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The post I responded to was ungracious in it's accusatory tone. The declaration [ad hominem attack] was made: "Your miserable and you want out plain and simple," without allowing for the existence of other possibilities. Naive means lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment; any of those three might have imagined that the OP may have had a legitimate reason for his actions.
It's an ad hominem attack to point out another person's ad hominem attack? I'll have to run that by our attorneys. =)
It's an ad hominem attack to point out another person's ad hominem attack? I'll have to run that by our attorneys. =)
P
I can assure you our separation has nothing to do with her not being a christian. It's true that my faith is a personal secret though, because she actually told me months ago when she caught me reading a bible ' if you become a christian, i'll show you the door' so it would be nice I suppose to be able to not hide my faith in God. That's a horrible thing to hide. But her being an atheist wouldnt have bothered me had our relationship been better.
P
What happened to change you to Jesus and not your wife,philly ?
That said, it seems your wife's faith is having an effect on things. There is Scripture that does say that an unbelieving spouse is saved by the believing husband.
I would pray for your wife, that she can see Jesus through you doing things in your life. And, if God does want you to split, you used the word 'amicably,' that is good, make sure that your wife sees that you are just following Jesus and that her leaving is her decision, it is not yours, and, you want her to find the joy of Jesus and will pray that for her for all the days of her life left, subconsciously and consciously, for finding Him for you has made your life so different, so free, so wanting to love others, first, and, giving to yourself last. The Lord leads you now, and, 'Honey, I am sorry of this decison of yours, I love you, but not with that kind of love you think of, only, but of Love that God put in me when I chose Him.
Saying these words can have an effect on her if you pray they can and then pray always in prayers, 'Thy will be done, Lord, not mine, but thy be done.'
That said, it seems your wife's faith is having an effect on things. There is Scripture that does say that an unbelieving spouse is saved by the believing husband.
I would pray for your wife, that she can see Jesus through you doing things in your life. And, if God does want you to split, you used the word 'amicably,' that is good, make sure that your wife sees that you are just following Jesus and that her leaving is her decision, it is not yours, and, you want her to find the joy of Jesus and will pray that for her for all the days of her life left, subconsciously and consciously, for finding Him for you has made your life so different, so free, so wanting to love others, first, and, giving to yourself last. The Lord leads you now, and, 'Honey, I am sorry of this decison of yours, I love you, but not with that kind of love you think of, only, but of Love that God put in me when I chose Him.
Saying these words can have an effect on her if you pray they can and then pray always in prayers, 'Thy will be done, Lord, not mine, but thy be done.'
P
The trouble I've had with my marriage and 'trying to work it out' is its extremely difficult and deceptive to myself and my wife for showing false affection. It's all very well loving someone, which I do but then theres the love that a man and woman should possess as husband and wife. You can't falsify that. (Believe me I've tried)..... Well you could but then you'd be lying and deceiving your partner. We have made a good go of it, we have been married for about 9 years. I never intended on it ending when I took my wedding vows. I think God has answered my prayer despite what God generally thinks of divorce from scripture. Maybe there are exceptions. With God anything is possible!
The only thing that came to my mind was this, pick up your cross and follow Christ. This life doesn't always give us worldly happiness, God doesn't promise us a wonder worldly life. What He does promise is contentment and satisfaction, internal joy in Christ Jesus in spite of our circumstances. I don't believe wanting and praying a divorce is biblical, but sticking it out and praying for her salvation is biblical, with you being the one to show Christ's love to her. Maybe sticking is out is your cross. And then if she leaves, you're are unbound from the marriage.
God is about redeeming and restoring things, not about scraping things, and we are called to be Christ like and follow after Him.
Disclaimer: I don't act like Christ perfectly all the time, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. But I am growing in Him. I'm just given you biblical advice and by the means of this disclaimer, I am pulling the log out of my own eye, in which qualifies to judge sinful actions and provide biblical guidance.
God is about redeeming and restoring things, not about scraping things, and we are called to be Christ like and follow after Him.
Disclaimer: I don't act like Christ perfectly all the time, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. But I am growing in Him. I'm just given you biblical advice and by the means of this disclaimer, I am pulling the log out of my own eye, in which qualifies to judge sinful actions and provide biblical guidance.
P
Yes I see what your saying, I mean I was prepared to go on living this way until I dont know when. (Although I did pray for God to end it). Even if he didn't my WIFE is the one who wants us to separate. I just can't say i'm too disappointed apart from the fact I want to make sure my little boy is a HAPPY little boy and he gets to see both me and his mum regularly. I'm still distraught that my life has panned out like this, I just hope the next chapter is a happier one for all. God bless
N
I think this was going to happen weather you prayed or not. I would not think about those kinds of things. Whats important is, keeping yours and your wife's issues out of your kid's life. Just keep the peace and move on. Let the kid not have to be effected by this. Your wife's actions you can't control. But you just do your part to keep things civil .
God hates divorce...
Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mar 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
Mar 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mar 10:10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mar 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
Mar 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mar 10:10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
N
Christ for gives all sin, So if some how you start developing a needless guilt trip. Consider this .
But as with all sin, dear, we must repent of it―in Jesus' name―to be forgiven. So repent of your part in the divorce, and be made free in Christ Jesus. Then go, and remarry even; unashamed before God; the old things (1st marriage) are done away with in Christ; but only marry in the Lord (i.e., only marry a Christian ).
2 Cor 6:14
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? KJV
This can be a study to itself, But at the end of the day, Christ makes us clean and forgive us of our sins ( if you even have reason , if you sinned at all ) . Then your a new person.
I'm looking for studies about divorce I trust. If you want those Just message me, and i'll be asking friends for some in the mean time.
