Hello, my name is Josh Haney, and this is my testimony.
Even when I was little someone was always encouraging me to find God.
First my father had answered my question about what happens after death at age 5. This was the beginning of my spiritual thought process.
Around this time period of my life, I spent a lot of time at my grandmother’s house in the summers.
I would attend church with her, but I must confess, at that young age I was coming along for the McDonalds afterwards, rather than the service.
She encouraged me to become baptized at that young age, and the idea sounded good to me simply because she thought it was a good idea.
I am thankful to God that I didn’t follow through, because I wouldn’t have the option to declare my faith, and service to Jesus Christ right now, in a time where I actually understand the concept of salvation.
As I had grown older I slowly had grown apart from my grandmother, and attending church wasn’t a thought that popped into my head.
However, the simplistic idea of “be good go to heaven” “be bad go to hell” remained at the back of my head, while having no ambition to read God’s word, or to pray to figure out what “good” and “bad” even are.
I was content with that train of thought, and it wasn’t a thing that I had questioned whatsoever.
That was until I met a misguided friend at the age of 13.
This friend was revolutionary to me at the time.
In grade 5-7 I was bullied greatly. That ended when I became best friends with the guy. A past bully approached me on the first day of grade 8; he called me a “**g”. And my first thought at this time was “Excellent, another year of this.”
Then right after the bully’s statement, this new found friend replied “This guy is so cool. He called Josh a **g. Man I idolize this guy, why can’t I be you!?” he said so sarcastically of course. And as a result this bully was embarrassed, and he stopped bothering me.
After this I began to idolize him. It was a huge temporary crutch in my life, but ultimately a sinful act.
This friend and I established a classroom counter culture. We exposed systematic perpetuations of ridiculousness.
If there was an immature act of social scrutiny in the classroom, we exposed it, and would shame whoever was causing it. If the teacher made a wrong call and treated us like children, we would shame her, and the classroom would be in an open rebellion.
However, there was a problem at the time that should have been settled maturely on my end. He said he was an atheist, so I replied “I’m a Christian”.
At this time I had no idea what that even meant. So by default, I assumed he was right because he had many arguments to offer, and I of course had none. And of course I idolized him at this time, so it caused me to step away from my position, and to follow his.
After that year we had grown apart, and I had no one to back me up entering high school. It was a completely new world to me, and I had no ground to stand on.
I felt socially awkward, and I was doing the wrong things to try to aid my confidence. I stole from cars, I smoked marijuana, I got into fights, I had premarital sex, and I temporarily sold marijuana.
The thought of asking God for help didn’t even occur. Yet he still brought me places to break me out of the social shell that I developed.
The Infinity Program was one of those places. It’s a program designed for people with issues that cause them to fall back in school. My issue of course was social anxiety.
There I met a friend who would become my best friend even still today. He helped me to become more social, and he put me in uncomfortable situations knowing that’s how you make uncomfortable situations become comfortable ones.
This friend would encourage me to play a video game called RuneScape with him. While playing this game, I made another friend named Yvonne. She always encouraged me to follow Christ. I will forever know her as a nurturer of my faith. There were times of course where I presented an angry atheist argument to her, but she was always patient, and explained the scientific, and spiritual faults with my arguments.
Before the school year ended at this time, I watched the movie Monsters University. I looked at Mike Wazowski, and his failures. He could never be a scarer, because he was too small. And I thought I could never be confident, or get a girlfriend because I had low self-esteem. I beat myself up over this thought.
And after being encouraged by Yvonne, I prayed for the first time since I was very little. I prayed that God would grant me the confidence I needed to do things like get a girlfriend.
After that I went to go work in Kenora for the summer when the school year ended, and guess what happened? I got my first girlfriend.
However, I started to idolize her, and because I spent so much time with her, and at work, I never really got the chance to ask Yvonne for advice, nor did the thought even occur.
God granted me a gift, and right after, I forgot about him.
As a result, the relationship was a painful one. It didn’t work out, and it taught me a huge lesson, which I am thankful for.
And that lesson is you don’t need to be with someone to have confidence, in fact, you should have confidence before you’re with someone.
