Simply unreasonable

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

next_step

Guest
#1
#1
There is this (Christian) young woman I met. We talked and surprisingly I was considerably confident, witty and easy-going. I have the intuitive suspicion that there was even chemistry (thats how psychologists call it I guess ) between us. I am not entirely sure, because I rarely had talks like that. (eye-contact, body language, flow of the conversation etc.may indicate this) Well, so what? Happens to many people every day,right? Now comes the odd part. I can't help it yet this conversation sparked something inside me, which manifests itself in severe, unpleasant emotions to put it mildly. I am both fully aware of it and I can't help it. Now this is my question. Is this normal for a person who rarely had these conversations or am I unconsciously attributing ideal childish idolatrous romantic fantasies to someone I barely know? Or is it simply natural to experience severe emotions when you deal with your first inevitable encounters of this kind with the opposite sex. I don't want to rationalize it, its an honest question. The slight problem is that this all happens as it was not under my control and morality is all about accountability, is it? Must I go through this "hardship" so that my character improves or may this rather serve as a motivation to actually act as a man and to be straightforward if I am sure (i find this language disturbingly awkward) . possibly both? I find this downright embarrassing. I want to live for God - for his glory - and yet there is this deep longing I begin to hate. I hate it because its distracting, out of my control and entirely unreasonable. Logically speaking its ridiculous. Do I have to be alarmed, appalled or whatever? To give some background -I am emotionally stable (usually^^), I am not needy, I have real friends, I have a great family, I am diligent, I am even successful and most importantly I love Jesus and to study his precious word. Logically speaking there is no need for me to get stirred up because of life's trivialities and all this vanity.Now I feel better because I articulated my emotional condition ;) Wise counsel is appreciated! :D

:(

O wretched feelings; obey reason or die instantly!

Its like A inevitably leading to B and I say to myself "Are you kidding me!?"

:eek:
 
C

Crimeny

Guest
#2
#2
maybe you ought to not overthink so much, i sort of still do that and i figured out its more irrational and leads gets me in a rut that frustrates me, and just pray to Jesus for some wisdom, besides maybe this is possible relationship that might blossom into a lovely marriage with time patience and love (God put someone into your life maybe?)

remember you are a human being not an emotionless super computer (i used to dream about those things), we all feel things and we ought to enjoy life with Jesus :)
 
G

GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#3
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#3
next_step said:
There is this (Christian) young woman I met. We talked and surprisingly I was considerably confident, witty and easy-going. I have the intuitive suspicion that there was even chemistry (thats how psychologists call it I guess ) between us. I am not entirely sure, because I rarely had talks like that. (eye-contact, body language, flow of the conversation etc.may indicate this) Well, so what? Happens to many people every day,right? Now comes the odd part. I can't help it yet this conversation sparked something inside me, which manifests itself in severe, unpleasant emotions to put it mildly. I am both fully aware of it and I can't help it. Now this is my question. Is this normal for a person who rarely had these conversations or am I unconsciously attributing ideal childish idolatrous romantic fantasies to someone I barely know? Or is it simply natural to experience severe emotions when you deal with your first inevitable encounters of this kind with the opposite sex. I don't want to rationalize it, its an honest question. The slight problem is that this all happens as it was not under my control and morality is all about accountability, is it? Must I go through this "hardship" so that my character improves or may this rather serve as a motivation to actually act as a man and to be straightforward if I am sure (i find this language disturbingly awkward) . possibly both? I find this downright embarrassing. I want to live for God - for his glory - and yet there is this deep longing I begin to hate. I hate it because its distracting, out of my control and entirely unreasonable. Logically speaking its ridiculous. Do I have to be alarmed, appalled or whatever? To give some background -I am emotionally stable (usually^^), I am not needy, I have real friends, I have a great family, I am diligent, I am even successful and most importantly I love Jesus and to study his precious word. Logically speaking there is no need for me to get stirred up because of life's trivialities and all this vanity.Now I feel better because I articulated my emotional condition ;) Wise counsel is appreciated! :D

:(

O wretched feelings; obey reason or die instantly!

