Should women submit to your husband? Why? How?

[Habbakuk]

Good question. Taking a completely different example, God tells us also to obey the laws of countries, respect our rulers and pay our taxes. These are all just laws, even though they may sometimes come from unjust or ungodly rulers. However, if a country prohibits Christians from spreading the gospel, that's different. I think its the same within marriage. Its strange how many men "love" these type of threads, using it as proof to keep them "submitted". Between the husband and the wife, the husband has the larger responsibility - dying to his wife as Christ died to the church. THAT is the mystery of marriage. The submitting of a wife to a husband is probably a much smaller "submitting" than what the husband should to Christ, and to such a husband, any wife would willfully and happily submit.

I fully support the biblical view (and not the modern / social / cultural views on marriage, but it does seem as if Christian women are getting a raw deal in their marriages. They are very much to a large extent living examples of the Proverbs 31 type woman, whereas the "great" examples of Christian men fulfilling their role as the bible suggest, are indeed scarce.

To answer your question directly, I guess it is possible for the life of a Christian woman to become unlivable if her husband (even Christian) stops her from living her Christian life......lets say for some strange reason, he does not want prayer around the table, or forbids her to attend certain churches.....or does not want to read bible with her or pray with her......such behaviors could make life difficult for any Christian wife. However, God's blessings still rests on a wife who can endure such trials - there are limits though. When abuse becomes physical, or when the safety of children is in question, physical safety takes precedence over emotional survival and separation should be an option.

 

[CRC]

Women of such sort are a credit to their God and maker!!!

 

[just-me]

Is submitting something like following orders given, or does it mean to be aware of correct motivations that emanate from the husband according to the will of God, henceforth being a helpmate to make the husband more keenly aware of acting correctly? The loving relationship is to be propagated and not stifled by visualizing the husband as a father figure instructing his children, or as a slave master, or the same as Christ, seeing all husbands are fallible.

 

[Ella85]

Is submitting something like following orders given, or does it mean to be aware of correct motivations that emanate from the husband according to the will of God, henceforth being a helpmate to make the husband more keenly aware of acting correctly? The loving relationship is to be propagated and not stifled by visualizing the husband as a father figure instructing his children, or as a slave master, or the same as Christ, seeing all husbands are fallible.

I agree 100%

Submitting would be, if he asks you to help him with something you do it, if he needs his meals cooked do it, the list goes on. If you are a stay at home wife and mother I would say you would need to be more submissive, if you go to work your husband would need to share responsibility also. There are 2 ways in which we can be submissive and that is physically and emotionally, so do not neglected his feelings, emotions and sexual needs etc

 

[Angela53510]

I understand that this is a delicate topic and it is not my intention to be unkind but contrary to popular belief, Paul was not teaching mutual submission in marriage in the verse above. "Submitting yourselves one to another" is a general principle of submitting to the one in authority over you (i.e. wives submit to their husbands, children to their parents, and servants to their masters). However, as per verses 22-24, wives are the ones to submit, not the other way around...

Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. <= Christ does not submit to the church but rather the church is subject to Christ. Likewise, the husband does not submit to his wife. That a Christian wife is to submit to her head (husband) does not give him the right to misuse his headship. He has an important God-given responsibility to love his wife unconditionally and be the spiritual leader of his family. He is accountable to God for how he treats his family. I think if one desires a wholesome marriage they should follow God's design instead of modern Western culture that devalues marriage.

Good post, OP (womanofchrist27).

Actually, "submitting" does not occur in the Greek in Verse 22 of Eph. 5

"[SUP]21 [/SUP]ὑποτασσόμενοι ἀλλήλοις ἐν φόβῳ Χριστοῦ.[SUP]22 [/SUP]Αἱ γυναῖκες τοῖς ἰδίοις [SUP][[/SUP]ἀνδράσιν ὡς τῷ κυρίῳ,"

The word "ὑποτασσόμενοι" or upotassomenoi means to come under or submit, and it only appears in verse 22, next to the word "ἀλλήλοις" allelois or "one another."

As for the many of the other references, they are household codes. Paul's goal in writing these letters, was to instruct the church in the most important thing, which was to bring the gospel to the lost. He reinforced various Romans and Greek household codes so the way marriages in the church were run would win people to Christ. Not because these necessarily were universal principals.

