What do we do

[pickles]

Three months ago my 25 yr old son moved across the state to be with a woman that is 42 yrs of age and wiccan, that he met on line. We were devistated. We do not know her name, have never met her and do not know where they live. She refused to meet us because she was sure we would be mean to her, and she has gone through so much already, according to my son. Before this my son had excellent values and we were a close knit family. Yesterday my son txd me to say that he and this woman are engaged. I have not responded to him yet. I have no clue what to say and do not want to give this woman more ammo to cause an even greater division in our family. There is no way we can approve of this marriage. The whole thing has been decietfull since the beginning. I know that unless Jesus shows me how that we cannot stop this marriage. But because of the lies, all the family treasures, photos, ect can never be trusted to them. All the wonderful things we hoped for our son have now been destroyed. My heart is breaking over the fear I have for him. He is a sweet, careing and protective man that I believe in my heart is being decieved.
I have put this in prayer before Jesus. I would like to ask all of you young and old what you can offer in wisdom or expeariance that will help us in deciding what to do. We are at a loss. I believe we need to be honest about how we feel but I fear this woman will use it to devide us more. When praying it came to me that you sometimes have to be willing to lose the one you love in order to save them. I will tell my son this too. So now we pray and hope that we will be able to see him soon, and before he makes such a grave mistake.
Whatever you can share will be a help. Sometimes the perspective of one not close to the situation is your best help.
Thankyou and Godbless, pickles

 

[oopsies]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this right now.

I don't know how you've been trying to convince him that he's wrong. Maybe you're trying too hard? I do know this. There are times when my parents are too protective and I feel closed-in, unable to walk my own path with God. Could he be responding in this manner directly to your earnestness? Like a push and a pull? Maybe you can try a different tactic? If you've been on the offensive, maybe you can try, "Look, we can't and won't endorse this but this is your journey with God, not ours. We do want the best for you but you're going to have to decide what is right with God. We do hope you'll at least turn to the Bible and pray before you get married. If you want to talk about it, you know we're just a phone-call away."

Other than that, keep praying and I'll pray for your family too. At the end of the day, it is his journey and only God can change his heart.

Edit: I should add, maybe this is God's direct instruction to him? I mean, God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute so that he could carry out his special plan/prophecy. Has your son told you why he's doing this?

 

[concernedguy]

Three months ago my 25 yr old son moved across the state to be with a woman that is 42 yrs of age and wiccan, that he met on line. We were devistated. We do not know her name, have never met her and do not know where they live. She refused to meet us because she was sure we would be mean to her, and she has gone through so much already, according to my son. Before this my son had excellent values and we were a close knit family. Yesterday my son txd me to say that he and this woman are engaged. I have not responded to him yet. I have no clue what to say and do not want to give this woman more ammo to cause an even greater division in our family. There is no way we can approve of this marriage. The whole thing has been decietfull since the beginning. I know that unless Jesus shows me how that we cannot stop this marriage. But because of the lies, all the family treasures, photos, ect can never be trusted to them. All the wonderful things we hoped for our son have now been destroyed. My heart is breaking over the fear I have for him. He is a sweet, careing and protective man that I believe in my heart is being decieved.
I have put this in prayer before Jesus. I would like to ask all of you young and old what you can offer in wisdom or expeariance that will help us in deciding what to do. We are at a loss. I believe we need to be honest about how we feel but I fear this woman will use it to devide us more. When praying it came to me that you sometimes have to be willing to lose the one you love in order to save them. I will tell my son this too. So now we pray and hope that we will be able to see him soon, and before he makes such a grave mistake.
Whatever you can share will be a help. Sometimes the perspective of one not close to the situation is your best help.
Thankyou and Godbless, pickles

This can't be God's Will. As God says What hath Light to do with darkness?

God's Word says no Christian is allowed to marry a non-Christian under The New Covenant as we are.
God deals directly with each person today and not as He had to in the Old Testament because Jesus
had not come yet to open the door between us and God.

You said you taught him right. God's Promise is that His Word will never come back fruitless. Take
comfort in God's Promise. His Word you instilled in your son will do its work. Sometimes kids need
to get to the end of their self before they will listen to you or anyone. From what you have said,
you have put everything in place that God needs to turn him around. It may be a few months or
it might be a few years. But my experience with God is once God lets him go so far, God steps in
and though the price is usually high, it will teach Him a lesson he won't soon forget. When God
steps in, he will have no choice but to hear.
Its heart breaking, but God won't fail you. Since what he is doing is breaking God's Laws to have
a relationship with this lady, he has a hard road ahead of him. Once God does step in, He will
need your support. Just pray for him and be ready when he needs you. When God turns
someone around, He usually turns then hard.

 

[oopsies]

This can't be God's Will.

Not to butcher this emotional thread but we do not know. We know what is right and what is wrong and what is expected of us as Christians but at the end of the day we don't know God's Will.

@pickles: I think you've done an admiral job holding on and trying hard to get your son to open his eyes. I believe that you've really done everything you can do as a person. Just pray. Let go and put your trust and faith in God.

 

[pickles]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this right now.

I don't know how you've been trying to convince him that he's wrong. Maybe you're trying too hard? I do know this. There are times when my parents are too protective and I feel closed-in, unable to walk my own path with God. Could he be responding in this manner directly to your earnestness? Like a push and a pull? Maybe you can try a different tactic? If you've been on the offensive, maybe you can try, "Look, we can't and won't endorse this but this is your journey with God, not ours. We do want the best for you but you're going to have to decide what is right with God. We do hope you'll at least turn to the Bible and pray before you get married. If you want to talk about it, you know we're just a phone-call away."

