M
Mysti
Guest
I accepted Christ when I was 8. That was the beginning of my journey...and even though I'm only 15 as I type this, I have gone through so much.
I began to fall away from God when I was 10. I began to feel that it was childish to believe in God. I wanted something different. And that never changed until I was 13. But this was the least of my problems.
Okay, here it goes. In December of 2011, I was starting to break. I felt unloved, especially by my family and friends, I felt rejected, like an outcast. I felt that there was something wrong with me. Something that made people not like me. I had been hurt and betrade, and I was falling from God once more. Stress from everyday life didn't get any easier. I'm behind in school and it's been hard to catch up. I feel like I struggle to learn things and that I was stupid. And I was starting to get depressed
All these things piled higher and higher. I felt no way out. I was wanting to cut myself.
When I tried to tell my mom, she didn't listen. I now had only 3 friends to rely on for help. But I soon felt like they too were ignoring me. I fell further into depression. There were days so bad that I wouldn't eat hardly anything. And there were days where I was one move from cutting myself.
As the days went on, I still got worse. I kept praying, asking God to help me get out of this, telling Him I only had 1% to give Him and that He'd have to do the rest. I was trying to get into the Word more, but nothing I did seemed to help. I was breaking down.
After a while, I began to feel like I was a burden on the people that were trying to help me. That I was ruining their lives. I began thinking it'd be best to get rid of myself then have others suffer, including myself.
But I finally got a "slap in the face" one day. And I heard someone saying, "Look at what you're doing! Don't you see you're wrong? Don't you see there's something greater for you than this?" It was that day that I realized God was there. He was helping me, I just didn't see it. I also found out that I hadn't given my whole heart into getting better. I had more that I could give, it was just a matter of wanting to give it in.
I promised myself, my friends, and God that, from that day forth, I wasn't going to think about hurting myself. I wasn't going to think about depression or let it get to me. Yes I still have my days. But I'm also better, stronger, and closer to God now than I was before.
I was talking with a new friend of mine, telling him about what I was feeling (this was only a few days ago from when I have typed this). He told me that I was still feeling sorry for myself. And that's true. I was. But he told me something.
"The devil is always trying to hurt you, trying to put you down. Depression is one way. People are another. But the thing is, you can't let it get to you. You have to fight it off, rebuke it."
And he was right. From that day on, I have not let depression get to me. There were days when it was creaping up on me. But I stopped it. I wasn't going to let it bring me down. I wanted to fight it.
You see, this whole journey in these few short years have led me to what I believe God wants me to do: and that is to help others, teenagers, with their troubles. I believe He wants me to work with troubled teens, help them find their way out and back to Christ.
And that's exactly what I plan to do with my life. And with God's help, I will be able to help those who need it and ask for it.
I thanks God every day for picking me to help others. I love it so much!
God bless!
I began to fall away from God when I was 10. I began to feel that it was childish to believe in God. I wanted something different. And that never changed until I was 13. But this was the least of my problems.
Okay, here it goes. In December of 2011, I was starting to break. I felt unloved, especially by my family and friends, I felt rejected, like an outcast. I felt that there was something wrong with me. Something that made people not like me. I had been hurt and betrade, and I was falling from God once more. Stress from everyday life didn't get any easier. I'm behind in school and it's been hard to catch up. I feel like I struggle to learn things and that I was stupid. And I was starting to get depressed
All these things piled higher and higher. I felt no way out. I was wanting to cut myself.
When I tried to tell my mom, she didn't listen. I now had only 3 friends to rely on for help. But I soon felt like they too were ignoring me. I fell further into depression. There were days so bad that I wouldn't eat hardly anything. And there were days where I was one move from cutting myself.
As the days went on, I still got worse. I kept praying, asking God to help me get out of this, telling Him I only had 1% to give Him and that He'd have to do the rest. I was trying to get into the Word more, but nothing I did seemed to help. I was breaking down.
After a while, I began to feel like I was a burden on the people that were trying to help me. That I was ruining their lives. I began thinking it'd be best to get rid of myself then have others suffer, including myself.
But I finally got a "slap in the face" one day. And I heard someone saying, "Look at what you're doing! Don't you see you're wrong? Don't you see there's something greater for you than this?" It was that day that I realized God was there. He was helping me, I just didn't see it. I also found out that I hadn't given my whole heart into getting better. I had more that I could give, it was just a matter of wanting to give it in.
I promised myself, my friends, and God that, from that day forth, I wasn't going to think about hurting myself. I wasn't going to think about depression or let it get to me. Yes I still have my days. But I'm also better, stronger, and closer to God now than I was before.
I was talking with a new friend of mine, telling him about what I was feeling (this was only a few days ago from when I have typed this). He told me that I was still feeling sorry for myself. And that's true. I was. But he told me something.
"The devil is always trying to hurt you, trying to put you down. Depression is one way. People are another. But the thing is, you can't let it get to you. You have to fight it off, rebuke it."
And he was right. From that day on, I have not let depression get to me. There were days when it was creaping up on me. But I stopped it. I wasn't going to let it bring me down. I wanted to fight it.
You see, this whole journey in these few short years have led me to what I believe God wants me to do: and that is to help others, teenagers, with their troubles. I believe He wants me to work with troubled teens, help them find their way out and back to Christ.
And that's exactly what I plan to do with my life. And with God's help, I will be able to help those who need it and ask for it.
I thanks God every day for picking me to help others. I love it so much!
God bless!
