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Hi remmy, we are quite alike! I also have a three year old. who is extrememly strong willed and stubborn. Spanking doesnt work with her, i have found doing time out, or taking things away she likes works best. I know how you feel being exhausted as i am to a single parent. I get irritated fast especially when im tired, and i have a tendency to take it out on my daughter if shes acting up. So dont feel like your a bad mother, cause you lose your temper sometimes, we all do. My parents also spoil her and that makes her act really bratty at times. And like you i dont want a bratty kid. My mom and dad didnt discipline me enough when i was growin up or when they did it was severly, and i turned out to be horrible and rebellious as a teenager. I dont want my chid to turn out like me! or be anything like i was! So were on the same page here.
Back to what i was saying about the discipline, i'll explain what i do. For example this morning, she really likes to eat mc donalds for breakfast, so i told her we would go. Well she started throwin a fit screaming and yellin at me to get her something, i think she wanted some candy or something, so I got down on her level looked right at her and made sure she was lookin at me and said no, and if you dont stop yelling at me and screaming your sitting in time out, she keept it up i so made her sit down. She usually cointiues to yell and cry while shes sitting there, but i tell her shes not gettin up till she quits screamin and yellin. And if it persits even after that, we wont go to mc donalds or where ever it was she wanted to go that day that would be fun. Now i like for her to know what it was that she did wrong, so when i tell her she can get out of time out, i always have her come over to me and we sit down and i say why did mommy sit you in time out, and she'll tell me, it was cause i yelled at you or because i wasnt listning, then i tell her she needs to apologize. So she says sorry i give her a hug and i say i love you, and thats over and done with.
Generally when a child is hit alot, the chid starts to hit alot as well. And you cant say STOP HITTING, then hit the child, that sends mixed messages.
This doesnt happen over night it took me awhile to get her to that point. I had alot of trouble getting her to go to bed at one point, her bed time was 8:00 and for three hours she would get out of the bed and start playin in her room or she would run down stairs where i was. So i finally had to sit in her room with her and everytime she got out of the bed i would have to put her right back in it.. some nights it took me sitting in there for two and a half three hours, but she finally got the point that i wasnt messin around with her, and we dont have bed time trouble anymore lol My daughter knows when i say something i mean it, and there is no arguing. I wont tolerate her attitude or her yelling. So as soon as she starts it, she knows whats gonna happen. Like i said this took awhile to get here, When i first started doing this it took me putting her in time out six or seven times just in several hours because she was actin up so bad, I had to make her realize this isnt a game, she cant act any old way she wants to.
I also believe spending alone time with your son would be helpful, goin out and doin fun stuff together. goin for walks, goin to the park, whatever it is he likes to do. That made a HUGE huge impact in my daughters life, when me and her started spending alot of time together. I used to think of it as a hassle because she acted so horrible, but now i love when its just me and her. She started actin bad like that when she was about 2 years old, shes just about four now, and like i said since i started doing this when she was two her behavior has changed drastically! When she starts actin up in public now, all i have to do is give her a look and she knows she better knock it off. When you start discipling your son, he needs to know you mean it. You cant some days do it some days not. Cause again mixed signals. He needs to know your not gonna put up with that type of behavior from him.. Its alot of work, but its really worth it! Please feel free to message me if you have any questions or are just havin a bad day! I know what its like, and your certaintly not by yourself in this.
Back to what i was saying about the discipline, i'll explain what i do. For example this morning, she really likes to eat mc donalds for breakfast, so i told her we would go. Well she started throwin a fit screaming and yellin at me to get her something, i think she wanted some candy or something, so I got down on her level looked right at her and made sure she was lookin at me and said no, and if you dont stop yelling at me and screaming your sitting in time out, she keept it up i so made her sit down. She usually cointiues to yell and cry while shes sitting there, but i tell her shes not gettin up till she quits screamin and yellin. And if it persits even after that, we wont go to mc donalds or where ever it was she wanted to go that day that would be fun. Now i like for her to know what it was that she did wrong, so when i tell her she can get out of time out, i always have her come over to me and we sit down and i say why did mommy sit you in time out, and she'll tell me, it was cause i yelled at you or because i wasnt listning, then i tell her she needs to apologize. So she says sorry i give her a hug and i say i love you, and thats over and done with.
Generally when a child is hit alot, the chid starts to hit alot as well. And you cant say STOP HITTING, then hit the child, that sends mixed messages.
This doesnt happen over night it took me awhile to get her to that point. I had alot of trouble getting her to go to bed at one point, her bed time was 8:00 and for three hours she would get out of the bed and start playin in her room or she would run down stairs where i was. So i finally had to sit in her room with her and everytime she got out of the bed i would have to put her right back in it.. some nights it took me sitting in there for two and a half three hours, but she finally got the point that i wasnt messin around with her, and we dont have bed time trouble anymore lol My daughter knows when i say something i mean it, and there is no arguing. I wont tolerate her attitude or her yelling. So as soon as she starts it, she knows whats gonna happen. Like i said this took awhile to get here, When i first started doing this it took me putting her in time out six or seven times just in several hours because she was actin up so bad, I had to make her realize this isnt a game, she cant act any old way she wants to.
I also believe spending alone time with your son would be helpful, goin out and doin fun stuff together. goin for walks, goin to the park, whatever it is he likes to do. That made a HUGE huge impact in my daughters life, when me and her started spending alot of time together. I used to think of it as a hassle because she acted so horrible, but now i love when its just me and her. She started actin bad like that when she was about 2 years old, shes just about four now, and like i said since i started doing this when she was two her behavior has changed drastically! When she starts actin up in public now, all i have to do is give her a look and she knows she better knock it off. When you start discipling your son, he needs to know you mean it. You cant some days do it some days not. Cause again mixed signals. He needs to know your not gonna put up with that type of behavior from him.. Its alot of work, but its really worth it! Please feel free to message me if you have any questions or are just havin a bad day! I know what its like, and your certaintly not by yourself in this.