T
Timofree
Guest
My testimony began 27 years ago, before I was even born. God spoke to my mum, and told her I would be male, was to be called Timothy and that I would travel with the gospel. But for nearly 26 years it didn’t look like I'd become a Christian, never mind desire to be a missionary.
I was born into a family with Christian parents. I went to a Christian school from the age of 4 to 16, and until the age of 18 I went to church. It came as quite revolutionary when I discovered I didn’t have to go to church, great I thought, freedom at last!
I can go and find my true self in the world, and if that happened to involve women wine and song, great! I look younger then I’am, so going out drinking before I was 18 was more trouble than it was worth. But when I got to 18, with my passport in my pocket I went out with my friends. I did enjoy my time getting drunk, and chasing after, but more often than not missing out on the girl…..! But this didn’t provide much fulfilment, I loved football as well, and felt accepted there, I could get drunk and sing songs without worrying too much what others thought.
I wanted to settle down, and have a purpose in my life, just as long as that didn’t involve God. As much as I wanted to deny Gods existence and be an atheist, I couldn’t, I didn’t have the faith to believe we exploded out of nothing and evolved from apes. I knew without doubt if I died I was going to spend eternity in hell. A terrifying thought, but I suppose I loved sin more than I feared God.
So I continued getting drunk most weeks. A few years before I became a Christian I questioned the point of my life, I visited a counsellor and hypnotherapist a couple times, and said I feel trapped, I didn’t know how exactly, but it was like the real me wanted to break out. This provided short term peace, but left me with more questions than answers…….what if I’m one of the wicked people God has created for destruction, not knowing that at that minute had I asked Jesus to be my personal Saviour and forgive me, He would have.
These questions came to a head in 2009, my mum said there’s going to be a big change for you this year, “yeah whatever mum” was my thought, but with 1 day of the year to go, she was right, and I became a Christian.
2009 began with me seeing a girl, I knew this girl was wrong for me, but I felt the most complete I had been as a non-Christian. So I dragged out seeing her for a few months, but that ended in tears, and with it some of my trust died. I had been relying on friends and circumstances to affirm me, and through the year various things collapsed around me like a pack of cards. Up until 2009 I had put off taking illegal drugs, but one time in the summer I thought, why not. So I took some ketamine, a horse tranquillizer. It felt amazing, but it wore off, so I took some more, and was sat in a corner drifting out of consciousness. Afterwards I was really sick, and once the drug had worn off, I thought yes, that was great, but is that all there is?? Would the sum of my life now be taking horse tranquillizer, and probably an early grave. That wasn’t quite enough for me to seek God, I had a few more nights out left in me.
In 2009 I felt some pains in my liver, so I went to the doctor, and she told me nothing was wrong, and I could keep on drinking as I was. I was shocked, I expected some kind of advice.
For my birthday I invited people for an annual drinking session, loads said they’d come, but at the start of the night only 1 turned up. Wow ok, now I really can’t go on like this, why am I running I thought! On my birthday night out, me and my friend got talking, I said I believed in God, and would like to become a Christian, well why don’t you my friend said. *ding* it struck me like a revelation…..the cogs were turning, but it was new years soon, I can become a Christian after one last session.
God had other ideas, the ultimate night was planned for new years, an Old Skool 90’s free warehouse rave. Even typing it now I can feel some of the excitement! However the night before I read a tract called ‘ultimate questions’, at the end there was a prayer to ask Jesus to be my Saviour, I had prayed this before, but now I actually believed, and wanted to know Jesus. So I prayed, confessed my sin, said I trusted in Jesus death to pay for my sins, and I wept, and I prayed, but nothing, I didn’t feel different. And there was no voice from heaven, was I really saved?
I didn’t believe I was, but I had a new awareness of my sin, and had a new desire not to go out new years eve, so instead I joined my parents at a church house party, the next morning I found out the warehouse rave had been cancelled, just one of the many ‘coincidences’ that have followed my Christian life.
It has not been as easy as I had expected, and all problems didn’t just disappear, but I now have the purpose, life and peace I once longed for. And with God’s help I want to carry out His will in my life, whatever that is.
