shud i compromise my dream?

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kessy001

Guest
#1
#1
i am 29 and engaged. i have been in a long distance relationship for 8yrs now. My fiance is presently at the verge of achieving his dream and as a result it would take another 3-4yrs before we can finally be together. i know he loves me alot and i do same. however i have my dream as well and a long distance relationship/marriage is NOT inclusive. the thought of starting over is almost unbearable, the thought of staying is scary. Am thorn between giving up the man i love and giving up my dream:(. i need to make an unsentimental decision ASAP!

Your advice would be well appreciated. thanks
 
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Evie1943

Guest
#2
#2
Kessy,
Your last line really summed it up, don't you think? "I need to make an unsentimenal decision ASAP!" It sounds like you have been so patient. Kessy, I'll be praying for you.
 
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libertygirl

Guest
#3
#3
One of you needs to move. Why can't you accomplish your dreams together?
 
Jon4TheCross

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
#4
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
7
38
#4
You will not regret reading the New Testament a few times before deciding to do this or that. Maybe you already have, but it is surely the one needful thing. My advice is to make sure the one needful thing is the one needful thing in your eyes as well as your fiance.

Luke 10: 39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus 'feet, and heard his word. 40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. 41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: 42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
� KJV

Always remember that you are a spirit, and if you really believe this guy is for you, then keep being patiently happy to serve the Lord in your circumstances.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#5
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#5
I've never understood people who think they want to be together with someone for life, yet are in a rush to somehow 'seal' the deal. If you can really see yourself in 50 years still with this person, then a 3 year wait for it isn't really that big a deal is it? My wife and I knew each other for 12 years before we marred. We dated, broke up, had other boy and girlfriends, but they came and went while we stayed friends. So when we did marry it wasn't a vow to stay together thru thick and thin, it was an acknowlegement of that's what's going to happen anyway even if we don't wed.

Not sure that speaks directly to your dream, but I hope it helps.
 
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kessy001

Guest
#6
#6
RickyZ said:
I've never understood people who think they want to be together with someone for life, yet are in a rush to somehow 'seal' the deal. If you can really see yourself in 50 years still with this person, then a 3 year wait for it isn't really that big a deal is it? My wife and I knew each other for 12 years before we marred. We dated, broke up, had other boy and girlfriends, but they came and went while we stayed friends. So when we did marry it wasn't a vow to stay together thru thick and thin, it was an acknowlegement of that's what's going to happen anyway even if we don't wed.

Not sure that speaks directly to your dream, but I hope it helps.
Click to expand...

hmmmmmm....not as easy as u think. its kinda complicated. but thanks for responding.
 
happyinhisway

happyinhisway

Banned
#7
May 29, 2012
46
0
0
#7
kessy001 said:
i am 29 and engaged. i have been in a long distance relationship for 8yrs now. My fiance is presently at the verge of achieving his dream and as a result it would take another 3-4yrs before we can finally be together. i know he loves me alot and i do same. however i have my dream as well and a long distance relationship/marriage is NOT inclusive. the thought of starting over is almost unbearable, the thought of staying is scary. Am thorn between giving up the man i love and giving up my dream:(. i need to make an unsentimental decision ASAP!

Your advice would be well appreciated. thanks
Click to expand...
Wait a munute here. You already have waited 8 years and you may have to wait 3 to 4 more years for his dream to be acomplish. All this time you havent been able to me married and together why? have you been working on your dream all this time, or is it something newly discovered and why can you dou it together as a married couple. If this sis the man your ment to be with then 3 to 4 years is a short time considering the 8 years that have already past. True LOVE will conquer all, the question is do you want to wait or must you move on with your life. Surge your heart for their lays the answer you seek. It also sounds that you already know what you need to do but you want to get some pros/ conds to your situation. but ultumately its your decition to make. PRAY BE FORE YOU ACK AND WAIT FOR THE ANSWER
 
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kessy001

Guest
#8
#8
happyinhisway said:
Wait a munute here. You already have waited 8 years and you may have to wait 3 to 4 more years for his dream to be acomplish. All this time you havent been able to me married and together why? have you been working on your dream all this time, or is it something newly discovered and why can you dou it together as a married couple. If this sis the man your ment to be with then 3 to 4 years is a short time considering the 8 years that have already past. True LOVE will conquer all, the question is do you want to wait or must you move on with your life. Surge your heart for their lays the answer you seek. It also sounds that you already know what you need to do but you want to get some pros/ conds to your situation. but ultumately its your decition to make. PRAY BE FORE YOU ACK AND WAIT FOR THE ANSWER
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the truth is we shud have been married long ago but issues keep coming up and plans keep changing. sometimes i feel all this unforeseen issues is God's way of preparing me for the future and also keeping me from making a mistake. for instance we planned getting married next month but something came up again and now we don't even know whats ahead. whats the guarantee plans wouldn't change again in 3yrs? Am lonely and am getting weary of waiting. yea, i have my dreams and am pursuing them.however am from the school of thot that marriage between 2 people living miles apart isn't marriage. my fiance n i live in totally different continents! i have been praying and right now i feel i need a break. but he keeps telling me loves me and all he is doing is to secure our future and that of our unborn children. i don't know what to do but am trusting God for clarity, because i want to do it His way alone.
 
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Wukong59

Guest
#9
#9
Take your heart before the Lord daily until God's peace calms your spirit and listen for his answer. You'll know his answer through a peace that breaks through the stress and possibly a unique touching of his spirit. Read some scriptures and write down your thoughts and prayers and answers. You'll find the confidence from the peace of knowing the direction that is right for you to carry on whatever the answer. Be sure to be active and take steps to see if the doors open or close for you in the direction given. God desires to bless those who trust in him. Lay your goals before him.
 
brokenheart69

brokenheart69

Banned
#10
Mar 17, 2012
49
0
0
#10
I have been married for a bit now. We really didnt know each other long b4 I knew he was the man 4 me. But I knew he had a great heart for LOVING JESUS, and thats what captured my heart. Do have to say hasen't been easy getting used 2 having to adap 2 him being around and all the changes I had to make to my life.The more time we spen together the more I fall in loe with him and the more he amases me. But 8 years sure seems life a long time. Love is a funny thing, but its more than enough to bring u 2 together. What is he waitting 4. I say seek ur dreams and make the best of ur self, for ur self, as GOD directs u.
 
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kessy001

Guest
#11
#11
Thank you so much. you all have been helpful.
 
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