Most polite way to ask the Girl out

[Elijah19]

Asking a girl out can be a delicate process for a guy, because it takes both the guts and toughness to walk up to it, as well as the sensitive heart to open your emotions to somebody else.

It can equally be a delicate process for a girl, I imagine, because it will be both flattering and a little startling.

I have asked a lot of girls out on dates in my time, and some have said yes while others rejected. I've learned to accept both answers understanding.

But what I want to know is this: What is the most polite and appropriate way to ask a girl out? Sometimes I'll ask and my friends of both genders will say that I "came on too strong" and other times they will say I "came on too weak". It's weird because this is a delicate balance. If I try to be polite, they say I come across too weak, but if I try to be be rugged and manly, they say I come across too strong. And to top it all off, if I try to just be myself and be honest, they tell me I come across as "Creepy" (which really hurts my ego).

So where's the happy median?

Ladies, I'm asking you primarily. What is the most Strong AND Polite way to ask a girl out that is Honest but not Creepy?

Thanks and God bless you

 

[JonahLynx]

"Hey, if you aren't busy, would you want to go out for [insert food] Friday?"
"Sure/No thanks."
"Okay, cool."

 

[JesusMyOnly]

I can't give you a direct answer on this and I hate to keep you 'guessing' but all I can say is this, as long as you are genuine, honest and nice it doesn't matter how you approach and ask her. It also all depends on the girl. Some girls like when a guy is 'too strong' (manly) or when he is 'too weak' (sensitive). And even if you are not intentionally trying to be creepy someone could see it that way.


If you are going to ask a girl out you probably already know (at least) some things about her. Her personality and behavior, how you should approach her and what her possible answer could be. If you do not know this girl and you want to know her, just start conversation. Simple, clean conversation.


It can be nerve wrecking and awkward (especially when you think how if you are doing well enough or not) but all you can do is offer to spend time together the best way you can in that moment. Being genuine, honest and nice

 

[MadParrotWoman]

I would say keep it casual. Kinda like JonahLynx put it.

 

[TrueColors]

For me. I have never asked a girl out. Anywhere I have with her is a fun play to be and just talk and be silly. School, Church, Home, Park, Haunted House. Never asked a girl out never will and my wife I didn't even asked her out. We just chatted and have fun and decided to go alittle bit further. Being friendly, loving, and kind is the best thing you can do for anyone male/females, crush, lover, wife/husband. You don't have to worry about being nervous to ask her out. She knows and you knows so relax and just have fun with her DON'T RUSH INITO BF/GF it's too much work.

 

[tourist]

I feel very relaxed with my wife and before we were married as well. Neither one of us were nervous with each other. Yes, it is indeed fun.

 

[MadParrotWoman]

I feel very relaxed with my wife and before we were married as well. Neither one of us were nervous with each other. Yes, it is indeed fun.

Aww a love match made in Heaven..

 

[JesusLives]

Please just be yourself when you ask a girl out. The thing about that is she will know the real you and you don't have to pretend to be someone that you aren't. If they think you are creepy then that is their problem. Tourist said he was shy. He was never shy with me and both of us have always been ourselves and that is what I like the best about our relationship. We can be the real us and we accept each other for who we are faults and all.

Best way to ask a girl out starts with opening your mouth and asking being yourself. If you are funny be funny as don't you want to be with someone who would not appreciate that. If you are nerdy then be that because we need the smart ones that know all about the computers to help us out and you would appreciate her for wanting to be with you. Pray about finding one that can connect with you and when you know God is in the mix it is so much better actually it is the BEST.....Keep asking and don't stop until you find the one or are ready to stop.....God bless and enjoy life.

 

[Kaycie]

If I really like a guy it's not going to matter how he asks me, the answer will be yes. And if I don't like him the answer will be no. You can just tell if someone likes you. If you haven't spent enough time with the person to know if they even like you, then you're moving way too fast to ask them for a date. How do you know if she likes you? Her eyes light up and she smiles whenever your name is mentioned.