A year later, I found a website called Christian Chat. Something kept drawing me to the website, although initially my desire was to troll it. I like to say, I came to a flock of sheep as a wolf, then the sheep helped turn me into a lamb.
The community helped me to become more interested in the Christian faith.
Around this time I watched a miniseries called “The Bible”.
Before doing so I made a prayer to God asking him to provide me with evidence of his existence, so that I could believe and become saved.
I watched this series, and there was a scene where Satan tempted Jesus three times. Jesus of course, after resisting the temptations said the words “Get away from me, Satan”.
After finishing the episode, I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and while smoking I noticed a snake slithering on the mat my grandparents had outside.
I approached the snake, and stomped my feet, and it wouldn’t move no matter how hard I stomped.
And here is the part of my testimony where you’ll think I’m crazy.
Believe it or not I said the words “Back away from me Satan” mimicking the series I just watched and the snake slithered away.
Could there be a scientific explanation for this? Possibly.
But I believe that God provided me with that situation as evidence for his existence so that I could follow him and become saved.
After that event, I still refused to become a Christian. I made the choice to not follow God because I wanted to live a sinful lifestyle.
However, shortly after I got called to Christian Chat once again, for no reason that I can comprehend, it wasn’t to troll, it was just to be there. I wanted to be there.
Then slowly, I began to appreciate Christ more.
I reached out to a good friend here in Stonewall, and he recommended I come to this church. Here I saw many familiar faces, and I experienced many loving hearts.
So I want to thank God for certain things in my life and I want to give a declaration to God.
Thank you God for providing me with loving parents, and grandparents.
Thank you for providing me with the fellowship I needed to finally gain the confidence to announce my faith.
Thank you for the evidence, and things you have put in place to allow me to come to you, my lord.
Thank you for staying with me, even when my faith was weak, and even when I did sinful things.
And now my declaration.
Dear lord,
Although sometimes I don’t feel blessed, or do the right things, I will not fear the thought of not being saved. The only thing I will do is try my best to resist temptation, and try my best to serve you, for you are my creator, and my savior. You stay by my side even when I’m wrong, and you forgive me. You guide me on the right path to you, and do not let me stray away. Thank you my lord. From now on I will serve you and you alone.
Amen.
Even when I was little someone was always encouraging me to find God.
First my father had answered my question about what happens after death at age 5. This was the beginning of my spiritual thought process.
Around this time period of my life, I spent a lot of time at my grandmother’s house in the summers.
I would attend church with her, but I must confess, at that young age I was coming along for the McDonalds afterwards, rather than the service.
She encouraged me to become baptized at that young age, and the idea sounded good to me simply because she thought it was a good idea.
I am thankful to God that I didn’t follow through, because I wouldn’t have the option to declare my faith, and service to Jesus Christ right now, in a time where I actually understand the concept of salvation.
As I had grown older I slowly had grown apart from my grandmother, and attending church wasn’t a thought that popped into my head.
However, the simplistic idea of “be good go to heaven” “be bad go to hell” remained at the back of my head, while having no ambition to read God’s word, or to pray to figure out what “good” and “bad” even are.
I was content with that train of thought, and it wasn’t a thing that I had questioned whatsoever.
That was until I met a misguided friend at the age of 13.
This friend was revolutionary to me at the time.
In grade 5-7 I was bullied greatly. That ended when I became best friends with the guy. A past bully approached me on the first day of grade 8; he called me a “**g”. And my first thought at this time was “Excellent, another year of this.”
Then right after the bully’s statement, this new found friend replied “This guy is so cool. He called Josh a **g. Man I idolize this guy, why can’t I be you!?” he said so sarcastically of course. And as a result this bully was embarrassed, and he stopped bothering me.
After this I began to idolize him. It was a huge temporary crutch in my life, but ultimately a sinful act.
This friend and I established a classroom counter culture. We exposed systematic perpetuations of ridiculousness.
If there was an immature act of social scrutiny in the classroom, we exposed it, and would shame whoever was causing it. If the teacher made a wrong call and treated us like children, we would shame her, and the classroom would be in an open rebellion.
However, there was a problem at the time that should have been settled maturely on my end. He said he was an atheist, so I replied “I’m a Christian”.
