Starting the process of conquering problems with others including family

[just-me]

I think that Scripture does indeed tell her to obey her husband.

When you gave the land, you could have said something like: 'I'm giving you this land provided you maintain it, pay taxes on it, and keep it in the family. If you can't or won't do these things I want it back'.

If you didn't do that you lost the opportunity.

Our daughter attempts to maintain it, and it causes problems when we attempt to help her. The other two things that you mentioned where clear before given and signing over the property to their name. If I was to attempt to retrieve it, I would have to sue which is out of the question. That will not happen no matter what! Our son-in-law is only at home about 30% of the time, and right after they were married he joined the army after a stretch in the Marines. He is now an officer in the fire department after going to college to be an engineer. He went to college just to prove to his dad he could graduate. He joined the army to get a medical education (parametric) because he couldn't get a job. He is continuing to pursue further education and we know not why. Any income after paying the bills are used to by him toys of sorts. there is no room left in their basement, and we cannot walk through the shed to the chicken coop. A junk boat is sitting in the front yard that was purchased before they moved in 9 years ago. It has been used twice. and now the trailer needs wheels because they have rotted.

 

[just-me]

Are we not obligated according to the Word of God and as the older generation to teach principles to our children that work according to our Lord Jesus Christ no matter how old our children are?

 

[just-me]

This is where it's at right now. Please pray that the tactics of the devil be revealed to my entire family so we are able to collectively address them (or it) in peace and love. In fact pray for your own community and family and the nation and the world and for Israel. We are in the days comaprable with the time of Noah.

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." (Ephesians 6:13)

The doctrine of Balaam runs rampant. The compromise of Saul is dominating the world.

https://www.facebook.com/max.shimbaministries/posts/1477234892494947

 

[MarcR]

We are indeed. At leas three things are at issue:

1) I believe our role of teaching our children principles should be accomplished before they are adults.

2) In 1st Century Israel, girls received the status of women at age 12; while we have 6 additional years to influence them.

3) While it is arguable whether honoring parents includes obedience in adults; the command that a wife obey her husband is clear.

 

[just-me]

We are indeed. At leas three things are at issue:

1) I believe our role of teaching our children principles should be accomplished before they are adults.

2) In 1st Century Israel, girls received the status of women at age 12; while we have 6 additional years to influence them.

3) While it is arguable whether honoring parents includes obedience in adults; the command that a wife obey her husband is clear.

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;" (Mark 10:7)

For 38 years our daughter has totally understood and revered our teachings and instructions. That also goes for our oldest grandson who is also concerned about his parents and grandparents schism. He has also been trying to mediate and his parents refuse the assistance and refuse to talk with us.

We didn't instruct our daughter how to have a nervous breakdown. I do however greatly appreciate your contributions. May God bless you richly, for your good caring heart is seen. Thanks.

 

[just-me]

Despite the natural human response of retaliation and revenge when we are wronged, believers are instructed to react with love and see persecution as a blessing. Scripture says, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you…If you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.” 1 Peter 4:12-16 (NIV)
While “painful trials” includes suffering that is not always persecution-related, this passage shows us how to respond when we face persecution: We are not to be surprised; we are to rejoice; we are to be overjoyed because His glory is revealed in our suffering. If we are insulted because of Christ, we are to know we are blessed and that the Spirit of glory and God are on us.

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!" (Matthew 23:37)

A profound thanks to all that have participated to this point. God bless you all!!

 

[MarcR]

I truly sympathize with your situation and I will pray for you.

Your daughter's scriptural obligations to obey her husband are not set aside even if her husband is totally wrong and totally unreasonable. Don't invent a whole new game of monkey in the middle and force your daughter to play the monkey!

 

[just-me]

I truly sympathize with your situation and I will pray for you.

Your daughter's scriptural obligations to obey her husband are not set aside even if her husband is totally wrong and totally unreasonable. Don't invent a whole new game of monkey in the middle and force your daughter to play the monkey!

We are silent at this point and are waiting patiently to forgive and reconcile, but any instigation of any kind or suggesting conversing on our part to address this thing will be rejected. That has been proven and our grandson agrees with those non actions on our part at this time. It's all in the hands of God now. As David said.... The battle's not mine, but God's. Thanks again

 

[just-me]

According to the way I see a family land inheritance in the Bible, is that it was the very entity of a mutual interest that all members of the family were involved in as generations came and went. It was meant to be a substantial part of family cohesiveness according to the will of God, and it was to be maintained according to the promises defined in the law and the knowledge of the previous generation passed on to the younger simply because of love. As generations passed it was the intention of God from the beginning the the land would become more fertile and richer, causing wealth and prosperity for all members. It would have been a blessing to the previous generation just to see God's blessings poured out on those they love so much. Never was it meant or to be source of contention because of the recipients demanding that it was necessary to reject the elders input as to how to maintain the property, to the entire family. There never comes a time in anyone's life that they are intelligent enough to know it all, and allows that they demand the destruction of family mutual interests.

