As the daughter of parents who are missionaries, you can imagine the shock they experienced when I told them my freshman year in college that I was struggling with my sexuality, and my whole life had been attracted to girls. I remember I had just gotten back from a jog and begged God to give me courage to tell my parents. Then I got on Skype and called my mom who was Indonesia with my father working to reach the Muslim population for Christ. My hands and voice shook as I told her my deepest darkest secret. I remember my mom saying something to the effect of, "Phoebe, I want you to know that I love you, and we will get through this together, okay?" Then my Dad got on the phone and he told me that he was sorry for all the times he hadn't been the best father. Then he began to cry and say that he loved me very much. For me I was lucky to have parents that didn't "freak out" on me when I told them. They never condemned me, but they did not agree with acting on my feelings. They paid for me to go to counseling, and I went for about 3 years specifically for my same-sex attractions. I've learned so much about who God is through dealing with the reality of my attractions. Has it been hell on earth sometimes in my relationship with my parents since then? The answer is Yes, it has. There have been times when I wanted to end everything, and leave Christianity completely. But I believe that love always overcomes every struggle and every sin we may face. Everyday I have to make a choice not to give into the temptation of going into the "lifestyle". And when I fail, and I have many times, my parents do not shake their head at me and say, "Shame on you Phoebe, you know that you shouldn't do that!". They pray for me, they love me, and they just listen.
I want to say that it is never easy for any Christian parent who believe that living a life of homosexuality is wrong to hear that one of their children is possible gay, or even more heart breaking, living in the lifestyle. But through the pain, the confusion, and the disappointment, no matter what their child chooses to do, loving them through it is NEVER the wrong choice.
