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I kinda regret something that happened with one woman in October... it was different from all my other relationship experience because it was actually fun. I actually enjoyed being with her, joking together, it was a laugh and she had morals. Then I messed it up one night. She wanted me and I thought that she only wanted me for sex. But she wasn't like that, she actually wanted me for me. I regret it, I promised myself i wouldn't regret it at the time, but I do. She was different from all the other women I've had experience with... it was fun, exciting and nice too.
I haven't really spoken to her since that night.
I haven't really spoken to her since that night.
If it was a matter of misunderstanding, would it hurt to try to straighten it out? Communication is a huge part of relationships... we cannot expect the other person to always know what we want or what we are thinking or feeling. A great many traumas to the psyche happen due to lack of understanding. Even if it did not "fix" the problem, it may go some distance to giving you and her peace of mind around it, and that in itself is worth a lot...
This video was on point in some ways, and a bit eccentric in others. The person editing in derisive subtitles and imagery made the video cynical instead of just correctional. But, the man counseling the couple did put his finger on a bad power dynamic.
We live in a spiritual war. In a war, a squad has a leader. They may not always agree with the leader's orders, but if they all follow the orders they have a better chance of surviving than if they split up every time they disagree. That is to say, sometimes there are two possible right answers, and half the squad prefers the first, half the squad prefers the second. Either one will work but only if the whole squad does it together. Therefore the leader chooses. That is the function of a leader, to prevent a losses caused by division. It is because the greatest power in a group isn't having the -best strategy- but -the best unity-. Now apply this to families, and you will see why a family must have a head, in a time of spiritual war when forces come against it to 'divide the house' so it cannot stand.
Regarding women leaders in church, God can and has anointed women. However, God did set up a pattern of male leadership. It is ultimately God who decides (not a male pastor or a male video editor who thinks Paul's doctrines supersede God's sovereignty). But just like in the Garden of Eden, the world is making its own proposition of self-advancement to women -- to take it for themselves instead of doing it God's way.
Here is how it may play out; a woman may be hurt by the men in her life as she grows up. She may have fear and resentment toward them so that she has to grow up without them. So when she grows into her anointing without a spiritual father, she may father herself. In any case, she may also link up with a man who was emasculated and shamed by women as he grew up. And he too may develop in an incomplete way, and their dysfunction can fit together.
Now God could use them to heal eachother, but the enemy could use them to sabotage eachother, or the world could use them as an empty counterfeit, and they may mistake the approval of the world for God's approval. If they are afraid, if they are sore, if they are hiding wounds and unable to submit it openly to God; if the woman is afraid the man will abuse her because others did, and the man is afraid she will accuse him because others did, that becomes a structure of fear that alters the power balance. And if they come to a fork in the road where they could go either way together but they're both afraid of the other's choice, what will happen to them? Will they stumble down the path together as a two headed body, or will they tear themselves apart?
Marriage is a crucible that brings out fears and old wounds. I could talk at length about how men have the symbolic role of strength, but we have as much human weakness as women, and so we need God's grace in order to lead, and we need support from women, we can't be men by ourselves. In fact in the same way having a baby may anchor some women to make better decisions, having a good woman can anchor a man. But this is a thread about women, so I'll just address this:
Essentially this is the sentiment that says, A woman cannot submit in a godly way because a man has not led in a godly way. But both the power to submit and the power to lead come from God, and whoever goes to God first gets this power -- whoever seeks to serve first -- is leading in the spirit by their heart. The world's teaching on status and power has turned submission into a dirty word, but what was Christ doing on the Cross? He wasn't waiting for the disciples to serve him, or waiting for the angels to save him. He was submitting. It is possible to tear a hole into heaven through hell by submitting. To pour hot coals on someone's head by repaying good for evil; to break a hard man's heart by soft answers and forgiveness. But you have to see the beauty of what Christ was submitting to, 'for the joy set before him'. And it may not look like the world told you it would.
