Why are people lilke this?

Xeano321 · Mar 23, 2016

Gooood evening folks! Welcome to another rousing game of Discussion. (Free coffee is by the door. And doughnuts.)

A couple days ago I got into a rousing conversation with my Dad about this Guy (he is 100% loser. Alcohol, drugs, sponge, borrow, phony charm. Bad reputation with girls... The works.) at my work (I work in a grocery store) About a week ago this guy started hardcore pursuing this new girl that was recently hired (it all happened on my side of the store, so I had the unfortunate pleasure to observe this whole mess.) To save a paragraph, he used his fake charm on this girl who is totally naive to anything in life (pretty obvious to see just talking to her a couple times.) He "got" with her (like he has a dozen other girls since I've been there), and now she is crazy in love with him. Little does she realize he's about to drop her like the proverbial hot potato. (Happens all the time. He's just in it for the action.) Now this girl is going around telling other girls at work what happened, BLAH BLAH (stupid thing to do. Why blab about that? It's gross.) I found out due to circumstances, not like I want to know... I'd prefer not.

To have to watch HOW this loser did it is aggravating (dude....). Knowing what ended up happening is depressing (Like really? No wonder God flooded the earth over junk like this.) The consequences are coming hard for this chick, and she has no clue whatsoever about it. At. All. She needs Jesus that's fo' sure. Maybe an opportunity will arise for a bit of witnessing. He set her up for heartbreak and it's sad, people.

~
One thing I was able to deduce from the event is how susceptible Women are when it comes to their feelings and emotion. It kinda made me realize how much responsibility rests on Men in protecting a woman, not just physically but emotionally. I've always known such, but to see someone blatantly take advantage of it... It's really just sad. I was sitting there thinking about it, and I never realized how huge the job is.... It's HUGE. You get the keys to a girls heart. To realize that God made Men for this purpose is even crazier.... I've rethought my approach to girls, rethinking how foolish it is to stoke the fire of romance without realizing what you're taking on.... I never have, nor do I intend taking the job before the right time... It's just weird... It kinda scares me actually

(Better be 100% ready for the task) New view on an old standard I set for myself. How God used others to clarify this is awesome.

~
But the question is still WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? (The girl is not innocent in the least. She's not a believer. However, she was straight up tricked by a guy who is far too experienced to be using the tricks on a girl who doesn't understand the kind of person he is.) I asked my Dad the question. He response was sin. He said he's known a ton of guys just like that. But I can't fathom why you would want to do this to a girl. I have four older sisters, I've been raised to think that girls are not objects, and you DO NOT EVER play with a girls emotions (didn't understand precisely what that was until now.) You show them RESPECT, just for the simple fact that they are Girls. I can't understand why others can't be convinced to think the same... Sin is out of control.
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How many people deal with/have dealt with junk like this? Is it possible to get used to seeing it and learn to ignore it? Any tips on how to handle stuff like this in the future (I don't consider it my business, but if God has me in the spot to say something)? Why are Women made so emotionally open? Why would you even consider putting your heart out there? Does experience determine whether you guard against idiots, or is it fully possible to determine such without losing your heart first?

RickyZ · Mar 23, 2016

I'm the wrong guy to be answering this, but...

My best man was a womanizer, different girl each month. I was the geek/nerd/dolt who they ran to when he broke their hearts. There's several different reasons, but like your dad said it all comes back to sin. People are broken and so being they do broken deeds. And yeah I'm tired of watchin' it.

You're a rare man my friend. God bless you.

Godgivesmestrength · Mar 23, 2016

I wish I could give you the answer you're looking for but unfortunately someone as intelligent as you will never understand. I don't understand it myself, people like you and I who respect ourselves and others won't. The best you can do is pray for the both of them to change their ways. God bless!!

firework · Mar 23, 2016

First of all not all women are so open and naive. Some are actually patient, confident and controlled. Those most pulled down by sin are the ones who are most susceptible to such ploys. Most women I know that are 'duped' want to be because they are just as impulsive and full of lust as the men. Perhaps the women like this are not as easily seen that way with you because you are male and unaware of their forms of manipulation. One suggestion, I do not recommend-as a Christian-calling someone a loser because ANYONE can be saved....look at Paul. God bless you

godsslife · Mar 24, 2016

Xeano321 said:

Gooood evening folks! Welcome to another rousing game of Discussion. (Free coffee is by the door. And doughnuts.)

