Trouble with deciding which friends to keep

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Lily1717jm

Guest
#1
#1
For a while I've been feeling left out of my usual 'friend group'. I've told one of my good friends that is in that group how I felt and she doesnt seem to think so at all. She also hasn't helped trying to include me on anything either. They all go to church and listen to christian music and everything. They all talk about one of the other girls that usually can't hang out with us anymore. It makes me wonder if they say anything about me. Also another one of the girls is pretty much cheating on her boyfriend who is such a great guy. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this and my family is probably sick of hearing about it haha but I can't just leave them altogether because we've been great friends for 3 years now, I dont want to completely block them from my life. I just don't know what to do. (sorry that was super long)
 
shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#2
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
30
48
29
#2
The best friends you can have are the ones who recognize you and love you for you and want the best for you. Your 'group' doesn't seem to be like good company to me and if you continue hanging out with them, even you will change. You may have been with them for many years but what will determine your 'value' to others is your character. God bless
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
This is a common trait i see in women often. I must confess i do not understand it. So many times i hear women complain about someone, or a group, and they all say the same thing 'but i don't want to lose their friendship'. I think this creates a lot of problems for women, because it puts huge limitations on your options if you insist you need to keep this person/people in your life.
Personally, i think you need to rethink this belief and what your real priorities are. I am the type that if a person calls me friend, their behavior should reflect it. Once i begin having reasons to question their sincerity or motives, i begin rethinking if this is a person i really want in my life at all. I'd rather be alone than have friends who i have to question if they're really a friend or not, or where they mistreat me. If a 'friend' is bad for me, i move on.
 
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loveme1

Senior Member
#4
Oct 30, 2011
8,087
190
63
#4
Lily1717jm said:
For a while I've been feeling left out of my usual 'friend group'. I've told one of my good friends that is in that group how I felt and she doesnt seem to think so at all. She also hasn't helped trying to include me on anything either. They all go to church and listen to christian music and everything. They all talk about one of the other girls that usually can't hang out with us anymore. It makes me wonder if they say anything about me. Also another one of the girls is pretty much cheating on her boyfriend who is such a great guy. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this and my family is probably sick of hearing about it haha but I can't just leave them altogether because we've been great friends for 3 years now, I dont want to completely block them from my life. I just don't know what to do. (sorry that was super long)
Click to expand...

You can remain friends with them, even when you do not spend much time together.

Talking about one and other is not fruitful, we can all remember the time we were guilty of being the "gossiper" of our childhood group...

You could stop considering being left out by them, and look for new friends that you could spend some of your time with.

The more you consider them "excluding" you, the worse you will feel about it.

I'm sure there are other people out there that would appreciate a new friend to spend time with.

Pray to Yahvah God and Yahshua the Messiah for strength to remain the "good friend" to all.


Peace and Blessings always in the name of Yahvah God and Yahshua the Messiah.
 
Hutchy

Hutchy

Banned
#5
Dec 19, 2011
36
0
0
#5
It could be worse, they might just say they don't want to be your friends. no matter how big or little friends are friends.
 
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SantoSubito

Guest
#6
#6
Your in High School and as much as I hate to say it these kinds of things are common. Generally friends you've had often go of with different groups of people than the ones they entered HS with. I entered HS with a group of friends I've had since 5th grade and by the end of my sophomore year all but one of them had split off into other groups and I had to form a new group of friends.

This usually happens in your freshman year of college as well (as I've found out).
 
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Chanson

Guest
#7
#7
I don't know how to reply to such questions... I think I can only say, that God is always the best counsellor...
 
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GodsDaughter20

Guest
#8
#8
Well I am goingto be honest with you, if they are your true friends than they would make you feel like part of the group. And obviously they are not doing that so now you have a choice to make. Because if things keep going they way they are then you are going to start seeing a change in yourself. And you seem like such a good person so you need to decide if they are really your true friends or not. Because if they were they would act like it and not make you feel left out.
 
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Brookelovesyou

Guest
#9
#9
Im going through the same type of thing.. What I've been doing is praying, alot, and also asking some of the friends who are closer to me what I should do..
 
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aprilandkeion

Guest
#10
#10
man is unique we all have different characteristics, if you see something wrong with your friends then tell them the truth and pray for them that God will renew and purify their heart, were not here to LIKE people Jesus didnt said "like one another" but said "LOVE ONE ANOTHER" we are here to help imperfect people just like us to strengthen our faith...
 
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AdorableNoel

Guest
#11
#11
A friend helps you grow and mature in christ. You learn from each other, and respect one another. If they arent doing that then they arent your friends, but it's still okay to be nice to them and help them. If you havent heard them say anything about you, then dont question it.. but if youre around them when theyre talking about others youre just as bad for listening and not asking them to stop & remember God. Going to church and listening to christian music doesnt mean they have good hearts, watch their actions and their words and decide for yourself, but dont judge them-thats God' job.

Lily1717jm said:
For a while I've been feeling left out of my usual 'friend group'. I've told one of my good friends that is in that group how I felt and she doesnt seem to think so at all. She also hasn't helped trying to include me on anything either. They all go to church and listen to christian music and everything. They all talk about one of the other girls that usually can't hang out with us anymore. It makes me wonder if they say anything about me. Also another one of the girls is pretty much cheating on her boyfriend who is such a great guy. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this and my family is probably sick of hearing about it haha but I can't just leave them altogether because we've been great friends for 3 years now, I dont want to completely block them from my life. I just don't know what to do. (sorry that was super long)
Click to expand...
 
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forevergrieving1986

Guest
#12
#12
True friends include you and try their best not to make you feel excluded. And if they are gossiping about one another, this isn't good, though it is seen a lot in groups of women. The best you can do, is try to make new friends who can make you feel better about yourself, and who can help you grow. You are young still and better friends will come along with age. Hope this helps!
 
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angel1581

Guest
#13
#13
Hiya, this happened to me a few years ago, actually I was only a little older than you when it did, I went to a church and the friends I had went there too, great group of friends and things started happening, talking behind peoples backs, boy started cheating on his gf, infact the gf became so stressed out she lost her hair bless her, all I would say is try to be the back bone of the group, if you don't want to leave because they are your friends, encourage everyone to pray together, absolutely pray for them as well, but God will soon enough give you reason to stay in the group or leave it, I'll pray for you too, because I know it can be so hard to stand up to friends or make yourself heard, try to encourage a more respecting attitude, I know its hard but, well done for noticing the problems and not just accepting them and going along with them! Praise God that your eyes are opened, and I pray that he also opens your friends eyes!
God bless you and hope all turns out well :)
 
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