You are right in seeking counsel from the Lord. I will do so also. Peace brother.
I remember, (how could I forget?) when after the Father delivered me from a religious life, one which believed those awful doctrines which had lead me to believe that I was saved while living in sin, that He first let me feel and know what He thinks about the way things are now with the church. I had spent the last 3 months in tears because of the power of the vision He showed me about my life, what it was worth, and His placing it in Christ on the cross. His love in this one act, (with His showing me how I would not stay there, in His death, and so He would keep me there by His own power,) overwhelmed me completely. I was and remain truly broken in heart and in spirit.
And while praying after this one night, and as I was giving Him every part of me for His use, He spoke to me and showed me why I had become as I was before. He showed me that I had used His scripture to deny Him His righteousness. By taking what I understood by my reason, and making it to fit what I wanted to believe, I had taken His place in my heart, had never really given Him His place there. The only way for me to know His truth, His love, was to depend upon Him completely for all of my truth. I, at that moment, rejected every thing I knew from the bible that was from before, and started anew, learning in a whole new way, and with each day of study under the Spirit's leading, hearing what only He could tell me, seeing truth as He wished for me to see it, was and is wondrous in the extreme. And each time I open His written word to hear His voice, It, His voice, is new and fresh and enlightening, and empowering. It is His compassion, His love for me, to take me aside and teach me in His truth. And this He will do for all of His children.
This is a gift beyond price. Nothing can compare to this walk with Him. I beg of us that we examine our own hearts and seek any thing which could restrain this fellowship with Him in the Spirit. And truly, this is the way that Jesus walked in His time in the world.
The religious will not like this. Why? Because it is not of them. They are not the source of the teaching. The ministers of God to His bride to be is to teach her to know the Lord, how to come to know Him in fullness, that she might become pure and bright and clean and white and without spot or wrinkle or any other thing. How can we fall in love with someone we never spend time with? Yes, I did study the bible then, but was it to learn about God, or to come to know Him? Truthfully, until He took hold of me, I was not coming to know Him. I knew a lot about Him, and a lot about His word, but if I had known Him then as I do now, I would not have lived as I was. He would not have had to shake me to my very core to wake me up from the sleep of death. I only write these things that some others who may need to might be awakened.
Thank you for seeking Him,
vic