A couple days ago I got into a rousing conversation with my Dad about this Guy (he is 100% loser. Alcohol, drugs, sponge, borrow, phony charm. Bad reputation with girls... The works.) at my work (I work in a grocery store) About a week ago this guy started hardcore pursuing this new girl that was recently hired (it all happened on my side of the store, so I had the unfortunate pleasure to observe this whole mess.) To save a paragraph, he used his fake charm on this girl who is totally naive to anything in life (pretty obvious to see just talking to her a couple times.) He "got" with her (like he has a dozen other girls since I've been there), and now she is crazy in love with him. Little does she realize he's about to drop her like the proverbial hot potato. (Happens all the time. He's just in it for the action.) Now this girl is going around telling other girls at work what happened, BLAH BLAH (stupid thing to do. Why blab about that? It's gross.) I found out due to circumstances, not like I want to know... I'd prefer not.

To have to watch HOW this loser did it is aggravating (dude....). Knowing what ended up happening is depressing (Like really? No wonder God flooded the earth over junk like this.) The consequences are coming hard for this chick, and she has no clue whatsoever about it. At. All. She needs Jesus that's fo' sure. Maybe an opportunity will arise for a bit of witnessing. He set her up for heartbreak and it's sad, people.

~
One thing I was able to deduce from the event is how susceptible Women are when it comes to their feelings and emotion. It kinda made me realize how much responsibility rests on Men in protecting a woman, not just physically but emotionally. I've always known such, but to see someone blatantly take advantage of it... It's really just sad. I was sitting there thinking about it, and I never realized how huge the job is.... It's HUGE. You get the keys to a girls heart. To realize that God made Men for this purpose is even crazier.... I've rethought my approach to girls, rethinking how foolish it is to stoke the fire of romance without realizing what you're taking on.... I never have, nor do I intend taking the job before the right time... It's just weird... It kinda scares me actually

(Better be 100% ready for the task) New view on an old standard I set for myself. How God used others to clarify this is awesome.

~
But the question is still WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? (The girl is not innocent in the least. She's not a believer. However, she was straight up tricked by a guy who is far too experienced to be using the tricks on a girl who doesn't understand the kind of person he is.) I asked my Dad the question. He response was sin. He said he's known a ton of guys just like that. But I can't fathom why you would want to do this to a girl. I have four older sisters, I've been raised to think that girls are not objects, and you DO NOT EVER play with a girls emotions (didn't understand precisely what that was until now.) You show them RESPECT, just for the simple fact that they are Girls. I can't understand why others can't be convinced to think the same... Sin is out of control.
-

How many people deal with/have dealt with junk like this? Is it possible to get used to seeing it and learn to ignore it? Any tips on how to handle stuff like this in the future (I don't consider it my business, but if God has me in the spot to say something)? Why are Women made so emotionally open? Why would you even consider putting your heart out there? Does experience determine whether you guard against idiots, or is it fully possible to determine such without losing your heart first?

wait you're a christian? and you talk like this of your brothers and sisters? So sad... so tired of bumping into so called ''believer of god '' and talk of people the way you do.. maybe instead of talking crap about him or her you should help one of them and pray for them and have a heart instead of judging.. you can't judge people youre not god

Ultimatum77 · Mar 24, 2016

firework said:

Excellent post firework, that guy has a problem with lust and is evidently using women without care about their souls....

I am not judging you Xeano brother but my question is did you even try to warn this girl that she was being "played" by this worthless chap? I would hope you did, because I've had so called fake "suave" dudes try that crap on my sister and a fellow believer in the church warned me about this guy and I told my sister. He had a history of pulling that same crap of charming women and then dumping them...Luckily my sister took my and this other guy's advice to heart and didn't let this weirdo get close....If you can save someone from a fire it is our obligation to at least warn them of it and not passively watch...I always imagine myself as an older brother for a sister like that...would I want some dirty punk to take advantage of her no way!

It's not only because of sin but as some others have said people are broken in different ways, emotionally, spiritually, physically etc....and the more "needy" a person is, and the more of the world is in them and not Christ, the more they try to fill that hole in the soul and act/do stupid things to feel "whole" again...guys who use women like that will never learn until they hit rock bottom and find themselves with an empty life and no lasting meaningful relationships with the opposite sex....