The same goes for Paul's tacit approval of slavery, which was used for centuries to justify slavery, especially in the American south.

"For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, [SUP]16 [/SUP]no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord." Philemon 15-16

Paul never tells Philemon to free Onesimus. But rather to treat him like a brother in Christ. Because the abolishment of slavery, while a laudable ideal, was not going to happen in that society. Instead, Paul encourages the best in slave owners, that is, treating their slaves as brothers and sisters in Christ. That does not mean he endorses slavery, but rather his primary goal was to spread the gospel, regardless of what was happening in society.

I am so glad to live in a day and age where slavery has been abolished, (except perhaps the perfidious sin of child prostitution!) and women and men can mutually submit to each other in Christ. It was William Wilberforce, a Christian that led the first fight against slavery in the British Empire, and spent his whole life fighting against the horror of slavery.

I pray we can all fight against this doctrine that wrongly claims that roles are what matter in marriages, instead of both partners loving each other, and submitting to each other out of reverence for Christ.

 

[secularhermit]

So? One submits to the present secular egalitarian philosophy of le jour, so what's the difference? That may be the perceived view of the christian faith, but since when is secularism our judge... they have produced and support many machisimo cultures of their own.

I don´t know about you, sir, but as long as I stay earth I have to live by the faith that made me strong, not weak and surely many lied on what they said they are not lay or secular. If (we) Christians were a mayority, life could be different and, when each world war started, those "principles" have changed widely and secularism has prevailed and nobody would deny it by more lies. I´m not concerned on how I´m seen, but on how I lived (my own life) and I´m only 53, not more.

 

[just-me]

I agree 100%

Submitting would be, if he asks you to help him with something you do it, if he needs his meals cooked do it, the list goes on. If you are a stay at home wife and mother I would say you would need to be more submissive, if you go to work your husband would need to share responsibility also. There are 2 ways in which we can be submissive and that is physically and emotionally, so do not neglected his feelings, emotions and sexual needs etc

Many only read Ephesians concerning husband wife relationships according to the will of God but Paul goes into detail in 1 Corinthians 7:1-6
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless , to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

Ephesians 5:20-25
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Communication is imperative. Mutual respect and understanding is vital. With 43 years of experience, married to the same wonderful woman for that time, (not to say we know it all) there must be a mindset of equal status and respect in the heart of both of us. Yes, even though she has her place, and I have mine in relation to the Word of God equity is vital, knowing God is a God of equity.

Of importance, we all should understand that if the wife fails to do what is right, the husband is prohibited from doing what is right. In like manner, if an egotistical husband is a controller of the wife, she is unable to follow through with what is right in the sight of God. As of late, we have been studying that an unequal balance is an abomination unto our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. What goes around, comes around.

 

[just-me]

To continue. Intimacy should always begin with the connection from each others heart. It should NEVER be self-centered. The connection should first begin with the desire just to connect and be together in love and Spirit. If it leads to the physical that is great, but the connection should never be founded on the physical but the feeling and comprehensive dearness of just being together in the presents of God. God created all physical things by the Word in Spirit. Motivation of endearment, just liking to be together in love is where it starts. That should, and must be the foundation, not the other way around.

 

[starfield]

It's a delicate topic because it has been perverted by men who are power hungry ignorant tyrants. The ironic thing is that it takes a zillion times more heart, guts, honor, bravery and self control (traits a real man exhibits) to do it Christ's way..... (Btw...I struggle with these traits at times ) than it does for a primitive chest beating idiot coward to be driven by his fear and insecurity.

It's also delicate because of the influence of feminism on the church. Whenever biblical marital submission is brought up, the feminists always protest and make unfounded claims.

 

[Sirk]

When God was handing out the consequences to Adam and Eve he said the the woman's desire would be for the husband. What do you think he meant by that?

 

[4enlightment]

In any relationship one must lead and the other must love the one whom lead decisions, like this for an example, If the man of the house wanted to paint the house pink, but the woman wanted it to be painted blue, which that show that the two aren't in agreement with one another. But God doesn't believe in divorce, unless the other partner deeply desire strongly from the heart to be in total agreement with another and have no desires to be with the one they are with; and so one must give in or compromise until they come to an agreement or the overall decision and which it is called being civil.