homosexual family member

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savedandhopeful

Guest
#1
As a Christian I know that this life style is a sin...how does one "deal" with this situation? I love this family member but their life choice is against my beliefs
 
Aug 24, 2013
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#2
If the bible had a different stance on homosexuality.... Would you?
 

yac11

Senior Member
Mar 24, 2013
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#3
As a Christian I know that this life style is a sin...how does one "deal" with this situation? I love this family member but their life choice is against my beliefs
My girlfriend's oldest daughter is gay and living with her partner. Her and her husband cried every night for 3 years when in bed. Her daughter and partner now own a home together and have 2 children. It was and still is difficult for my girl friend especially more so when the first child was born.

I told her that she should just love her daughter, or she will lose her, and leave the judging up to God. When the conversations come up which it does, "do you accept my choice now mother"? My girlfriend says the truth. No I don't understand what your doing and why you choose to do it. I am your mother and I love you.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#4
You should live your Christianity, pray for them, and if they ask or God prompts you: share with them scripture about God's love and His holiness.

It's difficult when you have a family member whom you love that is living a life of sin. The most common are sex sin (fornication, adultery, homosexuality), drug/alcohol addiction, and choosing another worldview (e.g. atheism or a false religious system).

But it's a well traveled road and many people choose that for themselves. You have to understand that it is their choice to live like that and you cannot change them. What you can do is have love for them, pray for them, and when opportunities present themselves counsel (e.g. influence) them. All this should be done without compromising your own Christianity or becoming an enabler of the sinful life they have chosen to pursue.

Many people, from parents to siblings, find support groups very helpful. Very helpful.

As a Christian I know that this life style is a sin...how does one "deal" with this situation? I love this family member but their life choice is against my beliefs
 
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savedandhopeful

Guest
#5
So kinda like...love the sinner, hate the sin? @ A Pebble Thrown...my view on it would not change, I feel it is wrong, but I am not the judge here.
I guess i should just pray for them and love them ...
 
Aug 24, 2013
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#6
Really, it doesnt affect your life in the slightest does it. He's gonna be the same person regardless of his sexual preference. He hasn't changed as a person and if you didn't know he was gay there wouldn't be an issue.

If you believe there is a higher power that will judge him then there's no need for you to do it too.
 
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Jordache

Guest
#7
How would you treat an alcoholic relative?
one with anger issues
a promiscuous relative
etc. It's all the same.
 
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JATNIEL

Guest
#8
well actually i do think that this is a very difficult situation because no one choice to be gay as a life condition many of these people went through situation which has created confussion in their life and its hard for them to change their sexual prefferences overnight because its unormal and uncomfortable for us having and relationship whith a gay person so this is the same feeling they have thinking about having a natural relationship with the opposite i mean a straight relationship i could understand it because a close friend of mine turned to be gay and even though she knows this kind of life is a sin she says that there is nothing she can do about it she didnt decide to be like that and she have tried everything in phycology and in GOD but nothins changed so it is a a hard and frustrating kind of life becase theyre are descrimitated so we need to pray for the people we love who have this condition because theres nothing imposible for GOD he can change every sitiation .....
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#9
Nonsense Jatniel. There are a great many single Christian celibate people. She has simply chosen not to be one of them.
 
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J-Kay

Guest
#10
As a Christian I know that this life style is a sin...how does one "deal" with this situation

I was thinking how easy it is to love one from a distance. I had a cousin who was. He has since died.
I loved him when he had to come in for his fathers funeral. My heart went out to him. I never brought it up.
After he went back to Calif. we kept in touch. He knew Jesus, but I do not know if he surrendered his life before
he died. I had sent him the book "No Wonder They Call Him Savior" by Max Lucado and he wrote thanking me,
still not saying anything about his standing with the Lord.

When my best friend died, her sister had to come in for the funeral and brought her live in with her. I sat with
them. I did not have to tell them they were living in sin, my friend had already shared that fact with her sister.
I had no problem being with them.

But.... When I think of one of my children or grandchildren were to come in with a male lover, or female with
a lover, that would be such a difficult issue to deal with. God would have to give me the grace to tell them
they are living in sin. Praying to God it never happens, but we never know, do we ? I see it as the same as
my family female member living with her fiance' ( male ) before marriage. Sin is sin. Some seems more nasty
than others. Personally I have more of a problem with male and male, than woman to woman. Simply because
of the acts they perform.

Love is the answer. I think of the Words of Jesus, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Also, we were sinners before we came to Christ. The Holy Spirit convicted us, right ? So could we not pray
God convict them and then ask Him to love them through us ? God bless you, I will pray for you to know
exactly how God would have you relate to your loved one. He will show you.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#11
Your statement is fallacious. What people do often affects others. You may want to take a sociology class when the opportunity arises. You will learn a great deal about how society affects individuals, individuals affect society, societies affect other societies, and individuals affect other individuals. Association of Christians Teaching Sociology

Really, it doesnt affect your life in the slightest does it. He's gonna be the same person regardless of his sexual preference. He hasn't changed as a person and if you didn't know he was gay there wouldn't be an issue.

If you believe there is a higher power that will judge him then there's no need for you to do it too.
 