I hope I didn't come across as harsh xeano

just helpful suggestions for next time you see this same situation happening...

firework · Mar 24, 2016

godsslife,
I would have liked your post if you did not make the comment about not judging. We ARE to judge but to judge righteously, otherwise we would not be able to correct our brothers and sisters for growth. Take the plank out of your own eye FIRST and THEN you are able to see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye.

Ultimatum77,
Thank you for your kind comment. Again, I would have liked your post as well but you used your own version of name calling (worthless-who are we to determine the value of another's life, only God knows the heart, these people steeped in sin have just as much a chance of being saved) which I regretfully cannot support, otherwise I would have liked yours as well.

Ultimatum77 · Mar 24, 2016

firework said:

I see your point, people can change, but that nasty lustful spirit working in that guy is belial/worthless in that person to commit sin....I know we're not to judge but I strongly dislike people like that who abuse others for their own selfish desires.......

firework · Mar 24, 2016

We are to judge righteously. I recommend, if you have quite the time with those behaving this way to focus on hating the unclean spirit glomming onto the person and comment with regard to such so it does not come off as a hatred toward the individual.

<3

Xeano321 · Mar 25, 2016

It's not like it really bothers me... It gets old. Sin is everywhere, but some of it is just shocking at how uncaring and unkind people are capable of being. It's weird.

I'm not really trying to change them. It's just... Depressing. You see people constantly sinning. Constantly setting themselves up for heartache.... I've been a believer for a long while, and sometimes it just catches up to you and bugs you. Why would you choose sin over Christ? Basically point of whole thread, in a roundabout way.

Fairly obvious I think. Women are built far different from men. I'm mostly trying to figure out what exactly causes a woman to leave themselves open, whether it's voluntary or if it's something that can't be helped. You're comment cleared some of that up... Thanks!

Well... for lack of a better word in this case. Saves on a paragraph having to describe the dude.

Unfortunately I did not even have a chance to act... It all went pretty quick. I'm not one to poke my nose into others business, but I'll usually throw my 2 cents in if given a chance. Chance never came. If it had, I would have given it the effort.

That is really a good elaboration. Far too often we can see this, with one example or another.

Oh not at all. I fully agree.

Can't let others just float by to danger without handing them a paddle to get around it.

coby · Mar 25, 2016

Dunno fell for it too, someone kicked a demon of naivity out, but I think you just learn from bad experiences how people are.

Stand_Strong · Mar 29, 2016

Xeano321 said:

No doubt, you're learning about the true nature of people. Men will always play women that are playable. Women will fall for it every time. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do that will ever change her mind. You can't reason with people once their hearts are involved. She will learn the hard way, and most likely will continue to make the same mistakes. This is more a product of her upbringing.

crosstweed · Mar 30, 2016

Stand_Strong said:

*Ungodly men.
I'd like to add to that that ungodly women can do the exact same thing to men... they just go about it a little differently.

And you're right - it's very hard to reason with someone once their emotions are involved, especially if that person is naive.

jamie26301 · Mar 30, 2016

To the Opening Post:

This is my best answer. This can be true for men as well. You don't hear about women taking advantage of men, but they do. Men it's usually more for action, as you put it, women may take advantage of a man for money, shelter, or some other need.

For both men and women who fall for these ploys and gimmicks, it can usually come down to one thing: need for safety and love.

I was infatuated with a man for over five years. Long after he ever spoke to me again, even after he ignored my attempts at contact a few times, I still wanted him based on the time we did spend together. This was a very irrational and deep rooted emotional obsession.

My therapist told me that our brains are wired to seek safety and love. This is why our love for someone can often override our common sense. For teens and very young adults, it can be traced to the frontal lobe not being fully developed, that they are more prone to making decisions based on emotions because of the nature of their brains.

One remedy can to seek safety and love in other ways. By becoming a believer for example, like you said. Or by devoting oneself to helping and understanding others. Or by bettering and taking care of yourself.

But once I realized this, and started to step away from my emotions and examine them rationally, I broke my obsession almost overnight. Not saying this will make someone with a broken heart feel better, but it does help explain why we will allow ourselves to get hurt despite our better judgement.

And why people do this? Short answer: they're not taught any better OR their need for action, or money, or something else overrides their sense of respect. Perhaps they don't understand it's disrespectful because they've never seen a loved one hurt by the same practice, or haven't been hurt themselves by the practice of taking advantage. For some people, unfortunately, they understand lack of respect better when they experience it themselves.

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Why are people lilke this?

Xeano321

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