Trust Issues

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shortpggh

Guest
#1
#1
I'm having some trust issues with my husband. We have been married for just over 3 yrs. I have recently discovered that he has been on sites that I don't feel are right for a married man to be on. He has also contacted one person by phone and I have confronted him with that and he has stopped. Although, we have disscused the situation, I'm not 100% convienced that hes not still talking to or going to those sites. I know he has not physically done anything and therefore he has not "cheated" on me as defined the the Bible, but I still feel that emotionally and mentally he has. How do I deal with this or talk with him more about this?
Please help.....In Christ
 
C

Child

Guest
#2
#2
I always start by saying that I'm not a Christian before I give people advice on this site.
Hm, now that that is out of the way...
I suggest that you sit down with him and hold his hand and say that you're scared.
Then he'll reply and say "Why, darling?" Then you can say "I just feel that we're not seeing eye to eye on this topic and I love you and I think we should respect each others opinion on this."

That's...possibly how I would put it...if I thought about it first! Lol. I 'd probably yell before thinking. x}
 
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Baptistrw

Guest
#3
#3
Child said:
I always start by saying that I'm not a Christian before I give people advice on this site.
Hm, now that that is out of the way...
I suggest that you sit down with him and hold his hand and say that you're scared.
Then he'll reply and say "Why, darling?" Then you can say "I just feel that we're not seeing eye to eye on this topic and I love you and I think we should respect each others opinion on this."

That's...possibly how I would put it...if I thought about it first! Lol. I 'd probably yell before thinking. x}
Click to expand...
Why aren't you a Christian?
 
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Baptistrw

Guest
#4
#4
shortpggh said:
I'm having some trust issues with my husband. We have been married for just over 3 yrs. I have recently discovered that he has been on sites that I don't feel are right for a married man to be on. He has also contacted one person by phone and I have confronted him with that and he has stopped. Although, we have disscused the situation, I'm not 100% convienced that hes not still talking to or going to those sites. I know he has not physically done anything and therefore he has not "cheated" on me as defined the the Bible, but I still feel that emotionally and mentally he has. How do I deal with this or talk with him more about this?
Please help.....In Christ
Click to expand...
You can check the history of websites he's been on. You might also consider installing a website filter. But you should definitely talk to him about it. Maybe have a counseling session with your Pastor as well with you and your husband.
 
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NoahsMom

Guest
#5
#5
You can always state your concerns to him, and ask how he would feel given the situation were reversed, as in you goin to sites he didnt think appropriate for a married woman, and contacting ppl by phone, theres some food for thought.
 
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Bechou

Guest
#6
#6
Hi

I've been married for almost one year and will recommend the talking to him in the calmest of tones, with loving gestures.
Make it clear in your speech that you highlight that he is precious to you and the idea that he might be breaking away from you, scares you.
He needs to be reminded that he is your protector on earth, and that he is the only man you want to trust more than you trust yourself.
Ask him why he does what he does. Explain how you feel when he does that. Tell him that you need to understand, in order to be able to be at peace with him and consequently trust him.

When you speak in love, he will hear you.

God bless
 
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followerofchrist

Guest
#8
#8
trust is the foundation of a relationship,and without it a relationship will die. i do not know you and your husbands belief in Christ but i will tell you is that no matter what you need to place your trust/faith in God first. God will show you a solution. he says that he will remain faithful and never foresake you. i think you should sit down with your husband after spending some serious time in prayer in the Lord and lay it all out on the table to your husband. if he does not agree to respect you and your feelings then it's time for you to care of yourself and do what you have to even if its hard. because according to God if you have cheated in your mind it is JUST as bad as cheated physically. so him looking at dirty site on the internet or having inapprioate conversations with other women is not acceptable by our Father. i will pray for you and your husband, ireccomond you continue to do the same.
God bless you
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#9
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#9
followerofchrist said:
trust is the foundation of a relationship,and without it a relationship will die. i do not know you and your husbands belief in Christ but i will tell you is that no matter what you need to place your trust/faith in God first. God will show you a solution. he says that he will remain faithful and never foresake you. i think you should sit down with your husband after spending some serious time in prayer in the Lord and lay it all out on the table to your husband. if he does not agree to respect you and your feelings then it's time for you to care of yourself and do what you have to even if its hard. because according to God if you have cheated in your mind it is JUST as bad as cheated physically. so him looking at dirty site on the internet or having inapprioate conversations with other women is not acceptable by our Father. i will pray for you and your husband, ireccomond you continue to do the same.
God bless you
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good advice!!!
 
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followerofchrist

Guest
#10
#10
glory be to God. i am no more than a tool for him to use
 
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ariannaaa

Guest
#11
#11
im so sorry that you're going through this! i can imagine how hard that would be.

i think that as women we're supposed to be our husband's (not that i have one yet, but when i do!) biggest cheerleaders! I think that many times in situations like these women tend to be upset so they approach the situation in a negative or judgemental light, (not that thats what you're doing, though) when really they need our encouragement!

i really agree with bechou's advice. love on him, secure him in your appreciation for him, and ask him how you can be a better wife! im sure you're a wonderful, wonderful, wife. but such a humble attitude can really break people sometimes.

good luck love! ill be praying for you.
 
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