The Coin and the Image

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ChrisTillinen

Active member
Sep 16, 2022
314
170
43
#1
They showed him a coin
to trap him by his words,
to soothe their fragile sense
of broken honor and religious pride.

Mere token of transitory value
as their tool of deceitful choice
trying to outwit the eternal wisdom
to devalue the one of infinite worth.

By the image you may know the worth
so whose image does it bear?
Puppet ruler of the hour of darkness
or the king of everlasting light?

At the presence of light
even the dimmest silvery surface
can become a mirror
reflecting your innermost being.

The object may be different,
but the questions remain the same.
Whose image does it bear?
To whom does it belong?
 

ChrisTillinen

Active member
Sep 16, 2022
314
170
43
#2
Personally, I think I like this one a lot even without rhymes, but there are some suboptimalities with it. I may consider rewriting it so that it rhymes. Also, did you catch the change of focus near the end of the poem (when it becomes about humans bearing the image of God)? That could have been made a bit more evident, but on the other hand, that might take away from the joy of realization that can accompany a more indirect and subtle form of expression.
 

ebdesroches

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2022
962
490
63
75
#3
They showed him a coin
to trap him by his words,
to soothe their fragile sense
of broken honor and religious pride.

Mere token of transitory value
as their tool of deceitful choice
trying to outwit the eternal wisdom
to devalue the one of infinite worth.

By the image you may know the worth
so whose image does it bear?
Puppet ruler of the hour of darkness
or the king of everlasting light?

At the presence of light
even the dimmest silvery surface
can become a mirror
reflecting your innermost being.

The object may be different,
but the questions remain the same.
Whose image does it bear?
To whom does it belong?
They showed him a coin
to trap him by his words,
to soothe their fragile sense
of broken honor and religious pride.

Mere token of transitory value
as their tool of deceitful choice
trying to outwit the eternal wisdom
to devalue the one of infinite worth.

By the image you may know the worth
so whose image does it bear?
Puppet ruler of the hour of darkness
or the king of everlasting light?

At the presence of light
even the dimmest silvery surface
can become a mirror
reflecting your innermost being.

The object may be different,
but the questions remain the same.
Whose image does it bear?
To whom does it belong?
The main idea of this poem is great!

Very minor thing:
"They showed him a coin
to trap him by his words,”

Actually Jesus requested the coin…pretty minor yes!
 

ebdesroches

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2022
962
490
63
75
#4
The main idea of this poem is great!

Very minor thing:
"They showed him a coin
to trap him by his words,”

Actually Jesus requested the coin…pretty minor yes!
The main point: whose image do you bear, …. excellent!
 

ebdesroches

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2022
962
490
63
75
#5
A little rewrite….voila! Perfect!
 

ChrisTillinen

Active member
Sep 16, 2022
314
170
43
#6
The main idea of this poem is great!

Very minor thing:
"They showed him a coin
to trap him by his words,”

Actually Jesus requested the coin…pretty minor yes!
Yes, indeed. Funny that I missed that part.
 

ebdesroches

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2022
962
490
63
75
#7
I l
Personally, I think I like this one a lot even without rhymes, but there are some suboptimalities with it. I may consider rewriting it so that it rhymes. Also, did you catch the change of focus near the end of the poem (when it becomes about humans bearing the image of God)? That could have been made a bit more evident, but on the other hand, that might take away from the joy of realization that can accompany a more indirect and subtle form of expression.[/QUOTE i like the subtly. Very good