The feeling I got when God gave me His promised baptism of the Holy Spirit, a few months after conversion was of such un-describable love, peace and joy, I felt so close to God. But at the same time the thought came, even if when I die I find out I, and millions of other Christians had been deceived, and God doesn’t exist. I wouldn’t regret living, and if needs be dying for the awesome God I had imagined and experienced. I love God, but not as much as He loves me, and you! PRAISE.THE.LORD Amen
I was born into a family with Christian parents. I went to a Christian school from the age of 4 to 16, and until the age of 18 I went to church. It came as quite revolutionary when I discovered I didn’t have to go to church, great I thought, freedom at last!
I can go and find my true self in the world, and if that happened to involve women wine and song, great! I look younger then I’am, so going out drinking before I was 18 was more trouble than it was worth. But when I got to 18, with my passport in my pocket I went out with my friends. I did enjoy my time getting drunk, and chasing after, but more often than not missing out on the girl…..! But this didn’t provide much fulfilment, I loved football as well, and felt accepted there, I could get drunk and sing songs without worrying too much what others thought.
I wanted to settle down, and have a purpose in my life, just as long as that didn’t involve God. As much as I wanted to deny Gods existence and be an atheist, I couldn’t, I didn’t have the faith to believe we exploded out of nothing and evolved from apes. I knew without doubt if I died I was going to spend eternity in hell. A terrifying thought, but I suppose I loved sin more than I feared God.
So I continued getting drunk most weeks. A few years before I became a Christian I questioned the point of my life, I visited a counsellor and hypnotherapist a couple times, and said I feel trapped, I didn’t know how exactly, but it was like the real me wanted to break out. This provided short term peace, but left me with more questions than answers…….what if I’m one of the wicked people God has created for destruction, not knowing that at that minute had I asked Jesus to be my personal Saviour and forgive me, He would have.
These questions came to a head in 2009, my mum said there’s going to be a big change for you this year, “yeah whatever mum” was my thought, but with 1 day of the year to go, she was right, and I became a Christian.
2009 began with me seeing a girl, I knew this girl was wrong for me, but I felt the most complete I had been as a non-Christian. So I dragged out seeing her for a few months, but that ended in tears, and with it some of my trust died. I had been relying on friends and circumstances to affirm me, and through the year various things collapsed around me like a pack of cards. Up until 2009 I had put off taking illegal drugs, but one time in the summer I thought, why not. So I took some ketamine, a horse tranquillizer. It felt amazing, but it wore off, so I took some more, and was sat in a corner drifting out of consciousness. Afterwards I was really sick, and once the drug had worn off, I thought yes, that was great, but is that all there is?? Would the sum of my life now be taking horse tranquillizer, and probably an early grave. That wasn’t quite enough for me to seek God, I had a few more nights out left in me.
In 2009 I felt some pains in my liver, so I went to the doctor, and she told me nothing was wrong, and I could keep on drinking as I was. I was shocked, I expected some kind of advice.
For my birthday I invited people for an annual drinking session, loads said they’d come, but at the start of the night only 1 turned up. Wow ok, now I really can’t go on like this, why am I running I thought! On my birthday night out, me and my friend got talking, I said I believed in God, and would like to become a Christian, well why don’t you my friend said. *ding* it struck me like a revelation…..the cogs were turning, but it was new years soon, I can become a Christian after one last session.
God had other ideas, the ultimate night was planned for new years, an Old Skool 90’s free warehouse rave. Even typing it now I can feel some of the excitement! However the night before I read a tract called ‘ultimate questions’, at the end there was a prayer to ask Jesus to be my Saviour, I had prayed this before, but now I actually believed, and wanted to know Jesus. So I prayed, confessed my sin, said I trusted in Jesus death to pay for my sins, and I wept, and I prayed, but nothing, I didn’t feel different. And there was no voice from heaven, was I really saved?
I didn’t believe I was, but I had a new awareness of my sin, and had a new desire not to go out new years eve, so instead I joined my parents at a church house party, the next morning I found out the warehouse rave had been cancelled, just one of the many ‘coincidences’ that have followed my Christian life.
It has not been as easy as I had expected, and all problems didn’t just disappear, but I now have the purpose, life and peace I once longed for. And with God’s help I want to carry out His will in my life, whatever that is.
The feeling I got when God gave me His promised baptism of the Holy Spirit, a few months after conversion was of such un-describable love, peace and joy, I felt so close to God. But at the same time the thought came, even if when I die I find out I, and millions of other Christians had been deceived, and God doesn’t exist. I wouldn’t regret living, and if needs be dying for the awesome God I had imagined and experienced. I love God, but not as much as He loves me, and you! PRAISE.THE.LORD Amen
