No matter who you are, what you have done, where you have gone, or may not have done any of these things you have have a testimony. So here lately God has been really dealing with my heart about my testimony and now I finally have the boldness and strength to tell it. Some of this stuff I have never told anyone not even my family. Some of you may not believe it but every single bit of this is true.
So it all started on my sisters February 7, 2009 when everything felt like it had all came crashing down. This was the day that my mom had told us that her and my dad were getting a divorce. This just crushed me and my sister as well and this happened on her birthday to! Well when she told us this I completely lost it and ran over to my grandmas just crying my eyes out. I got over there and went in my room there and I was just like "God why did you do this what did I ever do?" Little did I know that my uncle (pastor at a church) was there so he came in there and told me nothing was my fault and that God had a plan with everything (Jer 29:11) I thought how can he have a plan with something so bad like this that happened. Well did he ever have a plan! Things just started going incredible for me I was going all out for God (so I thought) and just loving on him 2009 was the year I had officially got what God was doing with my life.
This is the hard part for me now:
My mom was in serious car wreck in (2010 or 2011 can't really remember) I got a call early in the morning from my moms phone and she never really calls me that early well I picked up and my surprise it was my sister saying that mama had got in a wreck and that she was in surgery because she had hurt her leg really bad so I started freaking out scared to death. My mom ended up having a lot of surgeries becase of a staff infections. So in the end a hard decision had to be made either she have her leg amputated or have a machine on her leg. So she ended up getting the amputation. But instead of blaming God this time (like I always had) I was thinking him because she was ok and that nothing worse happened to her (sidenote: now she has a prosthetic leg that she walks on now and you cant even tell nothing happened to her that's God!)
Hard part:
So 2011-2012 was both up and down years for me but it was nothing like the 2 previous years. 2011-2012 was when I was more concerned about being in an earthly relationship then in a relationship with my heavenly father. Everybody started getting boyfriends and being "in love" and here I was feeling all depressed and down in the dumps so that's when I began to kinda backslide away from God I started doing something of which I am not proud of at all. I started doing sexual sins (masterbation and even some porn I'm afraid to say) I just loved the feeling of it and I thought it was ok and it made me feel so good (I thought anyway). I tried and tried to stop I would say all the time "God I'm done I give this to you" but that didn't happen I would just keep doing it! If you guys think this is right you have never been more wrong because our body is a temple for God and nobody else (except your husband when you get married) am I ashamed of what happened in my past not really cause if I was I would not be the person I am today and guess what I am proud to say that today I have been set free and have been cleansed by my Savior!
The main reason why i did this is because I am tired of not telling everything that I have delt with, the struggles I have faced, what God has done for me, and the power that he has! I'm standing up because I am not the person who I use to be. God has set me free and I am made complete in his power.
I just want to say that no matter what you have been through or are going through God loves you and he always will. If you feel like God is dealing with your heart to do something like this I encourage you to do it. People may look differently at you but who cares they sin just like you do and you may even loose some friends but if they leave they were never really your friends in the first place! If any of you have or are going through some of the similar stuff that I have went through just know that God has a purpose for all things and that this will make you stronger! Also if you need any help or just want to talk about this stuff or need prayer please message me! God loves you all and so do I!
Always in love,
Ashley
So it all started on my sisters February 7, 2009 when everything felt like it had all came crashing down. This was the day that my mom had told us that her and my dad were getting a divorce. This just crushed me and my sister as well and this happened on her birthday to! Well when she told us this I completely lost it and ran over to my grandmas just crying my eyes out. I got over there and went in my room there and I was just like "God why did you do this what did I ever do?" Little did I know that my uncle (pastor at a church) was there so he came in there and told me nothing was my fault and that God had a plan with everything (Jer 29:11) I thought how can he have a plan with something so bad like this that happened. Well did he ever have a plan! Things just started going incredible for me I was going all out for God (so I thought) and just loving on him 2009 was the year I had officially got what God was doing with my life.
This is the hard part for me now:
My mom was in serious car wreck in (2010 or 2011 can't really remember) I got a call early in the morning from my moms phone and she never really calls me that early well I picked up and my surprise it was my sister saying that mama had got in a wreck and that she was in surgery because she had hurt her leg really bad so I started freaking out scared to death. My mom ended up having a lot of surgeries becase of a staff infections. So in the end a hard decision had to be made either she have her leg amputated or have a machine on her leg. So she ended up getting the amputation. But instead of blaming God this time (like I always had) I was thinking him because she was ok and that nothing worse happened to her (sidenote: now she has a prosthetic leg that she walks on now and you cant even tell nothing happened to her that's God!)
Hard part:
So 2011-2012 was both up and down years for me but it was nothing like the 2 previous years. 2011-2012 was when I was more concerned about being in an earthly relationship then in a relationship with my heavenly father. Everybody started getting boyfriends and being "in love" and here I was feeling all depressed and down in the dumps so that's when I began to kinda backslide away from God I started doing something of which I am not proud of at all. I started doing sexual sins (masterbation and even some porn I'm afraid to say) I just loved the feeling of it and I thought it was ok and it made me feel so good (I thought anyway). I tried and tried to stop I would say all the time "God I'm done I give this to you" but that didn't happen I would just keep doing it! If you guys think this is right you have never been more wrong because our body is a temple for God and nobody else (except your husband when you get married) am I ashamed of what happened in my past not really cause if I was I would not be the person I am today and guess what I am proud to say that today I have been set free and have been cleansed by my Savior!
The main reason why i did this is because I am tired of not telling everything that I have delt with, the struggles I have faced, what God has done for me, and the power that he has! I'm standing up because I am not the person who I use to be. God has set me free and I am made complete in his power.
I just want to say that no matter what you have been through or are going through God loves you and he always will. If you feel like God is dealing with your heart to do something like this I encourage you to do it. People may look differently at you but who cares they sin just like you do and you may even loose some friends but if they leave they were never really your friends in the first place! If any of you have or are going through some of the similar stuff that I have went through just know that God has a purpose for all things and that this will make you stronger! Also if you need any help or just want to talk about this stuff or need prayer please message me! God loves you all and so do I!
Always in love,
Ashley