I never thought I'd break a bone or get stitches. I've never broken a bone, but I cut my thumb so bad it would never close up without stitches. I thought that was a fluke, but then I cut my other thumb, and needed stitches. And again, 3 times is needed stitches in my thumbs.
I never thought I would have a prayer not come true- a prayer that I had no second doubts about. For example, I've prayed to own my own house, but even though I believed it was in accordance with God's Will, I second guessed myself if I was right. But for things I never second guessed, I never thought it wouldn't happen.
For years my prayers always 'worked'. I never took advantage of it, nor could I because of my conscience sake- in order to be a real prayer my conscience had to be in check. I prayed I'd have a boy- I had a boy. I prayed I'd have a girl- I had a girl. I prayed my son would live- and even though they told me he would be severely physically and mentally handicapped, and probably not even make it through the first week, there was never a doubt in my mind. He wasn't handicapped at all, and he's soon to be 27.
Up until 2 years ago, my prayers had never failed once. Then my son was telling me about the dangers of his job, and I said "No worries, I pray for you to be safe." And the very next day he worked he got majorly hurt. His teeth got busted out while he was up on an electric pole. I'm glad he at least didn't fall, but was able to climb down, wish he would have been in a bucket truck.
For the first time ever, my faith got violated. But when the smoke cleared, my faith still stands. Still, I don't understand. I felt like Eijah asked for fire from heaven, and got nothing. I still can't make sense of it. The only difference I can think of is that I had finally came to the point in my life that I wasn't going to be anyone else's victim. I'm still going to do the Christian thing, but remove myself from abuse. If I keep being a doormat, letting people walk all over me, they will kill me, is that what He wants?