Its like A inevitably leading to B and I say to myself "Are you kidding me!?"

:eek:
Click to expand...
Hello brother!
That was a delightful reading, especially coming from a man. :)
The truth is that love can many times be unreasonable, unexpected and very troubling. It really doesn't seem to care about what we want or don't want, about our plans and desires. It has its own logic and is so strong in its pursuits that we feel helpless and manipulated. In the words of Blaise Pascal, "the heart has reasons that reason does not know." So it's normal to feel alarmed and concerned. Just know that it's normal that these feelings appear. The safest way is to entrust them to the Lord and pray maybe even more than before. God bless!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
We are more than our minds and reason fortunately. There's a reason God gave us a heart and emotions. Don't deny them, but let GOD control them so that they become a blessing to you rather than a curse.
 
N

next_step

Guest
#5
#5
My point was not to deny feelings (I intentionally exaggerated that) but rather to point out that natural, arbitrary affection can overwhelm us in an unhealthy way. Occasionally one is exposed to it (you can't just ignore everyone); its difficult but possible to to keep a clear head. Sometimes one just wishes to be a stoic ;)

Thanks for the replies.

GOD_IS_LOVE said:
The safest way is to entrust them to the Lord and pray maybe even more than before
Click to expand...
Absolutely.
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#6
#6
Well, yes it's natural. For me, I just have to keep reminding myself to walk forward with my eyes open and soon enough I will discover that there is somethinimperfect about this person.
 
T

Tobby17

Guest
#7
#7
Ugh my english is awful, i didn't understand d question :p :grin:
 
D

djness

Guest
#8
#8
next_step said:
There is this (Christian) young woman I met. We talked and surprisingly I was considerably confident, witty and easy-going. I have the intuitive suspicion that there was even chemistry (thats how psychologists call it I guess ) between us. I am not entirely sure, because I rarely had talks like that. (eye-contact, body language, flow of the conversation etc.may indicate this) Well, so what? Happens to many people every day,right? Now comes the odd part. I can't help it yet this conversation sparked something inside me, which manifests itself in severe, unpleasant emotions to put it mildly. I am both fully aware of it and I can't help it. Now this is my question. Is this normal for a person who rarely had these conversations or am I unconsciously attributing ideal childish idolatrous romantic fantasies to someone I barely know? Or is it simply natural to experience severe emotions when you deal with your first inevitable encounters of this kind with the opposite sex. I don't want to rationalize it, its an honest question. The slight problem is that this all happens as it was not under my control and morality is all about accountability, is it? Must I go through this "hardship" so that my character improves or may this rather serve as a motivation to actually act as a man and to be straightforward if I am sure (i find this language disturbingly awkward) . possibly both? I find this downright embarrassing. I want to live for God - for his glory - and yet there is this deep longing I begin to hate. I hate it because its distracting, out of my control and entirely unreasonable. Logically speaking its ridiculous. Do I have to be alarmed, appalled or whatever? To give some background -I am emotionally stable (usually^^), I am not needy, I have real friends, I have a great family, I am diligent, I am even successful and most importantly I love Jesus and to study his precious word. Logically speaking there is no need for me to get stirred up because of life's trivialities and all this vanity.Now I feel better because I articulated my emotional condition ;) Wise counsel is appreciated! :D

:(

O wretched feelings; obey reason or die instantly!

Its like A inevitably leading to B and I say to myself "Are you kidding me!?"

:eek:
Click to expand...
It will pass , just stop talking to her and flirting with disaster and keep your eye on God. After all there will be none of this coupledom in heaven. Just stay single and without distraction a little while longer and everything will be great.
 
N

next_step

Guest
#9
#9
It has passed and now I consider converting to stoicism :cool:
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
Yeah...love...ugh...what a dreadful disease...:rolleyes:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.