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M
S
Thank you everyone for being honest with me.
I am broken and misguided. I am lost and I believe that I am not a fully invested Christian. I am stupid and I have taken a great risk with my soul for many years. God has been merciful to me not to have stricken me down even though I continue to fail him and deny how wrong my actions are.
Whoever will, please pray for me. I need prayer so badly right now. I looked myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long time looked deeply into my own eyes. I see a man that wants to get right with God and be the person He intended me to be. I see a liar, an adulter an a hypocrite. I see someone that is hard for me to love. Please pray for me folks. I know what I've posted is some of the most horrendous of all things you can do to your spouse and also my own soul. I can't take back what is already done but I can try to get right with God and follow the steps Mamachickadee posted above to the letter. I need friends to help me along the way and I need God to guide me. Thank you again and please keep me in your prayers. I will continue to monitor this thread and will stand up to answer any questions anyone posts. I am full of a lifetime of poor judgement and failure so I weakest among you.
I am broken and misguided. I am lost and I believe that I am not a fully invested Christian. I am stupid and I have taken a great risk with my soul for many years. God has been merciful to me not to have stricken me down even though I continue to fail him and deny how wrong my actions are.
Whoever will, please pray for me. I need prayer so badly right now. I looked myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long time looked deeply into my own eyes. I see a man that wants to get right with God and be the person He intended me to be. I see a liar, an adulter an a hypocrite. I see someone that is hard for me to love. Please pray for me folks. I know what I've posted is some of the most horrendous of all things you can do to your spouse and also my own soul. I can't take back what is already done but I can try to get right with God and follow the steps Mamachickadee posted above to the letter. I need friends to help me along the way and I need God to guide me. Thank you again and please keep me in your prayers. I will continue to monitor this thread and will stand up to answer any questions anyone posts. I am full of a lifetime of poor judgement and failure so I weakest among you.
M
Gal. 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
John 10:7-18 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”
If you have come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, You are His and He is yours. Nothing can change that.
John 10:24-30 So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” 25 Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name bear witness about me, 26 but you do not believe because you are not among my sheep. 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me,[a] is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”
John 10:7-18 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”
If you have come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, You are His and He is yours. Nothing can change that.
John 10:24-30 So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” 25 Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name bear witness about me, 26 but you do not believe because you are not among my sheep. 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me,[a] is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”
Dear Sorrowfulone,
I woke up this morning thinking about you. Then I prayed for you. I prayed that you understand God is watching us all the time. I prayed that you love God above all. I prayed you love yourself. I prayed that you know you have friends here on CC no matter what. We all have experiences to share and how God has helped us through, so you came to the right place.
We are all weak with out Christ Jesus our Lord. We are strong because we asked Him to lead us on our journey here on earth. We want to make him proud and we want to help others to have peace and joy and know the strength only He can give.
Blessings
I woke up this morning thinking about you. Then I prayed for you. I prayed that you understand God is watching us all the time. I prayed that you love God above all. I prayed you love yourself. I prayed that you know you have friends here on CC no matter what. We all have experiences to share and how God has helped us through, so you came to the right place.
We are all weak with out Christ Jesus our Lord. We are strong because we asked Him to lead us on our journey here on earth. We want to make him proud and we want to help others to have peace and joy and know the strength only He can give.
Blessings
I don't think your marriage will heal until you have both done the hard work necessary for complete healing AND happiness.
Love is really a choice....we choose to love or not to love. Being attracted to someone may be the beginning but it is not the end.
It does take great courage to confess an infidelity that has been going on for years. Especially after getting upset with her because of a picture she sent....knowing in your heart that you have done much worse.
Radical surgery is needed to extract the cancer...that means total honesty with each other with the goal of becoming closer as man and wife. This will take the leading of the Holy Spirit. Make Him the main goal in your lives and He will help you to heal your marriage.
Are you attending church together? Hearing the Word of God preached is a great motivator for change and transformation. Pray and read the Bible together. Go to counseling. Find mature Christian mentors. There's many ways to put Christ in the center of your lives and your marriage.
There is always hope where there is repentance,love, and forgiveness. Praying for you both...may the Spirit lead you into abundant living
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Love is really a choice....we choose to love or not to love. Being attracted to someone may be the beginning but it is not the end.
It does take great courage to confess an infidelity that has been going on for years. Especially after getting upset with her because of a picture she sent....knowing in your heart that you have done much worse.
Radical surgery is needed to extract the cancer...that means total honesty with each other with the goal of becoming closer as man and wife. This will take the leading of the Holy Spirit. Make Him the main goal in your lives and He will help you to heal your marriage.
Are you attending church together? Hearing the Word of God preached is a great motivator for change and transformation. Pray and read the Bible together. Go to counseling. Find mature Christian mentors. There's many ways to put Christ in the center of your lives and your marriage.
