The Insider trying to reach out

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levelmymindbyfaith22

levelmymindbyfaith22

Member
#1
Apr 30, 2012
33
1
6
#1
I have never really been close to anyone in my family. But that doesn't mean I don't care about them. They just make bad decisions that I don't agree with and they are in denial. Might I add they don't want to follow jesus in the light. They don't want to believe in God, maybe because then that means they are giving in. I am not too sure. What I do know is they aare all in denial and when I try to reach out to them they want nothing to do with the help I have to offer. Like today my Dad who I haven't talked to in a while due to his anger sent me a text message saying " Just wanted to say good bye." I said... "Goodbye?" He said i am done. I am depressed." So i sent him some scriptures hoping it would lift his spirit. Come to find out he is out drinking, was drunk and sent me the message so I would talk to him. I started talking about God and he said he wanted nothing to do with that religious crap. That i was pathetic. He is my dad yet he treats me awful. He says he loves me and tells me that but never shows it. My sister smokes an illegal drug and has two kids. I have tried to reach towards her but once i moved away from the family she said I am not her sister anymore and that she wants nothing to do with me. so she is not tlaking to me. Then my Mom, she claims to love God and all but yet she lives an un-christ like or non christian life. It is very hard because i've tried cutting them out of my life because all they do is bring me down, they are mean and cruel and say hurtful things and yet I feel guilty because maybe I am being too hard on them by not talking to them? See there is a lot of stuff i don't have time to write that has happened in the past with all my family. I want to be there fo them but i feel like if i do that it is fakeing in a way because I know deep down I can't have a normal relationship with any of them. My dad is an alcoholic and won't admit it, he lives with my grandma, has no license, has no car, and has horrible anger problems. My Mom has lupus, heart problems, is an alcoholic that was recovering but slipped again, she lives with this guy she met at a homeless shelter when she lived there and he is so mean to her and she won't get rid of him. My sister is a mother of two, she partys constantly, has a lazy husband, and they both smoke an illegal drug while the kids are in the house and they went behind my back emailed my sons father and said I beat my son. but yet I am the bad person. I mean I am at a loss for words that my own family acts how they do but i am always the one to blame? I have been praying baout this and man it is just not getting better. Should i keep trying with them or should i let them find God on there own and jusst occasionally speak to them when they call.
 
Mrdll

Mrdll

Senior Member
#2
Jan 15, 2011
127
5
0
#2
You hang in there and keep the course you've been given. "You" can't save them, only Jesus can do that. However you need to be a light to them and continue to try to reach them. Pray for them constantly and when you have an opportunity, talk to them. Don't cram it down their throats, but let them see more than hear. Trust them into God's hands and let Him do the work. You just keep up the good fight. He can change their hearts!

Remember also that the decision is their's to make, not your's.
Praying for you and them. GB
 
A

annie123

Guest
#3
#3
:( Sorry your'e going through a hard time! Luckily you have your CC family, thats there for you. Ill keep you in my prayers aswell :)
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
levelmymindbyfaith22 said:
I have never really been close to anyone in my family. But that doesn't mean I don't care about them. They just make bad decisions that I don't agree with and they are in denial. Might I add they don't want to follow jesus in the light. They don't want to believe in God, maybe because then that means they are giving in. I am not too sure. What I do know is they aare all in denial and when I try to reach out to them they want nothing to do with the help I have to offer. Like today my Dad who I haven't talked to in a while due to his anger sent me a text message saying " Just wanted to say good bye." I said... "Goodbye?" He said i am done. I am depressed." So i sent him some scriptures hoping it would lift his spirit. Come to find out he is out drinking, was drunk and sent me the message so I would talk to him. I started talking about God and he said he wanted nothing to do with that religious crap. That i was pathetic. He is my dad yet he treats me awful. He says he loves me and tells me that but never shows it. My sister smokes an illegal drug and has two kids. I have tried to reach towards her but once i moved away from the family she said I am not her sister anymore and that she wants nothing to do with me. so she is not tlaking to me. Then my Mom, she claims to love God and all but yet she lives an un-christ like or non christian life. It is very hard because i've tried cutting them out of my life because all they do is bring me down, they are mean and cruel and say hurtful things and yet I feel guilty because maybe I am being too hard on them by not talking to them? See there is a lot of stuff i don't have time to write that has happened in the past with all my family. I want to be there fo them but i feel like if i do that it is fakeing in a way because I know deep down I can't have a normal relationship with any of them. My dad is an alcoholic and won't admit it, he lives with my grandma, has no license, has no car, and has horrible anger problems. My Mom has lupus, heart problems, is an alcoholic that was recovering but slipped again, she lives with this guy she met at a homeless shelter when she lived there and he is so mean to her and she won't get rid of him. My sister is a mother of two, she partys constantly, has a lazy husband, and they both smoke an illegal drug while the kids are in the house and they went behind my back emailed my sons father and said I beat my son. but yet I am the bad person. I mean I am at a loss for words that my own family acts how they do but i am always the one to blame? I have been praying baout this and man it is just not getting better. Should i keep trying with them or should i let them find God on there own and jusst occasionally speak to them when they call.
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Wow, God has truly blessed you :)

