After I seemed to be doing better and moving on something happens to me that just stabs me right in the heart, creating new wounds... An old coworker I worked with sent a picture of my ex and told me they brought him along to the beach. This person that sent a picture of my ex told me he keeps crying over me and said that He wished the seagulls would take him away and bring him to me here in Louisiana. I know our friends mean well but I cut my ex off and stopped letting him in for a reason. As much as I want to think I have moved on and accepted my choice there are still moments when I ponder about us. My heart aches more than I ever imagined it would. This pain I feel constantly reminds me of him. But than I remember what the bible said about being unequally yoked with someone. I hate myself for letting someone like him in my life and for being a fool, giving him all of me... blindly...
Its like I saw the train coming while I was standing in the tracks but instead of moving I just stayed there and now I'm hurting. Last time I talked to him and he told me he would never recover from losing me and how he would do anything to have me back. As romantic as that seems I constantly remind myself why I am where I am now. I remind myself that he made me cry so many times and belittled me, how he made me feel not good enough. I remember the times i sacrificed so much for him and asked for so little in return but would be left empty handed and with my heart bleeding. No matter what I did I never seemed good enough and he never hid his gaze of looking at other options while I looked only at him and desired nothing more. Despite everything I cry and cry and I cry some more. Patiently waiting for the day the pain goes away.
Its like I saw the train coming while I was standing in the tracks but instead of moving I just stayed there and now I'm hurting. Last time I talked to him and he told me he would never recover from losing me and how he would do anything to have me back. As romantic as that seems I constantly remind myself why I am where I am now. I remind myself that he made me cry so many times and belittled me, how he made me feel not good enough. I remember the times i sacrificed so much for him and asked for so little in return but would be left empty handed and with my heart bleeding. No matter what I did I never seemed good enough and he never hid his gaze of looking at other options while I looked only at him and desired nothing more. Despite everything I cry and cry and I cry some more. Patiently waiting for the day the pain goes away.
. It sounds to me like you made the EXACT RIGHT DECISION!!! I urge you to stick to your guns, and do not waver in your resolve to rid yourself of this person. He sounds like he could be narcissistic. You nor anyone else could ever be yourself and be happy with this man, he has some serious issues, and they will never be resolved until and if, (and both are highly unlikely) he comes face to face with himself and gets honest, (again which I doubt will happen anytime soon, anyway ) Turn your thoughts away from him and everything that pertains to him, think on anything but him, get involved, stay busy, and his memory will begin to fade. You have definately done the right thing!!!