At this time I had no idea what that even meant. So by default, I assumed he was right because he had many arguments to offer, and I of course had none. And of course I idolized him at this time, so it caused me to step away from my position, and to follow his.
After that year we had grown apart, and I had no one to back me up entering high school. It was a completely new world to me, and I had no ground to stand on.
I felt socially awkward, and I was doing the wrong things to try to aid my confidence. I stole from cars, I smoked marijuana, I got into fights, I had premarital sex, and I temporarily sold marijuana.
The thought of asking God for help didn’t even occur. Yet he still brought me places to break me out of the social shell that I developed.
The Infinity Program was one of those places. It’s a program designed for people with issues that cause them to fall back in school. My issue of course was social anxiety.
There I met a friend who would become my best friend even still today. He helped me to become more social, and he put me in uncomfortable situations knowing that’s how you make uncomfortable situations become comfortable ones.
This friend would encourage me to play a video game called RuneScape with him. While playing this game, I made another friend named Yvonne. She always encouraged me to follow Christ. I will forever know her as a nurturer of my faith. There were times of course where I presented an angry atheist argument to her, but she was always patient, and explained the scientific, and spiritual faults with my arguments.
Before the school year ended at this time, I watched the movie Monsters University. I looked at Mike Wazowski, and his failures. He could never be a scarer, because he was too small. And I thought I could never be confident, or get a girlfriend because I had low self-esteem. I beat myself up over this thought.
And after being encouraged by Yvonne, I prayed for the first time since I was very little. I prayed that God would grant me the confidence I needed to do things like get a girlfriend.
After that I went to go work in Kenora for the summer when the school year ended, and guess what happened? I got my first girlfriend.
However, I started to idolize her, and because I spent so much time with her, and at work, I never really got the chance to ask Yvonne for advice, nor did the thought even occur.
God granted me a gift, and right after, I forgot about him.
As a result, the relationship was a painful one. It didn’t work out, and it taught me a huge lesson, which I am thankful for.
And that lesson is you don’t need to be with someone to have confidence, in fact, you should have confidence before you’re with someone.
A year later, I found a website called Christian Chat. Something kept drawing me to the website, although initially my desire was to troll it. I like to say, I came to a flock of sheep as a wolf, then the sheep helped turn me into a lamb.
The community helped me to become more interested in the Christian faith.
Around this time I watched a miniseries called “The Bible”.
Before doing so I made a prayer to God asking him to provide me with evidence of his existence, so that I could believe and become saved.
I watched this series, and there was a scene where Satan tempted Jesus three times. Jesus of course, after resisting the temptations said the words “Get away from me, Satan”.
After finishing the episode, I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and while smoking I noticed a snake slithering on the mat my grandparents had outside.
I approached the snake, and stomped my feet, and it wouldn’t move no matter how hard I stomped.
And here is the part of my testimony where you’ll think I’m crazy.
Believe it or not I said the words “Back away from me Satan” mimicking the series I just watched and the snake slithered away.
Could there be a scientific explanation for this? Possibly.
But I believe that God provided me with that situation as evidence for his existence so that I could follow him and become saved.
After that event, I still refused to become a Christian. I made the choice to not follow God because I wanted to live a sinful lifestyle.
However, shortly after I got called to Christian Chat once again, for no reason that I can comprehend, it wasn’t to troll, it was just to be there. I wanted to be there.
Then slowly, I began to appreciate Christ more.
I reached out to a good friend here in Stonewall, and he recommended I come to this church. Here I saw many familiar faces, and I experienced many loving hearts.
So I want to thank God for certain things in my life and I want to give a declaration to God.
Thank you God for providing me with loving parents, and grandparents.
Thank you for providing me with the fellowship I needed to finally gain the confidence to announce my faith.
Thank you for the evidence, and things you have put in place to allow me to come to you, my lord.
Thank you for staying with me, even when my faith was weak, and even when I did sinful things.
And now my declaration.
Dear lord,
Although sometimes I don’t feel blessed, or do the right things, I will not fear the thought of not being saved. The only thing I will do is try my best to resist temptation, and try my best to serve you, for you are my creator, and my savior. You stay by my side even when I’m wrong, and you forgive me. You guide me on the right path to you, and do not let me stray away. Thank you my lord. From now on I will serve you and you alone.
Amen.
