Being hypocritical

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RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#61
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#61
I think what they're sayiong is that we are all, including you, pretty much in agreement what you need to do here. More discussion and prayer isn't going to make that clearer. I still pray for you because you are obviously in a deep struggle, but at some point you're going to have to man up and do it. No one can do it for you, not us or even God. It is for you to do.
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#62
Jul 31, 2013
36,691
13,135
113
#62
why do any of us question whether or not telling the truth is a good plan?

everything will be plain on that day; on this day everything is plain before God.

do we want to visit the belly of a whale?

hey i'm guilty too. just sayin'
 
M

Mammachickadee

Guest
#63
#63
posthuman said:
why do any of us question whether or not telling the truth is a good plan?

everything will be plain on that day; on this day everything is plain before God.

do we want to visit the belly of a whale?

hey i'm guilty too. just sayin'
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In certain cases there's telling the truth for our conscience and then there's telling the truth to clear the air in a marriage. One is for self and one is for the marriage. It is understandable that a man would not want to shatter his wife's world by telling her he has also done something immoral.
 
C

Cino

Guest
#64
#64
Sorrowfulone said:
About a year ago, my wife confessed that she sent an inappropriate pic of a body part to someone of the opposite sex. At the time that it happened, she said it was an accident and even asked me to use her phone and tell him it was sent by accident (yea right). Having had unquestionable trust in her I did as she asked me to do and typed the text because she said she was too torn up to do it.
Months later, she truly confessed that she didn't do it by accident. She did it because the guy asked her to. She claims to this day that she had no feelings for the guy. I have struggled with this for over a year, trying to put it in perspective. Still I cannot rationalize why anyone would do it. To me it is adultery. I am hurt but I really shouldn't be if she knew the truth about me. I have been harsh and hurt by her actions but truly I shouldn't be.
Since the second year we were married, I have been unfaithful to her. At first my relationship was more of an emotional affair but three years in, we had sex and did so many times after that. I always felt extreme guilt but I've never truly cut ties with the other woman. We have not had sex or seen each other in a couple of years but still text on a regular basis. I have never told my wife but the last 13 years have been built on lies.
Should I tell her what I've done or should I say nothing and simply forgive her and continue on with the marriage? I will gladly stop the other relationship and stay with her because we do have two children together. I don't know what is right about the situation or whether I truly love my wife. I know I don't love my mistress but our relationship has gone on for almost as long as my marriage. Any guidance would be appreciated but please be kind in your judgement of me. I believe I am a Christian but I have a very twisted life and God knows I am ashamed of how my life has turned out to this point.
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The Bible says he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. If you have been having an affair, a real affair with real sex for so many years, then what are you going on about your wife sending a man a pic? You must forgive her, but YOU yourself must cut off ALL ties with that other woman. You have a lot of repenting to do on your own accord, so get down on your knees and ask God for forgiveness. Don't cut your wife apart when you yourself have been doing worse. Get over it. You don't have to confess your affair to her, as it may make your whole marriage fall apart. But you DO need to confess it to God and ask for forgiveness. Forgive your wife, ask God for forgiveness for YOUR sin, and completely CUT OFF all ties with the other woman.
 
R

reject-tech

Guest
#65
#65
If I get your story straight, then -

Your being upset with what your wife did compared to what you are doing is John the baptist crying for you to straighten up.
It's a preview of the "eye for eye" that will come if you don't stop cheating on your wife.

If you find out that she has also been cheating on you for a few years, will you rage in jealousy?

Count yourself as having experienced mercy thus far?
 
R

Rolnik

Guest
#66
#66
Im quite too young to give a good answer but keep in my that by doing good He never said it would be easy, but it would be worth it :)
 
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