Temptation Trouble

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ashleydecker11

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I really need some help about something I dont understand. Ive been with my husband for 4 years but weve been married for 1 year and we just had a baby 4 months old. But during my pregnancy and a little after the birth we were hitting eachother and arguing alot and I just naturally dont want anything to do with him anymore BUT he is working on changing and I can really see God working in his life but i still dont want anything to do with him. I hate it when he kisses me I just push him away. any kind of sexual advances are just undesired. Ive been tempted to cheat on him and leave him but what stops me is my child needs a father in home. I dont know what to do because my husband is being very patient with me trying to resolve our problems. He says we dont have to have sex if I dont feel comfortable and hes been praying, reading, and seeking God but my consience wants nothing to do with him even though I love him dearly. I keep seeing tv shows about couples that get through tradgedies and I had a dream last night he passed away and It was very diturbing because I love my husband dearly I just dont want to re-live our abusive past because It does spark up every now and again. Please we really need some strong prayer. I want to pack my stuff today

 
Dear Ashley,

You mention that you can see God working in your husband's life. I would suggest that you ask Him to work in your life too. If you truly love your husband dearly, then you need to seek God's help to reconcile the feelings that you have. Remember, the devil is always looking for an opportunity to lead us into sinful behavior, and your estrangement from your husband is the perfect opening for him to step in and do some damage.

But let me say that, in my view, you should not cheat on him under any circumstances. By committing the sin of adultery, you would be pretty much be destroying any chance you might have to reconcile with him. Even if he never found out, you would know, and it would change you for the worst.

I believe that you can ask God to open your eyes to why you are feeling this way about your husband. There must be an underlying reason why you can say that you "love him dearly" on the one hand, but "just push him away" on the other. Once you have figured that out, with God's help, you can talk to your husband honestly and calmly about your feelings and, maybe, determine a course of action to put your marriage back together.

In any case, this is a time to seek God's guidance with all your heart. Pray and pray, and pray some more. In the meantime treat your husband with courtesy and respect and love your child with all your might. If you want it bad enough, God will show you the way.

God be with you in your struggles.
 
I see a lot of talk about your husband trying to change, but you seem to indicate you're not even trying. Sounds to me like you're just sitting around watching him do all the work. Whats going to happen is he's going to get better, and you're still going to be the same angry violent person you were. You're going to continue your violence against him, and he'll eventually get sick of it. Then you won't have a family.
Its funny how you show no signs of trying to change, and then wonder what the problem is. Also you both really should seek out counseling. Not only for the marriage, but for the violent tendencies. If you were my wife and laid a finger on me i'd have your butt put in jail before you could blink. And you wouldn't be welcome back in my house til you figured out what the problem was and did something about it. Seems like despite the past the two of you have, your husband is trying and wants to change and fix your marriage. You are about to ruin a good thing if you don't get your act together and it will be no ones fault but yours. You made this commitment, child or not, its your responsibility to fulfill it.
 
Ashley, you mentioned you just had a baby a few months ago. Have you talked with your doctor about postpartum depression. This could possibly be effecting the way you see your husband. Also, remember that changes in your life causes stress. And stress can warp how you see things.

A couple of things above are symptons to postpartum depression:
Feeling unable to love the baby or your family.
Anger toward the baby, your partner, or other family members
 
Ugly, I disagree. I am trying very hard to work things out my husband because I love him so much but on the other hand Im scared to death of him at times. I was very distressed when I wrote this and I felt like I had no where to turn and thats why it may seem I am doing nothing
 
I absolutely agree with Violakat. Please discuss this with your doctor. It does sound like this might be a hormonal issue.

You know it's wrong to cheat on your husband, so you don't need us to tell you that. You clearly love him and your child, so we know you want your marriage to work. We also know that God loves your family and wants it to stay together. So, please seek God's face and medical attention. Our prayers are with you.

P.S. - sounds like you have quite a guy there :)
 
I'm going to add one other thing to what I said earlier. It sounds like you may still be a little mad at him and yourself, both. This will still take time for you to heal from all the hurt and anger you both suffered. Think of it like a break in the arm. You don't expect to be able to use it the next day. Instead, it usually takes a few weeks for the arm to heal, and then a couple of more weeks for your strength to be back up to speed. It's the same way with your marriage, and all relationships in general. It takes time for the wounds caused by arguments to heal. Sometimes, it's easier to bounce back then others. But it ALWAYS takes time.
 
I didnt think about it as a break in the arm, but your are right violakat you just had helped me too thanks :)
 
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