggling with, I just wanted to share it in case it my help you.
For when one loves Jesus first, then one's self as Jesus wants one to, the love for their neighbor shines through and is seen, simply because the love of Jesus shines brightly in them.
note; the love spoken to here is not the worldly love, but the perfect love that Jesus has for you.
You continue in my prayers in Jesus name for all to be made perfect in Jesus.
God bless
pickles
