Why is this happening to my family?

[hospitalpharmacist]

Stupid complaints get to discussions and yelling. An example of the discussions that happens everyday at home.
Today the child broke definitely the remote control of the decoder (we own still one of the old TV without decoder inside). The remote control has been fallen on the floor so many times that it doesn't work anymore. My father doesn't live without TV: when he is at home TV is on 24 on 24 hours. He has like an obsession for TV.
When he found the remote control destroyed he started a long discussion with yelling at my mom. He used bullying at my mom while asking where it was the other decoder (this is mine) because he wanted to changed it with own with the excuse that each decoder has own remote control.
Note decoder works, he doesn't need to throw it away.
So my mom replied that if he paid more attention to child, the remote control wouldn't be broken. In effect my dad left child to play with remore control so many times I don't remember.
I replied to my dad too saying"It doesn't worth to throw away a decoder that still works only because the remote control is broken, just raise up each time you need to change channel". The truth is that my dad doesn't want to raise up everytime from sofa; it involves too much effort.
I think that such discussions are unusuful and deleterious for the child's education (she was in the room during that discussion). My dad just had a childhood's behaviour, the same of children when they discover one of their toys is broken.
I'd like only to have a family who lives in a peaceful atmosphere. Why not?

 

[AlayaRose]

I think your families problem is the same as every other family. Sin causes selfishness, when we don't handle situations that arise, no matter what it is, the way Christ would, we end up letting sin win. If your dad likes TV to the point of distraction of real life happenings, try putting in the movie The Passion Of Christ. Then ask him if his remote control seams as important.

 

[hospitalpharmacist]

dear AlayaRose

he would kill me if I only try to do that. He uses to watch soccer programs, other sports programs, comedies and my mom caught him more than once watching porno movies during night. He didn't like culture, he isn't interested in historical movies like I'm neither in science's programs. He likes only the entertainment. If only anyone try to disturb him while he is watching TV, he starts to yell. Definitely I'm sorry to say this but he is a poor man. This is not the only guilty of what a kind of man is; he grew up in a family where the father was the lord of the family.

 

[AlayaRose]

Sad, very sad. I am amusing you are male and possibly planning on your own family if you don't already have one. I would like to tell you a secrete that most men do not understand. YOU are The king and Lord of your family under God. If you hold yourself with honnor and protect your family from sin entering your castle, you would then be a grand king indeed. Learn from your fathers sins. It is why we are hear after all. To learn the damage of sin so that when we have eternal life we will not have eternal tyrants running our castles. lol

 

[hospitalpharmacist]

I'm not a male but I can see how my brother is following the footsteps of my father and it's so frustating to see that.
I wish to have a family because I know I could be a good mother for my children but my biological time is almost up and I really don't know if I'll have a family someday.

 

[AlayaRose]

Then you get to be Queen of the castle. I will pray for your success of having your own family. Just don't forget your duties as Queen. You are made of Man's rib, so you may stand beside him, not his head to be above him and not his feet to be beneath him. If you find yourself with an honorable King be an honorable Queen, love him enough to stand at his side. Guide him in the words of our Lord Jesus, praise him when he is right and guide him when he is wrong. When we can all remember this, think of all the wonderful kingdoms well shall have.

 

[santuzza]

I guess if it were me, I'd move out. Who needs all that drama and non-Christian activity in their house? They don't sound as if they are open to the Gospel at all, so you can't expect Christian behavior from them.

Is it your house or theirs? Do your parents need you for health reasons? You're 41 years old, get out on your own. Unless your parents really need you for support, I'd get out of there. Peace is a beautiful thing.

 

[yac11]

I agree with AlayaRose. I will be praying for you. Bless you

 

[hospitalpharmacist]

Dear santuzza
it isn't neither mine or their, we rented it. I know I'm 41 and you don't see what a shame I feel to be still at family home. I don't have choices. I'm unoccupied and ill too. Actually I need to find a doctor who really cares of my health and help me to heal because it's difficult to get a job at the moment. My parents need cares too because they have chronic diseases especially my mom is critically ill as she has heart failure.
This situation upset me and it's so frustating; I'd wish to leave home but I can't.
Thank you for your reply and thank you for others replies and prayers.

 

[santuzza]

Well, that is indeed sad that you can't move out. Then I suggest some family counseling. There is so much bad behavior going on in your household, it's going to effect your walk with the Lord. Keep praying. Keep going to church. Keep studying the Bible.

 

[Share55]

Hi hospitalpharmicist:

If you are 41 and have a brother who is also still at home then your brother must be at the youngest around 20 years old so that would mean 2 adult children living with their parents. My parents had their 2 oldest sons living at home with them and it was a nightmare home to be in.
Usually parents bring children into this world with the thought they someday their children will grow up and leave the roost but sometimes don't. Most parents love their children but when they stay for life maybe some parents feel the burden is too heavy. Maybe the mother gets a heart problem as a means to keep the family together I don't know. I'm just conjecturing as to the sad state of the family. Maybe because I grew up in a home somewhat like that. My siblings and I always laugh when we hear a guilt trip and tell the offender they just met the kings and queens of guilt trips because we grew up with the best. (I know, not a nice joke but true ).
When we grow we start looking at life and thinking about our future, fall in love, look towards life spent with another, seeing children through school, marriage, grand-children and thankfully the empty-nest syndrome with well adjust children living better lives than we did.
Where I live they have support facilities for disabled where you may live alone or with another disabled and people are available 24/7 to help you live on your own. There are other options but that is the one I can think of off the top of my head which you may consider for a trial period.
I know a lot of people with heart condition that live on their own or with a spouse. When they have a heart attack you administer CPR, call an ambulance and what else? to be realistic.
The pros; your father gets the freedom he worked hard towards, your mother may relearn her independence, you have peace, tranquility to spend more time with God.

all this may be unrealistic to you depending on your area but in this day and age there are so many options unless you are in an unheard of part of the world or maybe that just isn't how the situation is but it sure smells of it.

Sometimes we live at home too long we become rooted and afraid to venture but be an eagle to spread their wings and fly you wonder 'what was I waiting for?'