You will not use freedom from law to deliberately willfully do what you want if you love Jesus this would be impossible. I am going to put some scripture reference up for you to look at in your Bible. Paul continuously says. We are not under law, if we follow after the Holy Spirit. And if you haven't been baptised in the Holy Spirt, believe me you can be.
The law can only maske you concous of your sin. Rom3:20 But you do need to read Romans and Galatians. Here are the verses.
Rom1:17, Rom3:20-26 Rom3:28, Rom3:31 Rom4:3, Rom4:6, Rom4:15, Rom4:23, Rom5:6, Rom5:13, Rom6:14-16, Rom7:5-11, Rom8:28-30, Rom9:30-32, Rom10:3-6, Rom10:8-101, Rom10:17, Gal2:15-21, Gal3 the whole chapter. and the rest of Galatians. Keep reading Romans and Galatians.
You haven't said anything for a while, I hope you haqve kind of understood what I have very briefly tried to explain. It is so difficult to go over it all quickly. You need to pray that God will show you the truth of the salvation that is yours in Jesus. You will never be free by condemning yourself for your sin. Satan just loves that. But if you live by faith in Jesus, he will not like that because you will see results.
Do we then nullify the law by this faith? Not at all! Rather we uphold the law. Rom3:31
It is all about coming humbly before Jesus and repenting of our sin and asking him to change us, and he will do it. You have faith already, or you couldn't be a Christian. It is not about what you can do to be with God, rather it is what God can do in you through Jesus and The Holy Spirit. And if you have not been yet you certainly can be baptised in the Spirit. It does not depend on you being 'good enough' to receive it. Gal3:3
What pleases God is you trusting in his son, not condemniung yourself for feeling you are inworthy and not good enough for him. None of us will or can ever be good enough.
The Bibler says we cannot earn our way to Heaven, we cannot be good enough for Heaven, we cannot get there by good works or by obeying Gods laws.
For it is by GRACE y7ou have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no-one can boast. Eph2:8&9
Grace is God's love for you. You could not come to God unless he called you to Him, and gave you the faith to bvelieve in Jesus. He will always love you, wouldn't your natural parent? And God loves you far more than they ever could. All he asks is that you trust in His Son, and follow after the Holy Spirit in your life. All of that guilt can go, if you will let it, because the thing that condemned you and gave you your guilt(ther law) has been removed. Providing you look tro Jesus and want to follow him.
Christ is the end of the law. Rom10:4
God will deliver you if you trust in Jesus and keep trustring him. And you can CERTAINLY be baptised in the Holy Spirit. The Spirt is with you now. You couldn't be a Christian otherwuise, and you wouldn't feel remorse for your sin unless the Holy Spirit was convicting you of it.
Don't ever turn aside from the grace of God. If your church will not accept this, change to one that will. Check up on everything I have written in your Bible.
Never believe anyone(including a mninster) without checking in the Bible if what he is saying is correct. Be free. Jesus paid the price for your freedom.
Paul said he was the worst of sinners and a blasphemer, but look how God changed him.
It isn't how bad we are, but whether we will come in the truth of why Jesus died.