"One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts." Psalm 145:4

"Remember ye the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments.Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord:And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." Malachi 4:4-6

"For enquire, I pray thee, of the former age, and prepare thyself to the search of their fathers:" Job 8:8

"A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just." Proverbs 13:22

"And Moses swore on that day, saying, ‘Surely the land on which your foot has trodden shall be an inheritance for you and your children forever, because you have wholly followed the Lord my God." Joshua 14:9

"Behold, I have set the land before you: go in and possess the land which the Lord sware unto your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give unto them and to their seed after them." Deuteronomy 1:8

"And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.But I have said unto you, Ye shall inherit their land, and I will give it unto you to possess it, a land that floweth with milk and honey: I am the Lord your God, which have separated you from other people." Leviticus 20:23-24

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:7

 

[oldthennew]

Peace and blessings upon your house.

your daughter is one of your primary inheritances -
I would concentrate on her health and well-ness
instead of the land or any other worldly goods.

 

[just-me]

When my dad died in 1974 his worth was $125,000 in cash assets. After the IRS and lawyer's only $40,000 was left between 4 children. In order for the inheritor not to have most of the inheritance taken away, I thought it prudent to relinquish my name from the deed. In so doing my children would not have to suffer loss simply to legal and government greed. With this ungodly system, it only takes only two or three generations of time until all is lost. As we know, the family farm is all but extinct and mostly cooperate farms are all that's left, them finding it necessary to use synthetic means to grow food just to produce enough capital to stay in business. Henceforth even butchered cattle and all clean foods according to the Bible are corrupted according to God's creation. This contributes to disease as it is prophesied to worsen in the last days. Man's legal policies, that are opposed to God's legality for our blessing, is like the priestly tribe of Levi taking land away from the family as soon as the original owner dies off, and then demanding the children to pay half or better of its assessed value before the rightful inheritor (opposed to God's will) can posses it. If it cannot be paid it is taken away from the entire family and they have nothing left to benefit from. This ridiculousness has been made possible (in part) by the church preaching that God's laws to Israel do not apply to us today causing a certain obliviousness to the reality of life the way God would like us recognize. What a travesty!!!!!

 

[just-me]

Peace and blessings upon your house.

your daughter is one of your primary inheritances -
I would concentrate on her health and well-ness
instead of the land or any other worldly goods.

We have and it has backfired, but all we can do now is pray and be silent. Please pray also if you will. God bless both of you because of the Godly love that has been revealed in your hearts toward us.

 

[just-me]

Even though the property is no longer or legally ours, what is the problem of saying "this is how we have found to grow the best garden when we lived here, and we desire to pass that knowledge on to you so that you can receive the benefits?" Should that cause contention just because they wanted to do it their way at first and we all saw the groundhogs ate all their produce after our son-in-law took the fence down that was once there much to our daughters dismay? Is it really true that after children reach a certain age that parents are no longer obligated, and even prohibited to advise in respect to loving our children God's way? Are we to love our neighbor as ourselves more than our own family?

 

[JesusistheChrist]

Even though the property is no longer or legally ours, what is the problem of saying "this is how we have found to grow the best garden when we lived here, and we desire to pass that knowledge on to you so that you can receive the benefits?" Should that cause contention just because they wanted to do it their way at first and we all saw the groundhogs ate all their produce after our son-in-law took the fence down that was once there much to our daughters dismay? Is it really true that after children reach a certain age that parents are no longer obligated, and even prohibited to advise in respect to loving our children God's way? Are we to love our neighbor as ourselves more than our own family?

This may sound harsh, but here's the portion of scripture which kept on coming to my mind as I was reading all of the posts here:

Acts chapter 4

[32] And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.
[33] And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all.
[34] Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold,
[35] And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.
[36] And Joses, who by the apostles was surnamed Barnabas, (which is, being interpreted, The son of consolation,) a Levite, and of the country of Cyprus,
[37] Having land, sold it, and brought the money, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

I understand that as a father you want what is best for your daughter, but once you gave her that land it became hers and not yours. You've already advised both her and her husband and now the choice is ultimately theirs to make. Might all be lost? Yes, it might, but we simply cannot ever force our own wills or desires upon others. I mean, even God the Father doesn't do that, but He allows us to make our own choices...even if they lead to ruin or destruction. Oh, He'll try to intervene, even as you and your wife have done, but, nevertheless, He does allow us to make our own choices and I'm suggesting that you let your daughter and her husband do the same. Believe me, I don't suggest the same lightly, especially in that I have three children of my own and I might find myself in a similar situation somewhere down the line, but I do believe that God's example is always the best example.

For whatever that's worth...

 

[Viligant_Warrior]

We have and it has backfired, but all we can do now is pray and be silent. Please pray also if you will. God bless both of you because of the Godly love that has been revealed in your hearts toward us.

Even though the property is no longer or legally ours, what is the problem of saying "this is how we have found to grow the best garden when we lived here, and we desire to pass that knowledge on to you so that you can receive the benefits?" Should that cause contention just because they wanted to do it their way at first and we all saw the groundhogs ate all their produce after our son-in-law took the fence down that was once there much to our daughters dismay? Is it really true that after children reach a certain age that parents are no longer obligated, and even prohibited to advise in respect to loving our children God's way? Are we to love our neighbor as ourselves more than our own family?

