Can't accept my girlfriend's past
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God being love is not a human affection that makes us acting silly, irrationally and unbiblically.
Romantic love so propagated for the last two centuries is a fabricated affection elevated to a "high feeling" for which we are supposed to divoce, marry and decide profound life issues. Which produces such a mess we see today.
"I love him, therefore it is ok to do this or that"
"I was afraid, therefore it was ok to do this or that"
- No.
Romantic love so propagated for the last two centuries is a fabricated affection elevated to a "high feeling" for which we are supposed to divoce, marry and decide profound life issues. Which produces such a mess we see today.
"I love him, therefore it is ok to do this or that"
"I was afraid, therefore it was ok to do this or that"
- No.
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I absolutely agree with you a Thousand percents. Still, you're talking about affection, not feelings. There's a difference. Acting out of affection always ends up bad.
Being "in love" with someone IS affection. The butterflies and all that s..tuff, I completely agree. It weakens your mind and the power you have over yourself. Loving someone, on the other hand, is completely different, and in most cases, it is rational. At least to me.
Being "in love" with someone IS affection. The butterflies and all that s..tuff, I completely agree. It weakens your mind and the power you have over yourself. Loving someone, on the other hand, is completely different, and in most cases, it is rational. At least to me.
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How exactly can you be meaningful and spread truth, when you're knowingly living a lie? You KNOW it's wrong to be with an unbeliever, you KNOW she's not a Christian, you KNOW she's unregretful of her sexual sin. You KNOW what GOD'S opinion on this is. Yet you're giving Him the middle finger by defying Him and staying with her. In every post you've made, it's all "I, I, I". You haven't mentioned God once in all this, you've only stated how YOU feel. How do you think GOD feels on this?
YOU feel it's the right thing to do, to stay with her. What about what GOD wants you to do? You cannot serve God as long as you're with an unrepentant sinner. You're only making a mockery of His name and words by refusing to leave her.
The only positive thing you've said about this girl is that she loves like no one else ever has. How do you know? According to you, your mama is the only other one who has loved you that way. What about GOD'S love for you? It's bigger and stronger beyond anything that mama and this girl will ever give you. You must never have truly felt GOD'S love for you, because if you did, you wouldn't even be able to compare any human's love, to God's love.
You have really low standards for yourself and your Christianity, if you'd rather follow your own feeling and stay with an unrepentant non-believer, rather than wake up and realize that what GOD wants you to do, is to shake off the dust and get yourself unyoked from her.
Your resentment, unforgiveness and unacceptance will do nothing but bring you down and destroy you. So will your prideful attitude, which presents itself in nearly every post you've made thus far. IF you love God, you'll do what he says regarding non-believers. And IF you truly love this girl, you will forgive her, accept her past, and move on without her.
YOU feel it's the right thing to do, to stay with her. What about what GOD wants you to do? You cannot serve God as long as you're with an unrepentant sinner. You're only making a mockery of His name and words by refusing to leave her.
The only positive thing you've said about this girl is that she loves like no one else ever has. How do you know? According to you, your mama is the only other one who has loved you that way. What about GOD'S love for you? It's bigger and stronger beyond anything that mama and this girl will ever give you. You must never have truly felt GOD'S love for you, because if you did, you wouldn't even be able to compare any human's love, to God's love.
You have really low standards for yourself and your Christianity, if you'd rather follow your own feeling and stay with an unrepentant non-believer, rather than wake up and realize that what GOD wants you to do, is to shake off the dust and get yourself unyoked from her.
Your resentment, unforgiveness and unacceptance will do nothing but bring you down and destroy you. So will your prideful attitude, which presents itself in nearly every post you've made thus far. IF you love God, you'll do what he says regarding non-believers. And IF you truly love this girl, you will forgive her, accept her past, and move on without her.
How is defying God's word, and staying with an unremorseful non-believer going to "bring justice"? Relying on your own feelings is a foolish idea, and it never works out the way we want it to. By staying with her, defying God and being unrepentant of your own prideful ego, that makes you just as bad a sinner as she is. You'll both get justice eventually--GOD'S justice, and neither of you will like HIS consequences.
You obviously don't love her for the sex, because you say neither of you has or needs it. So really, you're with her because she supposedly loves you, even more than God does. Here's a surprise: it is NOT possible for a human to love another more than GOD loves them.
So you're getting your love from the wrong place.
You obviously don't love her for the sex, because you say neither of you has or needs it. So really, you're with her because she supposedly loves you, even more than God does. Here's a surprise: it is NOT possible for a human to love another more than GOD loves them.
So you're getting your love from the wrong place.
Just because you're not interested in sex does not mean that she's not interested in sex. There is such a thing as consummating a marriage which in your case does not seem likely to happen. I see only trouble in this relationship, now and in the future. This does not bode well for either of you. You're a Christian and she is not interested in becoming one. Perhaps it's best to end it now and spare both of you tremendous pain and heartbreak. This is not going to end well.
normally don't visit this side of town,
must say you speak about Love in a very cavalier way
but i think just me now, that this isn't about her, this about you, you have done something your ashamed of, and your trying to put your shame on her.
I suspect you think that God won't forgive you, and you have no one to share your misery with
Speak to God come clean, whether you did something or i am blowing smoke, come clean.
most people go to God with a story thats fit for human consumption.
you can't go to God with half truths he aready knows the truth
must say you speak about Love in a very cavalier way
but i think just me now, that this isn't about her, this about you, you have done something your ashamed of, and your trying to put your shame on her.
