What Kind of Husband Do You Want?

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Apr 15, 2022
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What we see in ourselves and the way we see ourselves is not often the way others see us. What we think should work or is good may not be... or, we may have those traits that are indeed good, but are blind to other intolerable faults -- no matter how much someone may point them out to us. And, those things keep us single.

Sometimes, I also think God just says 'no'. So, no matter what you do, you will not succeed.

I was thinking something along those very lines.

I used to be the kind of guy that was the "straight-gay" friend. I no longer need to be that and won't be. Has it gotten me hitched? No. Nothing I've done has. I either have one of those intolerable faults or God has simply said 'no' (must be the latter, since I am otherwise too wonderful :D which I say with all due humility). But, one thing I do have is a little more self-respect than I had in my 20s. And, if I see you as a woman and not merely as a platonic friend, I will not accept you as the latter.

I don't know if this answers your post in any kind of helpful way.
I think some people's natural ability to bond with the opposite sex becomes disrupted by something or other-- maybe childhood abuse, bullying, bad experiences with the opposite sex, any number of things-- and that when that happens, relationships become confusing or/and intimidating.

Being a "straight-gay" friend is unnatural. It puts you in a position where you feel inferior to women, and when that's the case, a woman can't respect you even if she tried. Imagine hiring a maid who also insists on being your butler, chauffeur, and therapist as well. A man who's been friendzoned is sort of like that. Just like you wouldn't respect that maid who wants to do more for you than you're paying her for, a girl can't respect a guy who wants a relationship but stays around after she turns him down and is willing to be a 'friend' just to be around her. If you really think about it and look at it, you might see that that's the behavior of a servant or a slave.

Most men say that men and women can't be platonic friends and say it's because men always want to sleep with their female friends. Most women say men and women can be platonic friends, but women don't have a because. And that's because...

I just posted a question about men and women being platonic friends, so if what I was about to share here comes up there I'll mention it there. Men are more black and white. Sometimes with women, it takes some explaining, and I don't want this comment longer than it already is.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
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As I have said before, in my younger years I had a long laundry list of what I wanted in a guy after I got older the list went down to just a beating heart.

I really didn't pray for a husband as when I did pray I just said I don't know what to ask for and left it at that. I had gotten married at 17 we grew up and grew apart so I divorced at 24 and didn't know if I should ever get married again. My first husband did get married I stayed single for 35 years. First husband passed away in 2014 and I met Tourist here on CC and at 59 I got married again thinking I would never marry again.

Even though I wasn't really praying for a husband Tourist was praying for a wife.

I can honestly say that he is the sweetest man I have ever met, we read the Bible together almost everyday, our Bible got packed by the packers which they weren't supposed to do so we were without it for 6 weeks during our move from Florida to Tennessee but for the most part almost everyday since we have been married, he makes me feel comfortable and I know he loves me and is very loyal to me and yes, he has a beating heart. Is he perfect? No but neither am I and I love that we have committed to love each other and have accepted each other's faults. I can say it is nice to be able to live with someone and be my total self not someone I think he wants me to be. I can say that I am glad God answered his prayer.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
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As I have said before, in my younger years I had a long laundry list of what I wanted in a guy after I got older the list went down to just a beating heart.

I really didn't pray for a husband as when I did pray I just said I don't know what to ask for and left it at that. I had gotten married at 17 we grew up and grew apart so I divorced at 24 and didn't know if I should ever get married again. My first husband did get married I stayed single for 35 years. First husband passed away in 2014 and I met Tourist here on CC and at 59 I got married again thinking I would never marry again.

Even though I wasn't really praying for a husband Tourist was praying for a wife.

I can honestly say that he is the sweetest man I have ever met, we read the Bible together almost everyday, our Bible got packed by the packers which they weren't supposed to do so we were without it for 6 weeks during our move from Florida to Tennessee but for the most part almost everyday since we have been married, he makes me feel comfortable and I know he loves me and is very loyal to me and yes, he has a beating heart. Is he perfect? No but neither am I and I love that we have committed to love each other and have accepted each other's faults. I can say it is nice to be able to live with someone and be my total self not someone I think he wants me to be. I can say that I am glad God answered his prayer.
Really beautiful and what a blessing to have found each other ;)
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
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Ohh nice do you need some marshmallows?
Um no, I need to pass on the marshmallows because if I leave the door of the fireplace open whilst fire is going it causes the smoke detector to go off. I have set it off several times this winter already.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
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Mesa, AZ
Um no, I need to pass on the marshmallows because if I leave the door of the fireplace open whilst fire is going it causes the smoke detector to go off. I have set it off several times this winter already.
I have mine disconnected. It screams every time I have the audacity to bake dinner. Stupid thing.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
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The harshest I have ever been with my wife in this is when I told her that we go to church on Sundays
The husband is harsh, and the wife is to submit. You proved my point why I wouldnt want to be in such a situation.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,668
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Mesa, AZ
The husband is harsh, and the wife is to submit. You proved my point why I wouldnt want to be in such a situation.
The wife can also be guilty of sin, making the husband ask 'why should I love her the way Christ loves the church?' That can go both ways, and neither exempts us from the will of God.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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This is for the girls.

What kind of husband do you want and why?

What are his character traits and his other traits?

Are you praying for him, and has God given you any insight about him or who he is?
girls always want someone who is kind

why, well they dont want to be bashed up

...in churches when we pray we mostly pray for those already in hospital who have been bashed up.

God of course gives us insights in the Bible. He says husbands need to be sober.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
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I have mine disconnected. It screams every time I have the audacity to bake dinner. Stupid thing.
I think I may need to do this also as I have set it off about three times now in the last couple of weeks. For some reason they installed it just to the right of the fireplace just outside the entrance to the bedroom so you can hear it should it go off.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,668
2,294
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Mesa, AZ
I think I may need to do this also as I have set it off about three times now in the last couple of weeks. For some reason they installed it just to the right of the fireplace just outside the entrance to the bedroom so you can hear it should it go off.
It's got to be the noisiest thing in existence.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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what. The fireman just gives the smoke alarm back to her and doesnt even investigate if there is a fire?
If the one in the staff room at school goes off thanks to someone not turning off the toaster, we just have another fire drill. I think we have one every couple of weeks.

I dont know if firemen make good husbands though, I recall a workmate married one had a family and then one day she found out her husband was cheating on her when he would go on his surfing holidays in Bali.

?! I think people have this stereotype of firemen being rescuers and heroes

Although there was that Christian movie called Fireproof and it WAS about being a good husband I remeember it had a scene where the hsuband bashed up his computer to stop him from viewing porn.

Im pretty sure it was that movie.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
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It's got to be the noisiest thing in existence.
Certainly would wake the deepest sleeper. Would be interesting to know if anyone has ever slept through it. I am thinking not.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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I think with the risk of bushfires very high in Australia you would always want to keep your smoke alarm working.
I dont know if theres a lot less risk in winter though. It just seems australian homes cannot cope with a downpour of rain...I heard they dont even have gutters as it hardly rains. So when it does rain they always get floods.