*sigh* ...heavy heart

  • Thread starter Thread starter real_healthnut_90
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
R

real_healthnut_90

Guest
so....I'm still pretty new to this chat site. idk how it is for advice or anything really. i didnt know where to make a post, to, i guess, reach out. or whatever.

well, im 21, single. i could have been married 3 times now with 3 different guys. all serious relationships, but i guess, since im young, all foolish decisions. whatever. live and learn right?

well the last relationship really got to me. i mean, everyone was asking why im not married yet or why im single. its a personal choice now. relationships all end up the same anyways. and now that i've accepted Jesus in my life, i have a Love no man can offer me. i like that thought.

well i just started reading/studying and catching up on Bible knowledge this year. My first repentance was beautiful. I loved the feeling of confession and reaching out for acceptance and forgiveness.

well, the last guy i was in love with, i asked him to marry me. he did say yes. i was excited. but then later on he said he didnt know if i was serious or not. that totally crushed me. i knew i felt it, i knew i wanted it, only for him to tell me that. so i know i will never ask anyone to marry me ever again, my pride is just crushed i guess. idk.

but we are, i guess, good friends. after our seperation i moved out on the island while he went to take care of his business back on the mainland. and i started growing my own independence and it was great. i never felt so free. but guess what, he decides he wants to be closer. he is also a christian and our goal is to study together and walk the narrow path. but it sucks because theres always these mixed emotions that confuse both of us.

so buddy ends up becoming "obsessed" with me as he says so himself. he always compliments me, says he needs me, loves me, wants to treat me like a queen, all this stuff. but i kept my walls up, saying that i want to build a relationship with God. I didnt want to fall back onto the web of despair. But now that he's finally taking it more seriously, idk, now im starting to have feelings again. its all so confusing and im so sick of falling in love or whatever it is. i just want a break from it all. i dont want to hurt like this anymore.

i keep asking and praying to God who is my Adam. who do i belong with. Am i even meant to be married or be in love with another. of course all in his will. But these hurdles or trials just break my heart everytime and i thought i was over it. I know somehow all this pain will make me stronger in the end, but i dont want to deal with it anymore =[

....i dont want anyone falling in love with me anymore, i dont want to feel worldly emotions for someone who will just end up crushing everything in me, who will just play with my emotions, i dont want to think maybe this time it will happen, im done with the fairytale scene. i dont want to end up cold, idk what to do....
 
Anyone who says Yes to marrying you and then goes back on his word by accusing you of "not being serious enough" is NOT WORTH IT! This guy had his chance and he passed on it. I know the bible says to forgive, but it does not say to make the same mistake twice. I think you need to start a new chapter in your life with a new man, or at least a new search. God bless.

gabriel
 
for sure...and thanks. i just dont get what is so different this time. idk its a slippery slope right now. everytime im on the brink of completely breaking it off with him, idk, its like he guilt trips me into feeling something for him again. i just finished talking to him, well, texting him because we're an hour away from each other right now, but like, he started mentioning how he was starting to shake really bad and tearing up...

but i agree with a new chapter. things happened as they did for some reason. i just dont know what. we are really good friends. we both have a passion to learn more about God and his Works.

like, im not the kind of girl who says she cant STAND being single, i have no problem with independence, i love it. but idk i always end up meeting some guy who thinks he's in love with me or i think i like.

well...i just really dislike that hopeless, hurt, lonely feeling after a break-up. or...whatever this is that we're going through. i was the one to step up to ask him to marry me, i may as well be the one to step down and move on...and to trust in God with faith for the ultimate plan he has for us all...
 
I have been married and now divorced. I am one of those people living in sin. I am with a girl that I knew back in highschool, we have a son. I got pretty lucky we have been together for six years now and are still doing very well.

How did I do it? Well, besides being awesome myself, I was lucky enough to find someone else who is awesome. I am not sure there is a trick or something that can be passed along to make that happen. And you may or may not have a lot of bumps on the way down the road.

The most important thing is to not let your heart grow cold and harden. Don't let bitterness and sadness run your life. Bitterness has never helped anybody...ever.

Best of wishes to you and your future.
 
You know, relationships are totally different with God involved. It may sound kind of harsh, but the love needed for a truly successful marriage has to come from God. Though not directly from the Bible, I think that it's impossible for a non-christian to love to the degree that a christian can. By experiencing God's love in a real way and striving to share that love, a relationship can be so strong.

You are still pretty young, I think your friends disbelief/questions about why you aren't married are probably meant more as a compliment than as an attack. A lot of times, things like that are said because someone thinks you're really great, and they think it's crazy that nobody has realized it and proven to you that they are worth staying with. That said, I think it is unwise to push people away out of fear. Biblically speaking, fear is a tool of the devil; love is a tool of God.

As David said... "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me" - Psalms 23.

Also, welcome to the singles forums. Hope we can be helpful. :)
 
thanks you two. for sure i dont want to end up bitter =] well its a new day. and yes i agree with the Christian love/relationship, with God. I know as im learning more i am also changing/maturing.

and well, i could never stay bitter lol im the kind of person who smiles and giggles all the time. but i do have my deep down days. moments of doubt and sorrow always make me feel like something is turning in me, for the worst. but everytime time i hear a love story, about how two people met and how one proposed to the other, it always brings a smile to my face, like it lightens my spirits. im a sucker for engagement stories like that lol thats my silver lining, knowing i havent become cold.

haha and im glad, saul, awesome people unite =]

 
Hey real_healthnut_90!

Sooo, I read through your posts and I gotta say: Girl, you're young....you have enough time to get to know the man that God has prepared for you, him to propose and get married.

People and especially girls tend to rush everything when it comes to love. My advice for you is, stay focused on God, learn about him, develop a close relationship with Him and just keep your eyes on God. As you do this, you will:

a) forget about your sad memories and heartbreakes in the past

b) be really attractive to a godly man

c) know who you are in Christ and your real worth

d)be more sensitive to what God tells you to do/whome to accept/whome to forget

If it's God's will for you to be with this guy, no matter how long it may take, you will be with him. Just trust God and His ability to show you what to do.

I speak patience and wisdom over you, in Jesus Name, Amen!

loves Mimi
 
It seems you two developed an emotional dependence on each other. It may be hard to overcome it and break its power over you, but with God's help it is possible.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back