Other than that, keep praying and I'll pray for your family too. At the end of the day, it is his journey and only God can change his heart.

Edit: I should add, maybe this is God's direct instruction to him? I mean, God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute so that he could carry out his special plan/prophecy. Has your son told you why he's doing this?

Thankyou oopsies, Right from the beginning we stepped back and let him make his own desissions. We have always believed that you teach by example. All we said to him was to be carefull in his choice. Also to be sure your heart is right with Jesus. Other than that we have only done what we can to help if asked. I truelly believe this woman has him decieved, although we would never say such to him. I dont want him to think we dont respect his intelligence. Who ever this woman is, she has made sure he is kept there and we no nothing about her. If it was just about age I believe that I would feel better about all this. But it has been the lies that concern us. When we asked early on when we would meet her? My son said she did not want to because we would be mean to her. We did not know her age or anything then and had no reason to be disproving. All we can do is trust in Jesus and hope our son shows widom. I know he had been lonely before, so open to all of this. When one is decietful before given reason, you then have to be far more worried.Thank you again oopsies, we will be carefull not to impose our own choices on him. God bless, pickles

 

[pickles]

This can't be God's Will. As God says What hath Light to do with darkness?

God's Word says no Christian is allowed to marry a non-Christian under The New Covenant as we are.
God deals directly with each person today and not as He had to in the Old Testament because Jesus
had not come yet to open the door between us and God.

You said you taught him right. God's Promise is that His Word will never come back fruitless. Take
comfort in God's Promise. His Word you instilled in your son will do its work. Sometimes kids need
to get to the end of their self before they will listen to you or anyone. From what you have said,
you have put everything in place that God needs to turn him around. It may be a few months or
it might be a few years. But my experience with God is once God lets him go so far, God steps in
and though the price is usually high, it will teach Him a lesson he won't soon forget. When God
steps in, he will have no choice but to hear.
Its heart breaking, but God won't fail you. Since what he is doing is breaking God's Laws to have
a relationship with this lady, he has a hard road ahead of him. Once God does step in, He will
need your support. Just pray for him and be ready when he needs you. When God turns
someone around, He usually turns then hard.

Thankyou concernedguy, what you have said is what I have felt when praying. To stand back and let Jesus work on him. I sence that no matter what we say this woman will use it against us. The message that has stood out, has been that sometimes you have to be willing to lose the one you love , to save them.
Thankou for your help ,comfort and prayers. God bless, pickles

 

[oopsies]

pickles, we'll keep praying for you and your son. Hope things will go well, hugs.

 

[ariannaaa]

wow pickles you're such a prayer warrior for others and look at the burden you're carrying yourself. your family will be in my prayers.

 

[pickles]

wow pickles you're such a prayer warrior for others and look at the burden you're carrying yourself. your family will be in my prayers.

Thankyou ariannaaa, God bless, pickles

 

[Kathleen]

Yourself and your family are in my prayers

 

[pickles]

Thankyou and Godbless, pickles

 

[Sparkling_Tears]

Pray,not just you and your husband,but you should get your friends and church involved in praying. Add your son
to your church's prayer list. I will pray for not only your son,but you,your family,and the Woman(I'll pray that she'll have
a change of heart,and turn to Jesus). I wouldn't say anything unkind to your son because it would just push him farther
away.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
God Bless- Sparkling Tears

 

[pickles]

Pray,not just you and your husband,but you should get your friends and church involved in praying. Add your son
to your church's prayer list. I will pray for not only your son,but you,your family,and the Woman(I'll pray that she'll have
a change of heart,and turn to Jesus). I wouldn't say anything unkind to your son because it would just push him farther
away.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
God Bless- Sparkling Tears

Thankyou sparkling tears. We have just put all of this in Jesus's hands. After are last conversation with him we knew we had to back away and trust in Jesus. I know my son's heart and trust in it.
Thankyou and all for your help and prayers.
God bless, pickles

 

[Graybeard]

Thankyou sparkling tears. We have just put all of this in Jesus's hands. After are last conversation with him we knew we had to back away and trust in Jesus. I know my son's heart and trust in it.
Thankyou and all for your help and prayers.
God bless, pickles

Pickles I am of the opinion that that is all you can do, just continue to show him AND his girlfriend Godly love.

 

[loveschild]

What happened with your son pickles?

 

[pickles]

Thankyou for asking loveschild.
He is still living with her. They say they are engaged. All we can do is continue to pray.
We finally met her over christmas.
She is a very confused, person. Her hold on my son is her victem personality that wants always to be protected.
My hope in Jesus is my sons eyes will open.
I also pray for her salvation.
But we soon came to see that if we say anything she uses it as a weapon against us.
So we took a step back and hope through prayer in Jesus.
So please continue to pray.
Thankyou and God less, pickles

 

[Moviefan2k4]

Pickles,

I just prayed for you, your son, his girlfriend, and both your families. I went through a similar situation (albeit with a much smaller age difference) a few years ago, and I just pray that God will do whatever is needed for everyone involved. I pray that hope, peace, joy, and faith cover all of you from head to toe, and that anyone in this who isn't a follower of Jesus will be led back to Him.

 

[Wootie]

Pickles, it is so hard to let go and let God. I feel that you have instilled all you can into your son and now you have to let God convict him and his fiancee in this matter. It is so hard to see your child walk into a buring building, but they do feel the heat before they enter completely. I will keep you in my prayers and you have done exactly what God wanted you to do. Now let god take it from here.

Stephanie

 

[greatkraw]

keep the communication channels open

there is nothing you can tell him that he has not already been told or thought of himself

sometimes all we can do is be around to pick up the pieces