I think it could be straightened out, just difficult cos she lives an hour away from me. And I haven't got my driving license yet... hard place to get to from where I live. Would need to take 2 different busses. Plus I have so much work with college... with it being the last month of it. If stuff were different it could work. But as stuff are at the moment, just can't work. I do regret not making it work when it was available and when the chance was there though.
I also think that fear plays a part... because of how relationships and girls have been in the past, I fear with this too. I fear falling for her or something to go wrong. I was just amazed when it was happening, that I had nothing to fear at all, that she liked me. But I do fear getting with girls.. I have had some chances over the last few months with some girls wanting me, but out of fear I just straight out reject and start to ignore them.
I also think that fear plays a part... because of how relationships and girls have been in the past, I fear with this too. I fear falling for her or something to go wrong. I was just amazed when it was happening, that I had nothing to fear at all, that she liked me. But I do fear getting with girls.. I have had some chances over the last few months with some girls wanting me, but out of fear I just straight out reject and start to ignore them.
That's a common misconception, and it's done a lot of damage to people and families. Let's be clear. There is an exception to the wives submit (obey) your husbands instruction, and that exception is sin. Husbands have absolutely no right, authority or business commanding their wives to sin. Wives are not obligated to obey sinful commands given by their husbands. Christ (our bridegroom) NEVER commands us his beloved church to sin. Submission is absolutely conditional.
A
Cant speak to the last two. But what is wrong with believing you are special?
I tell my kids they are special and so is everyone else. We are all uniquely made by our living Father and special to him.
The other two need to learn that circumstances and feeling aren't what a solid marriage is based upon.
A solid marriage is based upon Christlile sacrificial love for the other spouse,forgiveness, and communication from BOTH husband and wife.
I tell my kids they are special and so is everyone else. We are all uniquely made by our living Father and special to him.
The other two need to learn that circumstances and feeling aren't what a solid marriage is based upon.
A solid marriage is based upon Christlile sacrificial love for the other spouse,forgiveness, and communication from BOTH husband and wife.
Why did God choose to create Eve from Adam's rib? He could have chosen any part of the body, or chose to create her from clay, but he chose Adam's rib.
God made man the head of woman, and woman to be the heart of man. When they are joined together, they are to become one body in Christ. If the heart fails, the body fails. If the head fails, the body fails. Every day for the past 56 years, the bonds between Mama and I have grown stronger, because we know that we are one.
I believe that God chose to use Adam's rib because he intended for Adam to cover Eve's heart.
God made man the head of woman, and woman to be the heart of man. When they are joined together, they are to become one body in Christ. If the heart fails, the body fails. If the head fails, the body fails. Every day for the past 56 years, the bonds between Mama and I have grown stronger, because we know that we are one.
I believe that God chose to use Adam's rib because he intended for Adam to cover Eve's heart.
P
I council a lot in this area. 35yrs of marriage and still going strong.
The scriptures point out 2 things. Women respond to love. Men respond to respect. That is how God made them. Now God tells us how to intertwine this relationship in one.
Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church. Women submit to your husband.
When a women feels unloved or let's say less loved in a relationship she tends to challenge her husband in decisions in everyday communication.
When a husband is challenged he feels the need to Lord over his bride. Which in turn makes her rebel and challenge even more.
It can start out so innocent but end up war.
We all have our pet peeves but the issue could escalate to great big blowouts.
A women who is emotionally satisfied by her husband (not sexually) emotionally will respond by revereing her husband. Which in turn causes him to love her more.
The scriptures point out 2 things. Women respond to love. Men respond to respect. That is how God made them. Now God tells us how to intertwine this relationship in one.
Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church. Women submit to your husband.
When a women feels unloved or let's say less loved in a relationship she tends to challenge her husband in decisions in everyday communication.
When a husband is challenged he feels the need to Lord over his bride. Which in turn makes her rebel and challenge even more.
It can start out so innocent but end up war.
We all have our pet peeves but the issue could escalate to great big blowouts.
A women who is emotionally satisfied by her husband (not sexually) emotionally will respond by revereing her husband. Which in turn causes him to love her more.