But as with all sin, dear, we must repent of it―in Jesus' name―to be forgiven. So repent of your part in the divorce, and be made free in Christ Jesus. Then go, and remarry even; unashamed before God; the old things (1st marriage) are done away with in Christ; but only marry in the Lord (i.e., only marry a Christian ).
2 Cor 6:14
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? KJV
This can be a study to itself, But at the end of the day, Christ makes us clean and forgive us of our sins ( if you even have reason , if you sinned at all ) . Then your a new person.
I'm looking for studies about divorce I trust. If you want those Just message me, and i'll be asking friends for some in the mean time.
Q
I think its downright scary to suggest God "granted" something that is not righteous and Godly. I would have to say that your divorce is the action of satan in your wife's life but that God will use that for the good of you (and her if she ever becomes a believer) because that's his promise (Romans 8:28). I say that as a divorcee who was once a preacher's wife. Our marriage was very difficult and very painful and spanned across two decades. The last five years were almost enough to cause me to take my own life. I will tell you that I believe God was leading me to divorce my husband but only after years of abuse and infidelity and a choice (by my spouse) to refuse to change his behavior. But I don't think I could have prayed for God to fix my solution with something so anti-God thinking when other options were acceptable. Basically those of us in those situations just want the pain to stop, some relief. I don't think we should be too picky how God brings it about or focus on that as the answer. The point is that he brought you freedom whether by his direct hand in leading your spouse to Him or by His absent hand not making your spouse stay. The answer to your prayer was not divorce itself, but relief.
On a side note please be prepared for divorce to be painful. Even if you have been praying for it! I can tell you first hand that I near hated my husband by the time everything had been exposed that he was involved with but I still cried nightly for a year after everything was settled. And it will hit you much harder if you think that God is "gifting" you this divorcce so that now you can be all you can be. Divorce, plain and simple, is hell. Its the process of God taking what he joined together and then backing away so we can rip it back into two. Lots of tearing, lots of pain, and lots of mess. You will grow with God in a way you can't even imagine because he will have to become your everything in order for you to survive. Believe it or not, if you do not give God this time with you to heal your heart you will fall to the lonliness (and yes, it is overwhelming) and seek out a new wife before switching out the furniture. And the problem will be that after a month or two you will see that your second wife is scary a lot like your first. So feel the pain with God. Let him be your perfect Father, your perfect spouse (if that doesn't sound too weird to you) and make you whole. Only then will you be able to find the purpose (and possibly person) for which you were freed.
On a side note please be prepared for divorce to be painful. Even if you have been praying for it! I can tell you first hand that I near hated my husband by the time everything had been exposed that he was involved with but I still cried nightly for a year after everything was settled. And it will hit you much harder if you think that God is "gifting" you this divorcce so that now you can be all you can be. Divorce, plain and simple, is hell. Its the process of God taking what he joined together and then backing away so we can rip it back into two. Lots of tearing, lots of pain, and lots of mess. You will grow with God in a way you can't even imagine because he will have to become your everything in order for you to survive. Believe it or not, if you do not give God this time with you to heal your heart you will fall to the lonliness (and yes, it is overwhelming) and seek out a new wife before switching out the furniture. And the problem will be that after a month or two you will see that your second wife is scary a lot like your first. So feel the pain with God. Let him be your perfect Father, your perfect spouse (if that doesn't sound too weird to you) and make you whole. Only then will you be able to find the purpose (and possibly person) for which you were freed.
G
Actually that is what Paul said, not God, look at the previous verses:
1Co 7:10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
1Co 7:11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
1Co 7:10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
1Co 7:11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
I think that God allowed your divorce to happen, which is waaaay different than him granting your divorce.
Yes, the Bible does say that you are "free" if your unbelieving spouse wants to divorce you. However, God's Word does not say that you, as a believer, can divorce your wife. If you have been praying for this, then this is where your heart is. It does not matter that she is the one initiating the paperwork.
Why are you still hiding the fact that you are now a born again believer from her? Perhaps this would be a good time to tell her. Despite what she says about religion, having her see a real change in you may lead to a different attitude and even healing. It seems to me that you can't lose much at this point.
Yes, the Bible does say that you are "free" if your unbelieving spouse wants to divorce you. However, God's Word does not say that you, as a believer, can divorce your wife. If you have been praying for this, then this is where your heart is. It does not matter that she is the one initiating the paperwork.
Why are you still hiding the fact that you are now a born again believer from her? Perhaps this would be a good time to tell her. Despite what she says about religion, having her see a real change in you may lead to a different attitude and even healing. It seems to me that you can't lose much at this point.
"but God has called us to peace."
I think we would do well to focus a little more on this part of the passage than in rushing to judgment on someone else's crumbling marriage. There is always a lot more to the story of how a marriage ends than is ever understood by outsiders. I have heard it said that Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded, and this thread has certainly proved that point.
God freed me from my marriage. He changed the heart of a controlling, abusive narcissist so my son and I can be healthy. So yes, God ending a marriage exists within the realm of possibilities. I ask that you please out of the compassion that believers are supposed to have for each other, don't be presumptuous with your brother or sister's pain.
I think we would do well to focus a little more on this part of the passage than in rushing to judgment on someone else's crumbling marriage. There is always a lot more to the story of how a marriage ends than is ever understood by outsiders. I have heard it said that Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded, and this thread has certainly proved that point.
God freed me from my marriage. He changed the heart of a controlling, abusive narcissist so my son and I can be healthy. So yes, God ending a marriage exists within the realm of possibilities. I ask that you please out of the compassion that believers are supposed to have for each other, don't be presumptuous with your brother or sister's pain.