Thoughts... Single Parenting

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

Mazel

Guest
#1
#1
I am a single mother to a 12 year old boy. His father is not in the picture at all, and I'm really struggling right now. I"m not sure if there are other single parents on here that can relate or not but welcome any thoughts, advice or encouragement. There is a situation going on in particular right now, but the overall feeling of confusion is what I'm struggling with. I really struggle as a single mother making decisions for my family of 2. Decisions that should be made by discussing with a husband. Or decisions that I feel should be made by the "man of the house". I know that God will see me through any and all situations and all of my Hope is in Him. I still struggle however. Sometimes I just need someone to talk it out with, but none of my friends understand, they are all married. Right now our church is struggling. I'm trying to figure out where God is leading me, us. Do we stay? Do we go? What's he trying to teach me through this? Do you stay and keep hoping for change in the hearts of the congregation, or do you go because God is showing you it's not going to happen (this is an ongoing issue). I lead a women's group at my church and I love the people there, but I feel stuck and I have for quite some time. I feel everyone is comfortable being comfortable and there isn't much room for growth in that situation. Then there is my son and his youth group, he loves his youth group and I feel he really is fed there. Is it the right thing to take him away from that? Maybe this is just rambling, and I apologize if it is, but my mind is a mess. So many decisions I get left to make alone that affect not just my own life, but my son's as well. I know that I got myself to this place, but I'm definitely not who I used to be. The one thing I do know is being in these situations force me to be completely dependent on God... and maybe that's the whole point?
 
Deadtosin

Deadtosin

Banned
#2
Mar 18, 2011
2,540
22
0
#2
please, befriend me and write me letters, we can even schedule times to chat one on one. I'd love to help you sort things out :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
hi mazel
I have a friend who found herself in a similar situation. Let me tell you one of her biggest mistakes she made. She put too much emphasis on not having a man to do things, or decide things. Not having a man as 'head of the family'. True, in an ideal situation, that would be the case, but you're not in an ideal situation so you have to get your mind out of that mentality and get it into the reality of your situation.
I saw as my friend would often do little or nothing for her family in some occasions because she was too caught up in not having a 'man of the house' to do things for her. Really, she'd have been better of just owning up and taking care of business. Her life would've been easier. Instead, she'd waste time not praying, or thinking through a decision, or whatever, and instead spent that time talking about not having a man to make the decision for her.
You're in charge of that family now. Focus on that, not on what it 'should' be. Take control of that family as the head (under God of course) and move forward.
 
levelmymindbyfaith22

levelmymindbyfaith22

Member
#4
Apr 30, 2012
33
1
6
#4
Hello,

Well first i can say i can relate being a single parent. I have a little boy who is 3 and his father is not in the picture at all. He occasionally pops up once in a blue moon and sticks around for about 30 minutes or so and leaves. In total he has seen our son maybe 5 times out of his 3 years. I know what you mean about how difficult it is making decisions for a family of two and how it feels like you should be conversing it over with somone "The Man of the house." I find that when i am struggling i turn to God and just pray really hard about it. I know, like you mentioned God will meet my needs (everyones needs), but going through it is still a struggle. Just look back at everything Jesus had to go through. Look how much he struggled. But he knew what lied ahead and he didn't let it get to him. I was raised to worry and stress, but accrording to Gods word he tells us to have no fear, no anxieties to take them and lay them upon his shoulder and he will provide. HEBREWS 11:6 Life is lived forward by FAITH but is only understood lived backwards. Sometimes we don't know where the road leads but we follow through faith, knowing God has something even better than we could of ever imagine planned just for us. Like it says in the bible his plan is bigger than our own. I am not sure what changes are going on with you church, but pray about it. Maybe God wants you to stand up and take a new kind of leadership in that womans bible study. Blow their minds and really take a new edge on things. Shake it up in there, get it sturrin. Make them think and change them. Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes to see a situation and how things might need to change. Speak the truth, don't hide from it. If people are comfortable be straight forward and say hey i want to change things up because i feel we are all getting to comfortable in here. Maybe God is trying to tell you to take things in a different direction. Just pray about it. Also if you feel that won't work and that you must change churches for the better consult your son and say look sweetie I know you love your youth group but i feel like we need to try out a different church. Break it to him easy and just let him know he will make new friends and that if he doesn't like it you can try another church. I hope this advice helps. This is what i would do. But first and formost if you have been going to the church for a while and are just now having issues then face them head on and try like crazy to work it all out. Remember God will give you strength through this all. :)
 
levelmymindbyfaith22

levelmymindbyfaith22

Member
#5
Apr 30, 2012
33
1
6
#5
I agree here. Don't focus on what you don't have but focus on what you do have... There is that one prayer the serenity prayer it goes something like: God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. The courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time accepting hardship as a pathway to peace. Taking as jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right if i surrender to your will so that i may be happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.