I suspect you think that God won't forgive you, and you have no one to share your misery with
Speak to God come clean, whether you did something or i am blowing smoke, come clean.
most people go to God with a story thats fit for human consumption.
you can't go to God with half truths he aready knows the truth
So many red flags it's hard to know where to start! I'll try and touch on a few things I didn't see mentioned. Maybe I'm going to be harsh, but I hope you will read all I have to say.
1. Codependency! When life without the person is "hell" and you can't get away from them, even though they are not what you want, that is a sick relationship. I would suggest this will happen with anyone, Virgin or not! You are enmeshed, rather than in love. Please google these terms.
2. Mama's boy? Or not! Always bad to compare someone to mama, regardless of how much you love your mama. Plus, this whole mama versus sluts (basically what you feel your girlfriend is for sleeping with someone!) is a sign of a serious mental problem on you part. No one can really compare with mama, ever! Not if she was a virgin, you would find something else to compare, and hold it against her for not being up there with your mother. Try this link:
https://sites.psu.edu/aspsy/2015/10/03/madonna-whore-complex/
3. Are you are Christian or merely baptized as a baby, perhaps an Orthodox Church, being Bulgarian?! My grandparents were saved Orthodox, but there is a myth that baptizing gets you into heaven, rather than faith in Christ. Eight pages and not once have you talked about your faith in Christ. You show appalling ignorance of the Bible, especially even dating an avowed non-Christian, but holding her up to Christian standards. You have no understanding of forgiveness, only that she needs to repent to YOU, not God, for something she does not know is wrong, being worldly.
Have you received Christ as Saviour, or are you relying on church/baptism/etc for salvation? Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to MacDonald's makes you a hamburger.
4. You are asexual? This means without sexual desire. That means you may never want a sexual relationship. Is it fair to marry any women if you are asexual? You need to see a doctor if this is the case. If not, and you are saving yourself for marriage, that is NOT asexual. But, make sure you know the difference.
5. What they all said above!! If you really are a Christian, which I doubt, bring unequally yoked would be a lifetime sin! Chew on that a bit!
1. Codependency! When life without the person is "hell" and you can't get away from them, even though they are not what you want, that is a sick relationship. I would suggest this will happen with anyone, Virgin or not! You are enmeshed, rather than in love. Please google these terms.
2. Mama's boy? Or not! Always bad to compare someone to mama, regardless of how much you love your mama. Plus, this whole mama versus sluts (basically what you feel your girlfriend is for sleeping with someone!) is a sign of a serious mental problem on you part. No one can really compare with mama, ever! Not if she was a virgin, you would find something else to compare, and hold it against her for not being up there with your mother. Try this link:
https://sites.psu.edu/aspsy/2015/10/03/madonna-whore-complex/
3. Are you are Christian or merely baptized as a baby, perhaps an Orthodox Church, being Bulgarian?! My grandparents were saved Orthodox, but there is a myth that baptizing gets you into heaven, rather than faith in Christ. Eight pages and not once have you talked about your faith in Christ. You show appalling ignorance of the Bible, especially even dating an avowed non-Christian, but holding her up to Christian standards. You have no understanding of forgiveness, only that she needs to repent to YOU, not God, for something she does not know is wrong, being worldly.
Have you received Christ as Saviour, or are you relying on church/baptism/etc for salvation? Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to MacDonald's makes you a hamburger.
4. You are asexual? This means without sexual desire. That means you may never want a sexual relationship. Is it fair to marry any women if you are asexual? You need to see a doctor if this is the case. If not, and you are saving yourself for marriage, that is NOT asexual. But, make sure you know the difference.
5. What they all said above!! If you really are a Christian, which I doubt, bring unequally yoked would be a lifetime sin! Chew on that a bit!
J
All of us have a past. We cannot categorise sin. If God has forgiven her so should you. We have been told in the bible that we should not compare ourselves with others. If she is callous towards her past sins, it is wrong. She should feel sorrow for her sin. If you believe that her past is a problem you should call it quits. . My advice is to pray for her and allow God to convict her.
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Alright, we speak different languages and perceive things differently. I doubt that me not being native in English is the problem. So, yeah, there's no point for me to stay here anymore.
The wrestling guy turned out to be right. It's bizarre to share that kind of problems, especially with people you don't know, cause things like that have so many nuances, I myself can't even understand fully, let alone someone who's never met me, doesn't know a thing about me and can only judge me by a few posts I made on a website. So, yeah, my bad. But it kinda opened my eyes for some things, and it wasn't about how I perceive the past. Anyways, thank you.
The wrestling guy turned out to be right. It's bizarre to share that kind of problems, especially with people you don't know, cause things like that have so many nuances, I myself can't even understand fully, let alone someone who's never met me, doesn't know a thing about me and can only judge me by a few posts I made on a website. So, yeah, my bad. But it kinda opened my eyes for some things, and it wasn't about how I perceive the past. Anyways, thank you.
One thing that we can all perceive, is that you cannot forgive OR forget her sexual past. And no matter what, that will always be an issue between you. Even if you DO manage to forgive her, which is kind of silly because she doesn't need YOUR forgiveness, you will still ALWAYS remember what she's done in her past.. And until you can make it a non-issue between you, this relationship is nothing but doomed.. especially since you're a Christian and she isn't. That aspect won't work out for you either.