your post had me scratching my head :{ Trying to find God that way is not possible. Having faith in Him has nothing to do with logic. For instance, I see evidence that God exist in everything! From DNAs, to the birth of a child, to the sunrise, to spring or the beauty and complexity of the world/universe. There are answers that you will never find, no matter how hard you search. The only thing I could give you comes from personal experience.... but then again that is not what you're looking for.