There is always hope where there is repentance,love, and forgiveness. Praying for you both...may the Spirit lead you into abundant living
.
S
Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Please include me in your prayers. I need as much strength and guidance as God can give me because I have lived the life of a cowardly and weak person for many years. I don't know how long the journey will be from start to finish but I wish that I could snap my fingers and be to the point that I can tell my wife of all the wrongs I've done to her. I believe God has moved me to this point and definitely led me to this website with all you wonderful people. Time will tell what will become of the mess I've made.
S
Thank you for your prayer. I deserve to be called stupid and I'm grateful for your support. I told the other woman today that I can't talk to her regardless of the consequences. She has held what we've done over my head long enough and I need to stand up and be as strong as I can be. I have felt the power of everyone's prayers as well as my own. Hopefully it will give me and my family the strength to hold together once the truth is finally revealed. I'm at a loss for who to confide in because I don't have any real friends. Again, thank you for praying and for your straightforwardness.
S
One more thing and I will stop posting so much.....
My wife has been doing everything she can to make things right. She has asked God for forgiveness first and foremost. She has been doing a Bible study program similar to the one on the movie Fireproof. She has been very humble when I have been critical of what she did. She does so many nice things for me I couldn't even list them. Even when I requested that she sleep somewhere else for a week she didn't argue. She humbly did as I requested. I don't deserve to be treated like she treats me. I feel so ashamed and in a way I think that God has directed her to do the things she does so that I can see the error of my behavior.
I am so weak spiritually. Although I read the Bible at least a couple of times a week and I have a serious conversation with the Lord seemingly on a continual basis, I still feel like I am not strong enough to get through this. I realize that I made the mess and I will never feel whole until I tell her but I hope against hope that we are stronger in the end with God in our life and no one else interfering.
My wife has been doing everything she can to make things right. She has asked God for forgiveness first and foremost. She has been doing a Bible study program similar to the one on the movie Fireproof. She has been very humble when I have been critical of what she did. She does so many nice things for me I couldn't even list them. Even when I requested that she sleep somewhere else for a week she didn't argue. She humbly did as I requested. I don't deserve to be treated like she treats me. I feel so ashamed and in a way I think that God has directed her to do the things she does so that I can see the error of my behavior.
I am so weak spiritually. Although I read the Bible at least a couple of times a week and I have a serious conversation with the Lord seemingly on a continual basis, I still feel like I am not strong enough to get through this. I realize that I made the mess and I will never feel whole until I tell her but I hope against hope that we are stronger in the end with God in our life and no one else interfering.
S
Hello Sorrowfulone:
God said: If you have aught against your brother go and make peace with him before you offer your gift else your gift is of no good to me (pp)
God also said that for us to receive His forgiveness we are first to set ourselves right with those we have done wrong to and to forgive those who have wronged us.
&&& Jesus said He who is without sin may cast the first stone.
If I were in your shoes I would first bring it to the Counsellor, Prince of Peace, our Almighty God for guidance, His strength and courage and ask Him to help you save the love of your youth.
also to cut all ties with the woman you had an affair with.
and to make amends with your wife.
God says that no one sin is greater than another.
&&& God says that when we correct a brother who is guilty of sin, do so with love lest we should also slip and need her mercy and understanding.
//quote: I have struggled with this for over a year, trying to put it in perspective. Still I cannot rationalize why anyone would do it. To me it is adultery. I am hurt but I really shouldn't be if she knew the truth about me. I have been harsh and hurt by her actions but truly I shouldn't be.
God said, before you seek to pull the mote out of thy brother's eye first pull you the beam out of your eye so you may see more clearly to help your brother.
God said: If you have aught against your brother go and make peace with him before you offer your gift else your gift is of no good to me (pp)
God also said that for us to receive His forgiveness we are first to set ourselves right with those we have done wrong to and to forgive those who have wronged us.
&&& Jesus said He who is without sin may cast the first stone.
If I were in your shoes I would first bring it to the Counsellor, Prince of Peace, our Almighty God for guidance, His strength and courage and ask Him to help you save the love of your youth.
also to cut all ties with the woman you had an affair with.
and to make amends with your wife.
God says that no one sin is greater than another.
&&& God says that when we correct a brother who is guilty of sin, do so with love lest we should also slip and need her mercy and understanding.
//quote: I have struggled with this for over a year, trying to put it in perspective. Still I cannot rationalize why anyone would do it. To me it is adultery. I am hurt but I really shouldn't be if she knew the truth about me. I have been harsh and hurt by her actions but truly I shouldn't be.
God said, before you seek to pull the mote out of thy brother's eye first pull you the beam out of your eye so you may see more clearly to help your brother.
This is wonderful to read. She sounds like a strong, Christian woman. You are very blessed .