You don't have a man right now. Well, so be it. I don't either. But i deal with it. i pray about it. And i know when the time is right when i least expect it a guy of godds choice will fly into my life and it will be everything i wanted and more. Just give it time. You are a strong woman.
 
M

Mazel

Guest
#6
#6
Thanks for the encouraging words! I definitely am not the type of woman to sit around and woe is me about not having a man. I am very independent, probably one of the reasons I am actually still single... haha... I hope I didn't come across as thinking I needed a man to make the decision for me. I only meant that in such big situations, life altering situations I wish I had a godly man/husband to talk things through. It's so ironic that you brought up change, levelmymindbyfaith, that is exactly what the situation is about. A proposal was brought about at church and voted on last night about a big change at our church. Our Pastor and other staff members presented this proposal over a month ago, we have held meetings, prayer times etc about the upcoming vote. The change was suggested as a way to better reach lost people in our community... it did not pass, the vote was a tie. I know as time goes I will figure out where God wants me, whether to keep working on the hearts of the people in my church or if in time He wants us to move somewhere where we can be used. I get very discouraged when people are content with being comfortable. I am a VERY shy person, but I have come to understand through the power of God, I can do anything God asks me to do, things I never dreamed, like leading a women's group. But I love it. Anyway, I think you are right, I think I will be going to my group and trying to see if we can shake things up on a smaller scale first, maybe the whole church can catch on soon!... Again thanks so much for all the input!
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#7
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#7
You do have a head of your household, God. :)
My mom raised 10 very difficult children without our dad, but my mom always lived all she did and brought to us by her faith and trust in Jesus, God Our Father.
We are all grown and doing well, a few burps here and there, but I and they live now because of her witness of faith, with the best father one could ever know, God Our Father !
There is no better head of one's home, or Father than God our Father, He is who I show thanks and praise to on Father's day and all days.
As to your church, rest in Jesus and you will have your answer. :)

God bless
pickles
 
levelmymindbyfaith22

levelmymindbyfaith22

Member
#8
Apr 30, 2012
33
1
6
#8
My Response: >>>>>You are very welcome. You should check out my post in the single parents thread about satan using lonliness against me. It might make you feel better. I knew what you meant and I completley understand that sometimes it is just nice to have someone there saying you are doing a good job or yeah that sounds good. Things like that. Ya know i use to be really shy, but then i realized one day that i could care less what people think about me. Now I only care about what God thinks about me in his eyes, because that is what matters. Right? :) Stay Strong and keep on praying. God will see you through these difficult times. Just remember that the devil is of confusion. You should get the book battlefield of the mind by joyce meyer. I have heard it is really good and am going to get it. It talks about retraining the way we think.You will have to look it up but anywho. I wish you the best.<<<<<<


Mazel said:
Thanks for the encouraging words! I definitely am not the type of woman to sit around and woe is me about not having a man. I am very independent, probably one of the reasons I am actually still single... haha... I hope I didn't come across as thinking I needed a man to make the decision for me. I only meant that in such big situations, life altering situations I wish I had a godly man/husband to talk things through. It's so ironic that you brought up change, levelmymindbyfaith, that is exactly what the situation is about. A proposal was brought about at church and voted on last night about a big change at our church. Our Pastor and other staff members presented this proposal over a month ago, we have held meetings, prayer times etc about the upcoming vote. The change was suggested as a way to better reach lost people in our community... it did not pass, the vote was a tie. I know as time goes I will figure out where God wants me, whether to keep working on the hearts of the people in my church or if in time He wants us to move somewhere where we can be used. I get very discouraged when people are content with being comfortable. I am a VERY shy person, but I have come to understand through the power of God, I can do anything God asks me to do, things I never dreamed, like leading a women's group. But I love it. Anyway, I think you are right, I think I will be going to my group and trying to see if we can shake things up on a smaller scale first, maybe the whole church can catch on soon!... Again thanks so much for all the input!
Click to expand...
 
Spartacus1122

Spartacus1122

Banned [Reason: insulting CC admin in previous pos
#9
Jun 9, 2012
276
1
0
#9
Single parenting can be done, it's just a lot more difficult and faces a lot more risks.

But many people have pulled it off, and so can you.
Become your kid's best friend, keep close to God, and be strong (stand your ground).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.