What is the Christian way to deal with being cheated on?

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cocopuff94

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My boyfriend cheated on me yesterday, but he told me immediately and asked for forgiveness. I tried looking up what to do in the Bible but all the verses on relationships seem to be about marriage so they are difficult to apply. It's also difficult because I know God doesn't want anyone to be sexually involved at all before marriage, with your gf/bf or anyone else.

He is a Christian and I am thinking about becoming one, so I would like to handle this in a Christian way if possible. I just don't know what that is. Does God want me to just forgive him, or get out of the relationship because it's unhealthy, or what? Please help!
 
Forgiveness and trust aren't the same thing. He violated you. It's a form of abuse. You have to process the pain that you feel. You can try it with him and see how he responds. Apply some pressure on him to see what his character is.
 
Dating has no biblical basis. Only marriage is discussed.
My personal thought is if he's cheated before marriage how does that bode well for the future? I hear many things from people who say their spouse cheated on them while they were dating and forgave them and then cheated after marriage.
Im sure there are situations where that isn't the case but seems to be more common.
Think about the future and ask yourself if this is something you will be comfortable with in marriage.

Also are you thinking of becoming a Christian because your boyfriend is? Or because its something you would do even if you don't date him? Because if you are only doing so because he is then that isn't genuine. You will not be a real Christian. it will only be a facade.
 
cocopuff94 said:
My boyfriend cheated on me yesterday, but he told me immediately and asked for forgiveness. I tried looking up what to do in the Bible but all the verses on relationships seem to be about marriage so they are difficult to apply. It's also difficult because I know God doesn't want anyone to be sexually involved at all before marriage, with your gf/bf or anyone else.

He is a Christian and I am thinking about becoming one, so I would like to handle this in a Christian way if possible. I just don't know what that is. Does God want me to just forgive him, or get out of the relationship because it's unhealthy, or what? Please help!
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You can end the relationship and still forgive him.
 
Personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated (even while just dating). Like GodIsSalvation said, you can forgive him and also end the relationship. If he has already betrayed you in a minor relationship, can you expect commitment on a major relationship that lasts for life?
 
First off, Forgiveness would be ideal. Matthew 18 teaches us that each time we are asked to forgive, we need to forgive. Not just for that other person, but because the anger and hurt will boil inside of us.

Second, Forgiveness does not mean that you should stay. Its hard, in relationships we develop such a bond with someone. They become our best friends, our love, our life; little things that happen you instantly want to share with them. And when that relationship goes through a breakup, or dishonesty it destroys us. ..I have always thought of relationships as a test for marriage. Its when we are looking for quality's we value and desire in a union. Are these characters you want? That you are willing to endure if and when it happens again?

I've been in similar relationship, he cheated on me multiple times, and when I found out I forgave him and stayed. He broke up with me Friday because I wouldn't be sexual with him.

Its really hard to know what to do, when you love someone with every ounce of your body. But really try and think about how you feel, how he feels, what you both want in life and that relationship before moving deciding to move forward. Trust is the soil in which love, faith, friendship, and futures grow out of; when its tainted its really hard (not impossible) to get back to a healthy place. And it will never be the same, you will always have a seed of doubt.
 
Ugly said:
Dating has no biblical basis. Only marriage is discussed.
My personal thought is if he's cheated before marriage how does that bode well for the future? I hear many things from people who say their spouse cheated on them while they were dating and forgave them and then cheated after marriage.
Im sure there are situations where that isn't the case but seems to be more common.
Think about the future and ask yourself if this is something you will be comfortable with in marriage.

Also are you thinking of becoming a Christian because your boyfriend is? Or because its something you would do even if you don't date him? Because if you are only doing so because he is then that isn't genuine. You will not be a real Christian. it will only be a facade.
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This. ^

Ugly is wise and knows much
 
cocopuff94 said:
My boyfriend cheated on me yesterday, but he told me immediately and asked for forgiveness. I tried looking up what to do in the Bible but all the verses on relationships seem to be about marriage so they are difficult to apply. It's also difficult because I know God doesn't want anyone to be sexually involved at all before marriage, with your gf/bf or anyone else.

He is a Christian and I am thinking about becoming one, so I would like to handle this in a Christian way if possible. I just don't know what that is. Does God want me to just forgive him, or get out of the relationship because it's unhealthy, or what? Please help!
Click to expand...

That cheating is a LIE. And lying is not loving people well.

ps

if both were married, how do u know the next step?
 
if anyone told me this: "I've been in similar relationship, he cheated on me multiple times, and when I found out I forgave him and stayed. He broke up with me Friday because I wouldn't be sexual with him. "

i will listen.
 
speaking from recent experience. my girlfriend, who I was about to propose to cheated on me weekly for a year and it didn't come to rise till after I got the ring. Its hard to truly forgive someone after they cheat. I say try to forgive him but if there is a second time move forward and find the one who you were ment to be with. its not an easy road as a Christian these days especially as young adults and adults. this world may have been made for us but it is not guided by us anymore and relationships are no different. stay strong and keep God close by your side and all will get better
 
Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. I have learned this from personal experience. Forgive him, but end the relationship and move on. You deserve alot better than what this bum has given you. Other posters here have given great advice. God has someone better for you. :)
 
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