teenage daughters!!!!!!!!!

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lisav

Guest
#1
#1
Hi I have a beautiful adorable teenage daughter 16yrs old... for the last 3years she has pushed every boundry and even just broken through some! She lies my hubby says if she says good morning he checks his watch because she lies so often!!! she dresses inapropriatly she went out in jeans and a top came back and the top had become a dress! [short!] she drinks... as far as i know no drugs and she is actually passionate about anti smoking... she is intelligent and has good ambitions but she seeks out the 'bad' guys and gals to hang out with and hero worships the ones who don't get on with their parents and live in hostels... if she tells you she has a new friend you just wait to hear the story an ASBO, wearing a curffew tag, pregnant... whatever she has friends who go to Peru and build an orphanage or work at youth projects but they dont hold her interest! I do believe eventually she will re find the Lord and will use her experiences to reach these very kids but at the moment she is not bringing light into their darkness but rather bringing their darkness into her light!

We have talked at length and when we couldn't talk anymore i sent her a letter telling her why i loved her so much and why i would continue to love her i know she has read this over and over and she refers to it in her more reasonable times! However I am so tired of fighting her setting a cerfew and having it smashed having her ridicule me. she is sometimes so hurtful and the non stop nature of this has been on my knees emotionally... i want to do my best for her and allow her to grow i dont want to control her...i am at my wits end though and i have four other children to tend to... does any one else have stories of how tey got through this stage?
I want to do this well and help set her up for an excellent future I am her mum and therefore it is my job to enable her and show her the right way and i dont want to fail her .... and i also want to remain sane lol
She is an amazing girl and despite all this we love each other how can i best support her and how do i stop her taking over the home with her negativity and anger whilst still having her feel important and significant and welcome ....
 
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Harley_Angel

Guest
#2
#2
I was a teenage girl not so long ago...*cringe* She sounds sort of normal. All you can do is ride the wave, remind her of the bad things that can happen, and trust that your teachings plus learning from her own mistakes (we all have to make them) will get her through the turbulent years unscathed.
 
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nanabean

Guest
#3
#3
Hi lisav........I am a mom of two daughters, ages 21 and 23 now. I have been through some simular things with my two girls that you are now going through with yours...differences too, but yes teenage years are tough at times. Unconditional love is all I can tell you. No matter what they do, are going through, are thinking, or act like, just keep as much of a communication open to them as possible, and let them know you love them no matter what!!!! I truly think that is the key.....even though I can't say each of them get on tract at the exact same amount of time either. Take any moment you can to touch base with little snippets of encouragement, a quick hug, or a reminder of something shared when they were younger, anything that makes them know you care, and think about them more than just when they are acting out. I don't have all the answers and I won't pretend to say I haven't made some mistakes of my own, but if you need to vent...I am here....and trust me, you have my prayers!!!!
 
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SewOld

Guest
#4
#4
Some people would say the "blame" for a problem child is on the parents. Having 4 grown children, I still don't understand why they are all so different.
It took me years to learn this one simple thought: God gives everyone, including our children the right to make their own choices. My children are not perfect any more than I am a perfect parent. Having done the best I knew how, I have decided in order to have "the joy of the Lord" in my life now, I have to let go of any guilt or pain caused by my children. There are many people in my age group who are still trying to "fix" a problem child. Just pray for them and leave it in God's hands.
 
loveschild

loveschild

Banned
#5
May 21, 2009
3,955
25
0
#5
Lord help us with teenagers! Keep being her mom and don't be her best friend. She needs her mom to guide her. Keep praying and trusting God. I went thr it and my daughter worships God and is a good servant to him. It doesn't last forever.
 
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