 

[jsr1221]

If I really like a guy it's not going to matter how he asks me, the answer will be yes. And if I don't like him the answer will be no. You can just tell if someone likes you. If you haven't spent enough time with the person to know if they even like you, then you're moving way too fast to ask them for a date. How do you know if she likes you? Her eyes light up and she smiles whenever your name is mentioned.

But what if you're not around when your name is mentioned?

 

[Kaycie]

But what if you're not around when your name is mentioned?

I should've said whether your name is mentioned, or she sees you. I guess it can be tough. If I like a guy and I think he doesn't feel the same way, I try to hide it by looking away if he looks at me but isn't talking to me. If you ALWAYS catch her looking at you before she turns away, you are the subject on her mind. But I also try to show respect to whomever is speaking to me by looking them in the eyes, that has nothing to do with romance. There are a lot of videos on YouTube about how to tell if someone likes you, I found them fairly accurate.

 

[Tintin]

Nice isn't good. If nice worked, I'd be married and have 19 kids by now! (eg. Duggar reference). If you mean, has integrity and respect AND is confident, then you have a better chance. You can be an all-round good guy, but if the girl isn't attracted to you and doesn't see you as the type to bring her security, it means little. So be yourself, but work on having confidence in Christ. Who He made you, what your purpose is, and the authority you have in Him (not over people but over the Enemy).

 

[Tintin]

Please don't get me wrong, I don't feel I'm entitled to have a girlfriend, but the reality is that if you have little to no confidence in yourself and who you are in Christ, you may find yourself with many girl friends (which is cool), but have trouble finding a girlfriend (which isn't so cool). Like I said, confidence in Christ. It's key. The key to the door of quality relationships. Or just in learning who you are. Either way, it's necessary.

 

[kenthomas27]

Nice isn't good. If nice worked, I'd be married and have 19 kids by now!

HA! Or 35 if she laid eggs. Ya didn't come out of that thing brainless, did ya Tintin

(He's my new hero)

I think it's all in the clothes myself. My sleenker hat dazzles the young ladies....

 

[violakat]

Just ask her out. As someone said, there is always going to be someone wanting to offense, no matter how you say it. There is no perfect way of asking her out.

 

[jsr1221]

Please don't get me wrong, I don't feel I'm entitled to have a girlfriend, but the reality is that if you have little to no confidence in yourself and who you are in Christ, you may find yourself with many girl friends (which is cool), but have trouble finding a girlfriend (which isn't so cool). Like I said, confidence in Christ. It's key. The key to the door of quality relationships. Or just in learning who you are. Either way, it's necessary.

Your confidence gets shattered when the same thing happens over and over again. It's kind of hard to find it and pick up the pieces.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hand her one of these...

 

[Tintin]

Your confidence gets shattered when the same thing happens over and over again. It's kind of hard to find it and pick up the pieces.

Oh, I agree. I've been rejected by many girls from high school to last year and you're right, it hurts like nobody's business. I don't deny that at all. That's why it's so important to know our identity isn't in other people or even ourselves, but that it's in Christ. Because He's the unshakeable foundation we need for life. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's the only way to live.

 

[Ugly]

There's always the option of getting to know the girl well enough to sense if there's any interest. You know, building a foundation of friendship first. Then, if you don't get any indication there's a mutual attraction, worst case you've made a new friend.
I'm not a big fan of walking up to random females, or barely knowing a female, and asking them out. To me, if it's a yes, this can be a fast track to emotions without actually learning anything about the person first. Then you have emotions for someone you barely know and once you finally get to know them you realize you aren't really attracted anymore, but there's a bond already. Personally i see it as a rather emotionally unhealthy way to approach things.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I'm with Ugly on this one... I would need to know a guy at least a little before agreeing to go out with him. Either by seeing him multiple times at the same hang-out, or having mutual friends, or something similar.

Kaycie also makes a good point. If she's into you, she'll say yes however you ask, and if she's not, she'll say no regardless of your method. It may not be the method so much as the girl herself.

My advice is to be sincere. I wouldn't want to be the 5th person this week that this guy has asked out. I'd want him to ask me because he saw something in me that was special. Other than that, casual is great. "Hey, what would you think about grabbing some coffee together sometime?". Judge her reaction and go from there.