T
toinena
Guest
Friends come and go. Some are great for a while but then just fade away. And some leave abruptly. And some stays. And cares. No matter what.
I have some friends left from pre school and primary school. They are great. But we all live in separate corners of this country. And non of them are Christians.
I feel like I fall short, somehow. With my friends. I was the one that graduated with the best grades from junior high, and everyone expected great things from me. During senior high I was too busy with music and politics, my grades dropped. It was also some troubles at home. I was called to the councellor because I was an under achiever. Was I in trouble? Maybe. I was angry but I was never acting it out. Just during debates. I could be so mean and ambitious when it came to politics. And of course I knew always what was the right thing to do. But my five friends stayed my friends, regardless of how absolutely irritating I was.
We were three girls. We had been hanging together since 7th grade. Plus Marit, my maid of honor a decade later. We went on trips. To London, Spain and just did things together. One was the beautiful one, one was the nice one, and I was the not so good looking but quite clever one. The beautiful one liked to be with me. She felt more beautiful then. And the nice one liked to be with her, because she felt more popular by doing so. It was an odd dynamics. Eventually the nice one adopted my more important friends than myself and stayed with the beautiful one and I got dumped. Marit and I have still contact. I feel bad for not seeing how good friend she really was. The best of us all.
Then I was in a foursome. Two boys and two girls. Three of us had known eachother since forever, the fourth got added to the group in junior high. All of them became highly successful... except me. I failed. Two are specialized medical doctors, and one has a master in economics. I was just playing my bassoon, marrying the wrong guy and getting disabled on top of everything. The girl got in love with the boy I fancied, and later got pregnant. The four of us never became the same after that.
I miss having Christian friends that stays over time. They are the persons that seem to not stick for the long run. And that hurts. I long for a fellowship that lasts over time. Christian friends have disapeared when the "healing project" failed. Those are the friends that have hurted me the most.
I have some friends online. I love them. But a part of me thinks they are just friends that will dissapear sooner rather than later. Make belief friends. Not friends that send you flowers when you have a birthday. That comes over to share a cup of tea with you when you need company. Or gives you a hug when you see them. But they are still friends. And they matter to me.
Sometimes I look at my life in the light of the Maslow's pyramid. I have basically the lower part covered. I have shelter, food, warmth and rest. And I have the top part where called self-actualization covered with studies and work. But the things in between.... They are a mess. Security, safety, intimate relationships even feeling of accomplishment. It is like the structure is so lose it all falls in a matter of seconds by the slightest touch or error. And where are my friends then? They are overwhelmed and stay away. And fade out. Until the storm calms down.
That's whats friends are for? I hope I am a friend that sticks around when things are rough, but then I have a feeling friends wouldn't trust me in helping them. The only one you can rely on in a matter of crisis is Christ, though. But it would be nice to have friends that could give that good old hug, too.
I have some friends left from pre school and primary school. They are great. But we all live in separate corners of this country. And non of them are Christians.
I feel like I fall short, somehow. With my friends. I was the one that graduated with the best grades from junior high, and everyone expected great things from me. During senior high I was too busy with music and politics, my grades dropped. It was also some troubles at home. I was called to the councellor because I was an under achiever. Was I in trouble? Maybe. I was angry but I was never acting it out. Just during debates. I could be so mean and ambitious when it came to politics. And of course I knew always what was the right thing to do. But my five friends stayed my friends, regardless of how absolutely irritating I was.
We were three girls. We had been hanging together since 7th grade. Plus Marit, my maid of honor a decade later. We went on trips. To London, Spain and just did things together. One was the beautiful one, one was the nice one, and I was the not so good looking but quite clever one. The beautiful one liked to be with me. She felt more beautiful then. And the nice one liked to be with her, because she felt more popular by doing so. It was an odd dynamics. Eventually the nice one adopted my more important friends than myself and stayed with the beautiful one and I got dumped. Marit and I have still contact. I feel bad for not seeing how good friend she really was. The best of us all.
Then I was in a foursome. Two boys and two girls. Three of us had known eachother since forever, the fourth got added to the group in junior high. All of them became highly successful... except me. I failed. Two are specialized medical doctors, and one has a master in economics. I was just playing my bassoon, marrying the wrong guy and getting disabled on top of everything. The girl got in love with the boy I fancied, and later got pregnant. The four of us never became the same after that.
I miss having Christian friends that stays over time. They are the persons that seem to not stick for the long run. And that hurts. I long for a fellowship that lasts over time. Christian friends have disapeared when the "healing project" failed. Those are the friends that have hurted me the most.
I have some friends online. I love them. But a part of me thinks they are just friends that will dissapear sooner rather than later. Make belief friends. Not friends that send you flowers when you have a birthday. That comes over to share a cup of tea with you when you need company. Or gives you a hug when you see them. But they are still friends. And they matter to me.
Sometimes I look at my life in the light of the Maslow's pyramid. I have basically the lower part covered. I have shelter, food, warmth and rest. And I have the top part where called self-actualization covered with studies and work. But the things in between.... They are a mess. Security, safety, intimate relationships even feeling of accomplishment. It is like the structure is so lose it all falls in a matter of seconds by the slightest touch or error. And where are my friends then? They are overwhelmed and stay away. And fade out. Until the storm calms down.
That's whats friends are for? I hope I am a friend that sticks around when things are rough, but then I have a feeling friends wouldn't trust me in helping them. The only one you can rely on in a matter of crisis is Christ, though. But it would be nice to have friends that could give that good old hug, too.
Smile..