I got to say, Just, these two posts are 24 minutes apart. In the first, you appear to give it all to God. In the second, you appear to take it all back. In reality, I don't think you ever let go of it.

That's a problem, and not your daughter's, brother. Live in the attitude you expressed in the first post, not the one (that is most likely where you actually are) in the second.

 

[peacefulbeliever]

Even though the property is no longer or legally ours, what is the problem of saying "this is how we have found to grow the best garden when we lived here, and we desire to pass that knowledge on to you so that you can receive the benefits?" Should that cause contention just because they wanted to do it their way at first and we all saw the groundhogs ate all their produce after our son-in-law took the fence down that was once there much to our daughters dismay? Is it really true that after children reach a certain age that parents are no longer obligated, and even prohibited to advise in respect to loving our children God's way? Are we to love our neighbor as ourselves more than our own family?

No . . it should not cause contentions. You know the land and you know the best way to steward the land to reap the benefits. But they are adults now and may or may not listen just as small children may or may not listen.

Parents will always "suggest" ways of doing things because of their experience BUT our advice will not always be heeded.

My daughter is married and has a family of her own. We suggest what we think is best but leave it in their hands as they are adults. I don't believe, even though we are still her parents, that we should interfere in their learning the essentials of life through trial and experience of their own.

 

[just-me]

This may sound harsh, but here's the portion of scripture which kept on coming to my mind as I was reading all of the posts here:

Acts chapter 4

[32] And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.
[33] And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all.
[34] Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold,
[35] And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.
[36] And Joses, who by the apostles was surnamed Barnabas, (which is, being interpreted, The son of consolation,) a Levite, and of the country of Cyprus,
[37] Having land, sold it, and brought the money, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

I understand that as a father you want what is best for your daughter, but once you gave her that land it became hers and not yours. You've already advised both her and her husband and now the choice is ultimately theirs to make. Might all be lost? Yes, it might, but we simply cannot ever force our own wills or desires upon others. I mean, even God the Father doesn't do that, but He allows us to make our own choices...even if they lead to ruin or destruction. Oh, He'll try to intervene, even as you and your wife have done, but, nevertheless, He does allow us to make our own choices and I'm suggesting that you let your daughter and her husband do the same. Believe me, I don't suggest the same lightly, especially in that I have three children of my own and I might find myself in a similar situation somewhere down the line, but I do believe that God's example is always the best example.

For whatever that's worth...

We have allowed that at the beginning but as time passed we saw health problems, and anxiety coming to the forefront, drawing our attention. Our reaction (which were not preliminary) was to help with suggestions not demands even though our son-in-law determined our actions as controlling rather than wanting to help and alleviate stress. Thank you for your input.

 

[just-me]

No . . it should not cause contentions. You know the land and you know the best way to steward the land to reap the benefits. But they are adults now and may or may not listen just as small children may or may not listen.

Parents will always "suggest" ways of doing things because of their experience BUT our advice will not always be heeded.

My daughter is married and has a family of her own. We suggest what we think is best but leave it in their hands as they are adults. I don't believe, even though we are still her parents, that we should interfere in their learning the essentials of life through trial and experience of their own.

Agreed. The revelation of loving will be compulsive if it's truly real. Understanding how to do that with the idiosyncrasies of inlaws can be challenging and even seem impossible at times proving God's way is the only way. Thank you sis!

 

[just-me]

I got to say, Just, these two posts are 24 minutes apart. In the first, you appear to give it all to God. In the second, you appear to take it all back. In reality, I don't think you ever let go of it.

That's a problem, and not your daughter's, brother. Live in the attitude you expressed in the first post, not the one (that is most likely where you actually are) in the second.

Thank you. The 2nd post is revealing a chagrin of mine (we are compelled to be silent because of this description given previous to the silence) that has been imposted on all of us. It's reality as you indicate saying "that is mos likely where you actually are". I don't deny that because in reality we are all there and should recognize that Man's ways are not God's ways. this post is in addition to the post of mine that you mentioned

 

[JesusistheChrist]

We have allowed that at the beginning but as time passed we saw health problems, and anxiety coming to the forefront, drawing our attention. Our reaction (which were not preliminary) was to help with suggestions not demands even though our son-in-law determined our actions as controlling rather than wanting to help and alleviate stress. Thank you for your input.

Look, I feel for you...I truly, truly do, but, since you're apparently some sort of farmer, you need to realize that the best that we can ever do as "laborers together with God" (I Cor. 3:9) is to "plant" and "water" as God alone can ever "give the increase" (I Cor. 3:7). Again, I know that such is easier said than done, but none of us can ever accomplish what God alone can accomplish when people willfully submit to Him and His will. The last thing that you want to do is to allow your own health to be affected by this. You've "planted", you've "watered"...now it's time to just continue in prayer. Know that God wants what's best for your daughter and son-in-law even more than you do, but He has to wait on them as well. We're simply not greater than God, nor can we force our own wills upon anybody else...even if/when our own wills are what is best for them. I'll certainly pray for your situation. Just try to rest in God.