There is the possibility that the woman you've been involved with will retaliate...you need to be prepared for that. Matter of fact, it may be better for you to confess to your wife now, before she hears it from someone else. Along with your confession, tell exactly how you plan on changing and begin to implement that plan right away. It will show her that you are serious. Some couples go through a Christian book on marriage together...this is something that is private and easy to do (for the most part).
Don't let the pressure of her finding out throw you into a panic. If this is a big fear, then go ahead and get it over with. Otherwise the stress may cause you to stop your progress into being transformed, made new.
Remember, God honors genuine confession and repentance and WILL go before you into whatever battles you must enter to be made free. Spend quiet time in prayer and listening before going to your wife...and pray for good timing and soft hearts.
Praying for you....stay the course!
. There is the possibility that the woman you've been involved with will retaliate...you need to be prepared for that. Matter of fact, it may be better for you to confess to your wife now, before she hears it from someone else. Along with your confession, tell exactly how you plan on changing and begin to implement that plan right away. It will show her that you are serious. Some couples go through a Christian book on marriage together...this is something that is private and easy to do (for the most part).
Don't let the pressure of her finding out throw you into a panic. If this is a big fear, then go ahead and get it over with. Otherwise the stress may cause you to stop your progress into being transformed, made new.
Remember, God honors genuine confession and repentance and WILL go before you into whatever battles you must enter to be made free. Spend quiet time in prayer and listening before going to your wife...and pray for good timing and soft hearts.
Praying for you....stay the course!
S
Today I woke up with a feeling of peace about me I haven't felt many years. Last night I prayed the sinners prayer and had a good talk with the Lord.
I don't know if I'm ready just yet to tell my wife of my sinful ways but I feel God had forgiven me and that I am ready to take any step necessary to always put God first and turn from the life I've been living.
Thank you all for your prayers and please keep praying for me. I feel you all in a circle in my mind lifting me up.
I am not afraid of the other woman telling my wife first nor anyone else because if they do, it is God's will and I must accept the fate of my past regardless. I hope it is me because I need that ability to account for what I did after many hours of prayer and deep thinking. May God bless everyone.
I don't know if I'm ready just yet to tell my wife of my sinful ways but I feel God had forgiven me and that I am ready to take any step necessary to always put God first and turn from the life I've been living.
Thank you all for your prayers and please keep praying for me. I feel you all in a circle in my mind lifting me up.
I am not afraid of the other woman telling my wife first nor anyone else because if they do, it is God's will and I must accept the fate of my past regardless. I hope it is me because I need that ability to account for what I did after many hours of prayer and deep thinking. May God bless everyone.
The person most hurt by all of this is you, not your wife, not your kids. The one you need most to make it up to is you. You have become a liar and a cheat. God gave you marriage, and it was for a strong spiritually grown person and you are not that person. So it is you that you need to go to with honesty most, to take to the Lord.
In the bible, King David did as you are doing. Still David was a man after God's own heart. He paid terribly in this life for what he did. He was a sad man who either lost sons in death or through what they did and it was because of what he did with, especially, Bathsheba. It is in 1 and 2 Samuel. But David's sins were absolutely forgiven so he grew spiritually. You can, too. David was a man who wrote the 23rd psalm, do read it again.
You need God, lots of God. You need the sermon on the mount, you need the book of Genesis, you need what God says in 1 Corinthians, you need the gospel of John. And you need to be humble before the Holy Spirit.
In the bible, King David did as you are doing. Still David was a man after God's own heart. He paid terribly in this life for what he did. He was a sad man who either lost sons in death or through what they did and it was because of what he did with, especially, Bathsheba. It is in 1 and 2 Samuel. But David's sins were absolutely forgiven so he grew spiritually. You can, too. David was a man who wrote the 23rd psalm, do read it again.
You need God, lots of God. You need the sermon on the mount, you need the book of Genesis, you need what God says in 1 Corinthians, you need the gospel of John. And you need to be humble before the Holy Spirit.
S
I am weak. I had my chance but chose not to say anything. Sometimes I think God would rather me to save my family than put them through the agony of what I could reveal. I have made peace with God. I have prayed more than I have ever prayed about anything. I have read every scripture quoted for me and those I've found independently multiple times. I haven't had the urge to confess to her laid in my heart and maybe it's best to keep my secret till death unless someone else tells her.
G
In a complex situation like this you honestly have to look at it from your wife's perspective, you cheated on your wife. You say that your issue is hypocritical because you got upset that she she send some pics to a guy even though you cheated on her prior to the event, but the way I look at it is that I don't see any thing hypocritical about it; when you get right down to the facts you sleep with another woman and all your wife did was take some pics, and not to be rude or harsh, what your wife did was not the same as what you did. If I was in your situation and as a woman, if my partner cheated on me I would not only want them to tell me but need them to tell me. Despite the fact that it is over with your girlfriend you have no right to keep this from her, she deserves to know and it is completely up to her how to handle the the situation once you tell her and what should done about it afterwards.