He has revealed Himself to you, you have responded correctly and are seeing reality as well...reality. You are no longer blind or deaf to the truth.

The problem is that when you try to share this with your blind and deaf family (Satan is very much influencing them), they think you're crazy, weird, and one of those "fanatics".

This is not a big surprise. I've experienced some of this with my parents and siblings also; although not to the degree that you have.

My suggestion to you is to cast your pearls sparingly and try to be tough when they are thrown back into your face by those who by God's law are supposed to be the ones teaching YOU the spiritual truths (your parents).

It helps to accept family members when you remember that they are being lied to just as you have. But you and God are on talking-terms and you have an inside connection to what's really going on in this crazy, fallen world.

I admire your ability to come out of an environment like this. Love your family as much as possible and remember that each person comes to God on their own...you can't do it for them. It is ESPECIALLY hard to witness to family members because of all the baggage we have with them :( .

Praying for them may be the strongest influence you can have on them right now. Pray that Satan and his helpers are bound up and thrown into the pit...pray specifically...like for the drugs that your sister uses to completely lose their appeal.

Also, your shrugging off their insults will be a big witness to them. This is probably THE hardest part of witnessing to family because their reactions can hurt you very much. They are very much tied up with your own self-identity. Even if they react negatively to you, I think many things you say and do will sink in and take hold of them.

To be 'tough', remember to see yourself as God sees you; not as you think your family sees you.

Don't give up on your family, sister. You may be the only one praying for them :) .
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
I've been through similar with my family. They weren't mean as your family, but there was so much division and even though they also made a huge emphasis on how we are family and supposed to love each other, that 'love' had more to do with enabling them in their wrong behavior and less to do with accepting me for how i am. So i can relate somewhat. I too chose to separate myself from them. Now i didn't have this problem with my parents, as you do, so its probably harder for you. But my belief is, if you're a bad person for me, get to steppin. I make my own life hard enough, i don't need others to make it worse.
And its not even a matter of if they're saved or not. If i know a non-saved person living a lifestyle i don't agree with, but he accepts my faith, and doesn't push his lifestyle or bring me down, then great. Friends. But we have one life to live, one chance to do this and family or not, i won't allow people to make my life worse. To bring me down, my faith, my spirit. No one person on this earth should be that important. The bible even says that for some people the price of following God could be the division of your family. Something to add to your thoughts and pray about.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#7
#7
I would say there may be times when a separation for a time is best. Dear one! you are so young, and these are tough issues.

I can't help thinking of this verse:
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1Tim.4:12
Paul adjured his son in the faith to set an example for the believers...not to say we aren't meant to be salt and light to the world...but perhaps you need to take some time away in order to grow and strengthen your faith...to allow the Lord to give you the spiritual strength to deal with these things?

Just a thought. I'll be in prayer for you, child of God! ♥
~ellie
 
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