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Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in the other members' private lives. Church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... and left it there all night!
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... and left it there all night!
Bless ya'lls heart it just keeps pouring out of ya... way to go body of christ !!! A little
Laughter to brighten the seriousness in rooms... Balance balance balance .... good job and yes!!! Let some sunshine IN!!!
I can't imagine us not having a God who doesnt laugh... can you?? the air is fresher, crisper.. It's like the windows of Heaven open up and a breath of fresh air is let in....
Warmer, brighter, cheerier even !!!
. Oh yes...GODS ALL THAT!!! and then some!!!
keep those jokes coming ... I'm writing them all down ! I laugh at them more than I can tell them ... Learning something new!!
Aaahhhhhh!!!! The smell of clean fresh air ... Definitely joy in this room!!!
Peace y'all !!
Chelle
!!
Laughter to brighten the seriousness in rooms... Balance balance balance .... good job and yes!!! Let some sunshine IN!!!
I can't imagine us not having a God who doesnt laugh... can you?? the air is fresher, crisper.. It's like the windows of Heaven open up and a breath of fresh air is let in....
Warmer, brighter, cheerier even !!!
. Oh yes...GODS ALL THAT!!! and then some!!! keep those jokes coming ... I'm writing them all down ! I laugh at them more than I can tell them ... Learning something new!!
Aaahhhhhh!!!! The smell of clean fresh air ... Definitely joy in this room!!!
Peace y'all !!
Chelle
!!
There is no one else who can humble you, chastize you, heal you, lift you up, correct you, love you and make you laugh with him!
If that does'nt do it for you, well just listen at what children say and do to us as parents, only a loving sence of sence of humor could bring us children!
Im still smiling with a giggle of love from what children bring to us.
God bless
pickles
This one just came to my mind from wayyyyyyy back. It is not bible centered per se but has great application on Christian forums. Oh to have that child like faith.
A freshman the first day at college was asked 'what is 2x2'? upon which he immediately replied 4!!
In his sophomore year and with a little 'education' under his belt was asked what is 2x2?'. After a couple of seconds of hesitation he answered 4.
Junior year rolls along and is asked the same question. He pauses, he ponders, he sweats, and debates within himself and finally with a meekish reply squeaks out '4???'
Finally in his senior year and for the last time he is asked, "What is 4x4?", upon which he immediately pulls out his slide rule and states emphatically 3.999!!!
A freshman the first day at college was asked 'what is 2x2'? upon which he immediately replied 4!!
In his sophomore year and with a little 'education' under his belt was asked what is 2x2?'. After a couple of seconds of hesitation he answered 4.
Junior year rolls along and is asked the same question. He pauses, he ponders, he sweats, and debates within himself and finally with a meekish reply squeaks out '4???'
Finally in his senior year and for the last time he is asked, "What is 4x4?", upon which he immediately pulls out his slide rule and states emphatically 3.999!!!
One day in school, the teacher was talking about ocean life. One of the little boys piped up and said, "Teacher, in the Bible there was a fish so big, that it swallowed a man and had him in his stomach for 3 days! The story of Jonah!" The teacher laughed and said, "That's not possible. Fish can't swallow people and stay alive." The little boy replied, "Well when I get to Heaven, I'll ask Jonah about his experience." The teacher responded, "What if Jonah didn't go to Heaven?"
The little boy's response?
"Well then YOU can ask him."
The little boy's response?
"Well then YOU can ask him."
kids' prayers belief.net
Hail Mary blessed art thou, a monk swimming.
Hail Mary, full of grapes.
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name.
Oh Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?
Give us this steak and daily bread, and forget our mattresses.
born of the Virgin Mary
He suffered under a bunch of violets.
belief.net
Hail Mary blessed art thou, a monk swimming.
Hail Mary, full of grapes.
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name.
Oh Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?
Give us this steak and daily bread, and forget our mattresses.
born of the Virgin Mary
He suffered under a bunch of violets.
K
Christmas Gifts for Men
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #7:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why. (ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!)
Rule #8:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. No one knows why.
Rule #9:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! thanks.")
Rule #10:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. (No one knows why) Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #11:
Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #12:
Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #13:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #14:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
