Wrong to move in with someone before getting married?

[kutless00]

I was just wondering because my girlfriend and I were deciding to move in together after I graduated from college which is in the next 2 years. We want to move in together not only because we love each other dearly, but most importantly to grow closer to God. We are both believers in Christ and it troubled us. I had a talk with my sister who I can come to advice for when I have questions. She informed me that it was a bad thing to do because its outside of marriage. It got me thinking and I discussed it with my girlfriend and we are trying to figure out exactly why it is wrong or if it's not even wrong. I'm sure one of the reasons why it might be wrong is that me and my girlfriend might perform sexually which we know is not going to happen at all because it's a sin. We would never disobey God in any way even though you might say temptation will happen. What are your insights and if it is mentioned in the Bible because I'm having trouble finding it. Having sex before marriage is wrong for us, but what about moving in together before marriage? Any replies would be appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Kite]

Ehehe, I'm going to agree with your sister. God says that a man and a woman get married, and then they become one in flesh; I think that kinda applies to moving in together as well, because you'd both be separated from your families and living with each other, even though you're not married. Can't say anything else... I'll try find the bible verse that says about being married...

 

[J0Y]

I also agree with your sister, for the same reasons. However I would also add that even though you say you are not going to get involved sexually, living with each other is basically opening the door and inviting temptation to 'go too far'. Yes, you may say that you have no intention to do this, but it is often in the areas where we think we will be strong where we can stumble (Satan knows this full well)! I would also add, as far as your witness goes...how - to the outside world - would it look to non-Christians and even Christians around you if you were 'living together'? They would easily think that you act and therefore are just like any other couple who live together. The Bible says that we should be 'in the world, but not of it' so this means we must evaluate our values, standards and actions according to Godly principles. Remember that the Bible clearly talks about not doing anything that would make our brothers/sisters stumble, so not only is it about sexual temptation, but how this would affect your witness is also a major consideration.

 

[missy2shoes]

Well said Joy.......I wouldn't do it.........

 

[ndimu]

i agree with you that is exactly what i would say to my brother here

 

[ndimu]

men it is a good to be open and frank, the devil is said to use what we love most to close our eyes from seeing the red signs, so we may misinterpret information, so men i would tell you that you will fall into trap, if you truly loves her and you want your dignity maintained wait till both of you are ready to marry officially and God will truly bless your family.

 

[collective]

my boyfriend moved in with me then, now husband about 4 years ago and spiritually it is a nightmare, you can never under God be a married couple even though you bodily are living together and you wont be under Gods covering for marriage, you may say that you wont get together intimately but it wont be long until the temtation is too strong before you end up in the cot, and when you start that road its extremely hard to break that flesh road because it is too strong leaving your First Love and apart of you wont want break this act of defilement to each other to whilst your spiritaul life goes down hill and your testimony goes out the window, your relationship with God is harder and you cannot give God your all while youve put God in a place of JEOLOUSY for you and for your loved one, youll be feeding each others carnality and one person will be over powered by another, the guilt of being together is undescribable compare to being married and God judges fornicating weather it might be mentally or your dreams of beicoming something might end due to a pregnancy, id say to you get married and avoid the confusion over your life and your loved on because it wont be a beautiful experioence if you are married, you love her, dont deceive youslves because youll be in for a spirtual roller coster and youll marr you and your girlfriends life by doing this and your marriage will be tainted if you live together, i hope you dont follow through with this, trust God in your plans for your life and you will wise up to have Gods Desires yours

 

[collective]

correction.. living together wont be a beautiful experience unless you are married and under Gods covering, there is none when outside of it but demonic buffiting.

 

[MahogonySnail]

If two unmarried people moved in together during bible times they would most likely be stoned.

 

[SamIam]

I was just wondering because my girlfriend and I were deciding to move in together after I graduated from college which is in the next 2 years. We want to move in together not only because we love each other dearly, but most importantly to grow closer to God. We are both believers in Christ and it troubled us. I had a talk with my sister who I can come to advice for when I have questions. She informed me that it was a bad thing to do because its outside of marriage. It got me thinking and I discussed it with my girlfriend and we are trying to figure out exactly why it is wrong or if it's not even wrong. I'm sure one of the reasons why it might be wrong is that me and my girlfriend might perform sexually which we know is not going to happen at all because it's a sin. We would never disobey God in any way even though you might say temptation will happen. What are your insights and if it is mentioned in the Bible because I'm having trouble finding it. Having sex before marriage is wrong for us, but what about moving in together before marriage? Any replies would be appreciated. Thank you.

If the two of you love each other so dearly....... get married.

 

[kutless00]

Thank you all for your replies. My girlfriend explained what she found out and said that we would be mocking God in moving in together and what some of you said about non-believers and believers looking at us and assuming things are happening. And thats not what we want anyone to think or assume. Temptation is a strong weapon used by the enemy, but knowing now will make this a lot better as long as we trust in God. My girlfriend and I put our future in God's hands and we pray that He will continue to bless this relationship with Him in the center of it. Even though we won't move in together before marriage, we will continue to seek and grow closer to God. Thanks again everyone. God bless you all.

 

[Sharp]

Good decision mate

 

[Sonzzz01]

Great chose, friend. May God bless you both.

 

[J0Y]

God will honour you in this!
Blessings!

 

[broken-wings]

I feel alone in this answer. but If you two discuss it and think this is right and ok. i say do it. My fiance and I have lived together for 4 years and we are getting married in sept. this year. we love each other and in my search for god (im jewish), somehow he has found christ (he was athiest). We are more in love than ever and he has found something for the both of us to believe in and has not put me down in religion at all. you two have to talk about it together. and make sure you agree on this and that this is what you want.

 

[Tootles_1]

Broken-wings I hope that you're marriage is beautiful and God filled. However, statisitcs alone show that couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who don't. So just know that it is going to be an uphill battle.

As for the rest of the posts, I agree. You have to consider what effect it would have on your witnessing to others. And in the Lord's Prayer it says "Lead me NOT into temptation". To many people think that means "let me push myself as close to sin and then ask God to deliver me." And that is the very opposite attitude we are supposed to have.

 

[starfield]

Broken-wings I hope that you're marriage is beautiful and God filled. However, statisitcs alone show that couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who don't. So just know that it is going to be an uphill battle.

As for the rest of the posts, I agree. You have to consider what effect it would have on your witnessing to others. And in the Lord's Prayer it says "Lead me NOT into temptation". To many people think that means "let me push myself as close to sin and then ask God to deliver me." And that is the very opposite attitude we are supposed to have.

Good point.

 

[Groundhog]

Enough opinions have been posted already, so I'll not bother posting mine. I'll just say that I wish wisdom for you to make the right decision.

As a side note, I happened to come across this article the other day that discusses why cohabitating before marriage can spoil the relationship:

http://www.livescience.com/culture/090714-cohabit-couples.html

 

[AngelWriter]

Living with someone changes the dynaic of the relationship. I can't help but think its a wise idea to live with someone before getting married. It will help you to know that you are on the right path God is laying out for you. I have some of my best friends that lived together for two years before they got married, and they were able to save themselves until they were married. It can work for people. The best thing I can reccomend is discuss this with your girlfriend and the two of you decide what's best for you.