Aug 24, 2013
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#13
Your statement is fallacious. What people do often affects others. You may want to take a sociology class when the opportunity arises. You will learn a great deal about how society affects individuals, individuals affect society, societies affect other societies, and individuals affect other individuals. Association of Christians Teaching Sociology
It's not fallacious at all! If people just got on with their own lives and stopped being concerned with things that are none of their business then nothing would be affected.

It only affects people who allow it to affect them. Or ever worse it effects
People who go our of their way to get in people's business to look for
Something to be offended about.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#14
Wrong. The reason why I told you to take a sociology course is so that you begin to learn how the behavior of people influences society resulting in social forces that impinge upon individuals (often influencing their decisions and behavior).

What we often see as "private" say poverty, unemployment, homosexuality, anorexia, drug use, divorce, etc... are also public issues. For example, while people caught in poverty are often seen as just "lazy individuals," sociology sees poverty as also being the product of a malfunctioning socio-economic system.

Likewise the Bible informs us that Jesus Christ died to cancel out sin and bring people into a right relationship with God. Sinful individuals create social sin that manifest as laws, structures, and institutions built on sin.

For example the verse Ephesians 6:12 states, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." Sociologists focus on the social sins and problems deriving from these "principalities and powers."

It is a fact that society changes people and people change society and sociology explores this with an eye toward reconciling the relationship in positive ways.


It's not fallacious at all! If people just got on with their own lives and stopped being concerned with things that are none of their business then nothing would be affected.

It only affects people who allow it to affect them. Or ever worse it effects
People who go our of their way to get in people's business to look for
Something to be offended about.
 
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letti

Guest
#15
Yes,Ageofknowlege you are correct,society is affected and influenced by it's example put forth.
 
Dec 19, 2009
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#16
As a Christian I know that this life style is a sin...how does one "deal" with this situation? I love this family member but their life choice is against my beliefs
You can love the person. Just don't give your blessing to the sin they commit.
 
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lcerveny

Guest
#17
I work for a doctor who said that being gay is NOT a choice. I about fell off my chair. So I had to open my big mouth and say...So you're saying that God makes mistakes?
She did not understand and I should have kept my mouth shut but come on people...........with the media shoving it down our throats its no wonder why people who are lost think its ok.
Someone said above.........Love the sinner but hate the sin. Very true.
Being gay is a choice.
 

Groovy_Dan

Junior Member
Aug 26, 2013
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#18
As often is the case in sociology - massive assumptions are made about people by other people and EVERY post more or less in response to the OP's concern has made the following assumptions:

They all equate being Homosexual (or Gay) to "Having Sex".

If I told you I was straight as a dice and single - would you assume I was having premarital or unlawful sex according to the teachings of Scripture?

Too many people jump on the wagon immediately screaming "It the same as Adultery or premarital sex) when actually - only the actual sex act itself would constitute this reaction.

A homosexual may never have sex, but that doesn't stop their "**Sexual Preference". **The phrase sexual preference here has nothing to do with actual sex as above mentioned. It merely describes the individuals preference of the gender of the people they emotionally relate to.

Just because somebody says they are Gay - don't assume their are in an active sexual relationship. There is a big difference between an active relationship, and a relationship which features sex as a device.

Secondly, whats the phrase "Gay Lifestyle" mean? We have all heard it right?

It is the euphemism for Gay Sex and is used to define gay relationships from start to end taking into account the above detailed common assumption.


Essentially, don't assume just because a man or woman would prefer to emotionally bond with somebody of the same sex, that they are immediately as guilty in sin as an Adulterer.

Nowhere is it said that I somebody go for a meal with a great friend to whom they are emotionally bonded, hold his hand on the way home and give him a kiss goodnight. But what it is documented is the following 12 popular scripture passages relating to this post......watch out for the theme now.

1. Genesis 19:5: "And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them."
2. Leviticus 18:22: " Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."
3. Leviticus 20:13: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
4. Deuteronomy 23:17: " There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel."
5. Judges 19:22: "Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him."
6. 1 Kings 14:24: "And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel."
7. 1 Kings 15:12: "And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made."
8. 1 Kings 22:46: "And the remnant of the sodomites, which remained in the days of his father Asa, he took out of the land."
9. 2 Kings 23:7: "And he brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD, where the women wove hangings for the grove."
10. Romans 1:26-27: "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."
11. 1 Corinthian 6:9: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind."
12. 1 Timothy 1:9:10: "Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, 10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;"


All of these relate directly to sexual relationships and not 1 mentions anything about a purely emotional relationship. Where does it say...."And You Shall Not Kiss a Man"? or "Damned Are The Same Sex Hand Holders"?

Essentially - stop making assumptions - pray with and for your family member that they may find happiness and comfort within the parameters of Gods Word.

This family member doesn't need healing, they need your prayers and support, they need your Witness that they may find a relationship with Jesus, deepened by The Spirit. Then they will begin to see that everything they do, serves and praises God.

They may at this point re-assess.
 
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Anna20fAustralia

Guest
#19
Much better to love your family member. Just agree to disagree. There is nothing else you can do about it. I dont want to use bad language, but just dont be a douchebag. The choice is your's. Suppoert them. Pray for them. Love them. That is what it is all about.
 
Mar 21, 2011
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#20
How would you treat an alcoholic relative?
one with anger issues
a promiscuous relative
etc. It's all the same.
This.

I'm pretty sure the parents weren't crying themselves to sleep every night about drunks in the extended family,