What If Someone You Knew ONLY says, "Sorry I Hurt You"?

[Sculpt]

What If Someone You Knew ONLY says, "Sorry I Hurt You"? That is to say, you don't know specifically what they're sorry about doing.

Generic Person
Let's start with what you think a christian ought to do (biblically) when someone you know says to you, "Sorry I hurt you." and you're not sure what they're sorry about (and you can think of plenty of things it could be)? We are not talking about when someone accidentally bumps into you and knocks you down, but instead any sort of improper social behavior.

Are you required to say, "I forgive you", and would it be wrong for you to ask them what specifically their sorry about? And what do you do if they refuse to say specifically what they're sorry about, where they'd say, "I'm just sorry I hurt you."


Specific Person Scenario
Now what do you think a christian ought to do (biblically) when someone, who says they are a christian, who you used to date, and you want to stay away from them because they don't know how to be a friend/decent person, says to you, "Sorry I hurt you.", and it's been a while since you've talked to them? You know people change, very rarely, but it happens, especially if they're a christian. If you think it's good for the both of you, is it ok to press them on what it is specifically that they are sorry about? Or is that rude and petty? What ought you do if they won't give any specifics, and they just want some sort of white-wash forgiveness, and they want to be your friend?

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

Personally, I do not see any real difference in the two scenarios that you presented, so my answer applies to both of them.

In my experience, if someone is truly sorry that they hurt you, then they will make sure that you know exactly what they are sorry for. If they will not give any specifics, then, to me, it is just a way for them to appease their own guilty conscience without any genuine remorse or sorrow.

 

[Lynx]

Blind venison.

No-eye deer.

I have no idea.

I'd have to talk to the person. If he kept refusing to tell me what he did, I'd look at him funny and say something along the lines of "I don't know what you're talking about and you're starting to worry me" and walk away.

 

[cinder]

Puts me in mind of the distinction between sorry you did something or sorry you got caught and had to suffer the consequences.

Beyond that there's several possible interpretations, but if that person is no longer part of my life then I'll probably just tell them I've moved on and gotten over it and that's the end of it. Unless there's some reason that I'm going to have to interact with said person again, trying to resurrect that relationship is more trouble than it's worth.

 

[notmyown]

forgiveness is an act of compassion. you don't forgive because the other person deserves it.

that said, trust is a whole 'nother matter.

 

[Lanolin]

maybe the specific person scenario is just trying to open a convo so that both sides know whatever happened was a big ol' misunderstanding and let bygones be bygones. Doesn't mean you have to date them again, just that for one or both parties they can have peace of mind and you can be easy on each other rather than try and avoid them. You know just be normal, civilised people.